HO HO HOPE you become a Newgrounds Supporter this year!
We're working hard to give you the best site possible, but we have bills to pay and community support is vital to keep things going and growing. Thank you for considering!
At 4/26/17 09:20 PM, MchectorII wrote: Wrong portal:
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/692493
Nope. Right portal. It is interactive. If you press either of the 2 Brownish stripes on his jacket, he will do stuff. It's barely en0ugh but it is en0ugh. S0 it can stay. (N0t likely)
At 4/26/17 10:24 PM, gamejunkie wrote:At 4/26/17 09:20 PM, MchectorII wrote: Wrong portal:Nope. Right portal. It is interactive. If you press either of the 2 Brownish stripes on his jacket, he will do stuff. It's barely en0ugh but it is en0ugh. S0 it can stay. (N0t likely)
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/692493
Uh oh,with 2 stars,looks like it's here to stay!But thanks for telling me the controls.
And 'KNFgames':
Wrong submissions in Movies Portal:
At 4/29/17 08:46 AM, NekoMika wrote: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/692674
Audio only
Sounds like a good candidate for removal.
At 4/29/17 09:15 AM, Asandir wrote:At 4/29/17 08:46 AM, NekoMika wrote: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/692674Sounds like a good candidate for removal.
Audio only
On a related note, the last 2 of these got blammed, but he didn't get the message, despite me leaving a review. Thus, I have removed this one by mod means instead of blam:
-
Unpublished Submission
OFFICIAL MEMORANDUM - ELITE GUARD BARRACKS COMMUNICATIONS
From: CBO EGSC ByteSlinger
To: ALL BARRACKS PERSONNEL
Date: 30-APRIL-2017
RE: Alert to all personnel - changes being implemented as of 1-MAY-2017
Please watch for the 1-MAY-2017 Roster - there will be many important changes being made to the Barracks - all of them good. In fact, it's all good news - and it will affect everyone. Some of you may have been in contact with me about these changes; I ask that you refrain from discussing them until they are officially posted tomorrow.
In a nutshell - it was time for this commander to get off her fat ass and start acting like a leader (but without being a jerk about it!)
And for those non-members reading this - it may even impact you as well. But no spoilers here, you'll have to wait as well.
Please remain alert for the next communique.
As you were, soldiers!
*Salutes*
OFFICIAL MEMORANDUM - ELITE GUARD BARRACKS COMMUNICATIONS (1 of 2)
From: CBO EGSC ByteSlinger
To: ALL BARRACKS PERSONNEL
Date:1-MAY-2017
RE: Current Roster Cleanup, Officer Assignments, Updated Website and new ROTC Program
(1) Roster Cleanup
You will notice that this month's roster is very short. This is because I have removed all inactive personnel from the roster who have been AWOL 12 months or more.
This does include a few newly-retired commanders who have gone on to bigger and better things in real life; they have been marked as honorably discharged.
It was time to move forward and recognize those members who work hard every month, making Newgrounds a better place for all of us. The first part of that recognition was to clean up the roster and showcase the truely active soldiers here in the Barracks.
(2) Officer Assignments
The second recognition was to appoint some of the active members into the newly vacated officer positions after all of the honorable discharges. Much thought was given to the candidates for these positions, and I am happy to announce the new officer assignments for the EGB:
Lt. Chief Barracks Officer (LCBO): EGSC DeftonesFan665
2nd. Lt. Chief Barracks Officer (SLCBO): EGSC GameJunkie
Recruitment Officer (RECO): Sergeant EDM364
Barracks Liason Officer (BLO): EGSC Jolly
The remaining open officer positions are still under discussion, and should be fulfilled shortly.
Let's all congratulate these fine members for their assignments - their loyalty, hard work, dedication and support have earned them their place among the Officers here at the EGB - may they all remain shining examples of leadership for years to come!
*SALUTES* *CHEERS* HUZZAH! HUZZAH! HUZZAH!
(3) Updated Website
It was time to update the Barracks website, www.eliteguardbarracks.com. Besides redesigning it to be mobile friendly, it has a more refined look, additional information pages (FAQ, Manifesto, Rules, Officer Lists, etc), a public contact email address (info@eliteguardbarracks.com), and information about the newly implement ROTC program. It's our website, so if anyone has any ideas, comments, criticisms or opinions, please let me know. I'd like to make it a site that we're all pleased with - functional, informative and worthy of the EGB.
(Continued next post)
OFFICIAL MEMORANDUM - ELITE GUARD BARRACKS COMMUNICATIONS (2 of 2)
From: CBO EGSC ByteSlinger
To: ALL BARRACKS PERSONNEL
Date:1-MAY-2017
RE: Current Roster Cleanup, Officer Assignments, Updated Website and new ROTC Program
(4) BARRACKS Reserve Officer Training Corps (ROTC)
With the closing of the Newgrounds Police Department, many new members of Newgrounds had no where to join to help fight the good fight against the crap that hits the portal every day. Many of the members of the EGB started off in the NGPD, and when they reached the rank of Private, they applied for membership into the Barracks and were accepted to continue their eternal battle. But that hasn't existed for many months - and it has negatively impacted the Barracks in the process.
The ROTC program will open that door once again to new members of Newgrounds who want to work with a group to become better at protecting the portal, and eventually hone their skills to be qualified members of the Elite Guard. The full details are on the website (ROTC) but as an overview:
Minimum Requirements for Entry into the ROTC program
a. A Blam/Protect rank of "Portal Security" or above (400 B/P minimum).
b. Normal Whistle status (Bronze would be nice).
c. Sufficient posting quality (minimal one-liners, intelligent posts that contribute to threads, etc).
d. Sufficient review quality (helpful and civil, with constructive criticism, regardless of the flash or author).
e. No outstanding bans or recent disreputable behavior.
f. No zero-effort flashes (static images, single frames, tiny loops, etc).
If you do meet the minimum requirements, here's the process for admission:
1. Publicly request to be considered for admission to the ROTC program by posting in the Elite Guard Barracks.
2. RECO EDM364 will review your profile and your account history, and determine if you qualify.
3. If you do NOT qualify, you will be advised how to remedy that, and your application put on hold. CBO EGSC Byteslinger may override at any time according to her discretion.
4. If you DO qualify, you will be asked to review the Manifesto, Code of Conduct and the Rules of the EGB, and confirm that you have indeed read them - and understand what is asked of you. Ranking members will have 24 hours to make sure that there are no objections to your admittance. If there are issues (rare), a discrete PM explaining the discussion will be sent, and your request for ROTC admission will be denied for now.
5. If no one has any doubts about your potential, you will be formally accepted into the ROTC program courtesy CBO EGSC Byteslinger.
All active members (Officers, Elite Guards and ROTC) will appear on one roster - we are all in one squad, standing united for what is right in Newgrounds.
It is our hope that this new program will spark renewed interest in the Elite Guard Barracks, and with that we can grow our ranks again with new members eager to train to become the best that they can be.
------------------------------------------------------
I hope you are all excited about these changes as much as I am, and I know I can count on all of you to help bring life back into these dusty halls. It wasn't too long ago that we actually had FUN here - besides doing our job, we'd occasionally get off-topic, get a little rowdy, and even have a few arguments (or spirited discussions) and tell some off-colored jokes. We have been, and always shall be, comrades-in-arms here at the Barracks - but if you're not enjoying it, then I'm not doing my job!
So, without further ado, here is the new roster for 1-MAY-2017:
Barracks Roster as of May 1st, 2017:
View online here
Milestones::
byteslinger - 118K saves, 134K total B/P
DefTonesFan665 - 32K total B/P
Promotions::
No promotions this month.
New Recruits::
No new recruits this month.
Honorable Discharges::
All inactive members (more than 12 months of no activity or contact)
The Roster:
No. B/P / Gain / Average / Level / Change / Username / Rank / Posts / Level
01) 134,047 | 1,065 | 35.50 | B | +021.99 | byteslinger Sup. Commander | 6 | C
02) 83,916 | 0,212 | 07.07 | C | -004.07 | GameJunkie Sup. Commander +1 | 9 | C
03) 66,952 | 0,128 | 04.27 | D | +070.67 | Jolly Sup. Commander +2 | 0 | F
04) 60,715 | 0,233 | 07.77 | C | +015.92 | Exedor Sup. Commander +2 | 24 | B
05) 43,611 | 0,269 | 08.97 | C | +097.79 | Asandir Sup. Commander +4 | 6 | C
06) 32,337 | 0,553 | 18.43 | C | +019.70 | DefTonesFan665 Sup. Commander +5 | 18 | B
07) 27,654 | 0,065 | 02.17 | D | +014.04 | Decky Commander +7 | 0 | F
08) 8,022 | 0,007 | 00.23 | D | +250.00 | ZJ Sgt. First Class +10 | 0 | F
09) 7,591 | 0,031 | 01.03 | D | -079.47 | Jackho Master Sergeant +10 | 1 | D
10) 6,358 | 0,001 | 00.03 | D | +000.00 | BenwaHakubi Staff Sergeant +14 | 0 | F
11) 5,471 | 0,144 | 04.80 | D | +136.07 | EDM364 Sergeant +14 | 20 | B
Top 5 Gainers::
byteslinger - 1,065 (39.33% of total)
DefTonesFan665 - 553 (20.42% of total)
Asandir - 269 (9.93% of total)
Exedor - 233 (8.60% of total)
GameJunkie - 212 (7.83% of total)
Top 5 users accounted for 86.12% of B/P points (2,332 total)
Top gainers, repeat appearances::
byteslinger (51)
DefTonesFan665 (41)
GameJunkie (3)
Exedor (3)
Total gain for month: 2,708 (11 Active Members)
That's 90.27 per day, or 8.21 per day per active member.
==============
Respectfully submitted,
EGSC ByteSlinger
Chief Barracks Officer.
I guess it's about time that I request admission.
At 5/1/17 07:46 AM, GUTHRIE wrote: I guess it's about time that I request admission.
Well, you certainly are more than qualified for admission, so I will contact RECO Sgt. EDM364 and let her begin the process.
Out of curiosity, have you changed your user name? You've been around for a while, but your name isn't familiar.
We will get back to you shortly to begin your admission request and review. Thank you - and stay tuned!
At 5/1/17 12:08 PM, Tezman58 wrote: I've been looking at this for a while now, each time gaining interest. How do I join and what is required of me? If someone explain everything to me I'd be grateful, who knows one day I may be accepted into the Elite Guard Barracks. Until someone replies, out.
Hello, Tezman58.
Thank you for your interest in the Elite Guard Barracks. We have just implemented a new ROTC program that will allow Newgrounds members with a rank of Safety Patrol or higher (400 total B/P) to join the Barracks as trainees; when the rank of Private is attained, they graduate from ROTC to a full member.
We've been around for over 12 years - please refer to our website for all of the answers you seek about the EGB. In short, we are a dedicated group of fighters who keep the balance and the peace in Newgrounds. We do so by identifying rule-breaking flashes, reviews and other content that finds its way into the portal, and help the moderators dispose of them properly. We vote fairly on all flashes (we are NOT a blam or protect club!), and are the first to help out when things get crazy.
On our website is information about us, our history, manifesto, officers list and the new ROTC program. You are always welcome to pose your questions here, or you can reach out to our Recruitment Officer, Sgt @EDM364 for more details.
In the meantime, get a little practice on fairly voting on the under-judgement flash movies and games, and don't be afraid to leave helpful reviews for what you watch and play. You should vote fairly on at least 10 under-judgement entries a day to make sure you get your daily experience credit and build up a few b/p points in the process.
@Byteslinger, please review this post and see if it is to your satisfaction.
At 5/1/17 07:46 AM, GUTHRIE wrote: I guess it's about time that I request admission.
Alright, maggot, let's see.
Level 60. That takes dedication. Impressive.
Gold whistle, more than adequate. Clearly good at finding rule breaking content.
Captain, steadily improving. Good.
Review quality could use some improvement. Actually could use more reviews overall.
Posting quality, lot of one-liners, but the majority I'm seeing are helpful. Your post rate shows you only post when you have something of interest, value, or sufficient validity to post, such as your level-up posts in Wi/Ht.
Reviewing your profile, I would have no qualms about having you fight alongside us in the Portal, a resounding yes, provided you maintain active status. If there are no objections within the next 24 hours to your recruitment, CBO EGSC @Byteslinger will formally induct you into our ranks.
In the meantime, please review the Manifesto, FAQ, and Code of Conduct, which I will append below. This is the first time I've had to dig out my old copy, courtesy @SlashFirestorm cerca 2009. I have updated it to reflect changes across the site. Commander @Byteslinger, if you have a better copy, please.
*****
Here is our abbreviated Code of Conduct. Read it, learn it, and post again with confirmation of your understanding. If you can't abide by these principles, say so.
*****
1. Voting fairly.
This is the foundation of the Elite Guard Barracks. All members are expected to give every flash a fair vote, regardless of who made it or what their group affiliations are. We do not target any flash group, not favorably or in opposition; our only enemies are those who break the rules of the site, not those who merely bend them.
Everyone has a different definition of quality, and all members are expected to vote based on what they honestly feel a flash deserves, not on whether they think the flash will pass or be blammed. While Barracks members are proud of their high ranks, and are eager to compete with others, a high B/P score means nothing if achieved through petty point-whore voting, and any member who admits to doing so will be removed from the organization.
2. Stopping Portal abuse.
Numerous stolen, malicious, and unsuitable flash are submitted to the Flash Portal every day, and it is our job to ensure that as many of them are removed as possible. Members are expected to report any suspicious flash to the Barracks, including any evidence or doubts that they might have, and only whistle something if they are sure, beyond a reasonable doubt, that it is whistle-worthy.
Just as with B/P, points mean nothing if achieved through inappropriate means. There should be no blind rush to whistle a flash that is merely suspected of wrongdoing; it's better to let an uncertain case go by rather than wrongly whistle an innocent submission. If evidence of wrongdoing is discovered after a flash passes judgment, we can always (and will always) take the appropriate action.
In the case of a beyond-reasonable-doubt rulebreaking flash, members are encouraged to share their results.
3. Cleaning up the review system.
Members are expected to be familiar with the review guidelines and whistle abusive reviews when they come across them, and report severe cases of abuse to a review mod. Additionally, members are expected to write helpful reviews, offering constructive criticism and remaining civil even when the author refuses to do so. We must set a good example for other Newgrounders, in hopes that they will improve their own reviews as well.
4. Setting an example for others to follow.
Barracks members are expected to post intelligently, contributing to threads rather than merely dropping a one-liner opinion on it. Flaming, spamming, and other ban-worthy behavior is strictly prohibited, and extreme misbehavior will lead to removal from the EGB.
Members are also expected to act civilly towards all Newgrounders. You are expected to be helpful and patient when dealing with newer members, whether simply showing them the FAQ or explaining more complex concepts that they do not understand. Concepts such as fair voting, intelligent posting/reviewing, and keeping an open mind are essential for newer members to learn, and we are just the ones to teach them.
For those with more experience, you are expected to show respect and understand that they may, in fact, know more about Newgrounds than you do, even if you're a seasoned veteran. This applies both to fellow Barracks members and Newgrounders in the general population.
Members are expected to put reasonable effort into any flash or audio submissions, and be careful with who they become Portal Buddies with. We are quite generous with our definition of reasonable effort; examples of unacceptable submissions would be static images, single frames, ridiculously small loops, or purposefully bad music. Anyone submitting rulebreaking content would, obviously, be removed from the Barracks.
5. Not starting shit.
As mentioned above, the Barracks has no enemies beyond those who break the rules of the site. Our roster has included current and former members of various flash groups, including the Clock Crew, Barney Bunch, and Kitty Krew, and we are open to anyone willing to follow our principles. Barracks members are expected to be civil to others and not start fights, and anyone found to be starting shit with anyone, even if they deserve it, will be removed. You are representing the Barracks with your actions, and if your actions do not reflect our principles, you will not be a part of the organization.
6. Remaining active with the group.
Barracks members are expected to remain reasonably active in the thread, as well as with their duties. Those who are inactive for long periods (months) may be removed from the roster at any time, and rollcalls are occasionally sent out to all members to determine who is active. Members who expect to be inactive for some time due to IRL reasons (such as school, employment, vacation, etc) should inform the Barracks in advance.
*****
At 5/1/17 12:08 PM, Tezman58 wrote: I've been looking at this for a while now, each time gaining interest. How do I join and what is required of me? If someone explain everything to me I'd be grateful, who knows one day I may be accepted into the Elite Guard Barracks. Until someone replies, out.
Our CBO is correct. The minimum requirement to enter into the ROTC program is Portal Security rank, 400 total B/P. This can be achieved in less than a month with appropriate dedication, but I would ease yourself into it. Pushing too hard lends to mass voting, which is the exact opposite of what we stand for here in the Barracks. If you're truly interested in joining, a consistent effort every day to vote fairly and encourage positivity in the Portal will get you where you need to be.
My personal recommendations on becoming an exemplary recruit:
Make an effort to vote on 10 UJ entries daily. It may not seem like much, but it very quickly adds up. Most importantly, remember that the points are not your aim. Vote fairly.
Leave reviews on entries you most enjoy or feel need improvement. Setting a good example is important. Be courteous.
Flag rule-breaking submissions only. You don't want to lose points. If you're looking to improve your whistle rank, you may try poring through Unscouted Audio. It's a relative treasure trove so long as you recall what is rule-breaking and what isn't.
When you post, avoid one-liners or padding your post count. Exceptions are reporting rule-breaking flash. Hard to say much in that case.
I'm running out of characters. Anyway, hope to see you on the roster some day, maggot!
Your source for monthly music producer freebies here // Take My Cymbals // ALL my big sample projects, FREE
I do professional audio critique & commissions. Catch me on YT and X! If you got music, I'll playlist you!
At 5/1/17 09:37 AM, byteslinger wrote: Out of curiosity, have you changed your user name? You've been around for a while, but your name isn't familiar.
I've had this username for about ten years, I think. I'm certainly not as active on the forums as I used to be so I'm not surprised that you don't recognize me.
At 5/1/17 03:02 PM, EDM364 wrote: I would have no qualms about having you fight alongside us in the Portal, a resounding yes, provided you maintain active status.
Sounds good!
In the meantime, please review the Manifesto, FAQ, and Code of Conduct, which I will append below.
Will do!
At 5/1/17 03:02 PM, EDM364 wrote: @Byteslinger, please review this post and see if it is to your satisfaction.
Will do...
At 5/1/17 07:46 AM, GUTHRIE wrote: I guess it's about time that I request admission.Alright, maggot, let's see.
Level 60. That takes dedication. Impressive.
Gold whistle, more than adequate. Clearly good at finding rule breaking content.
Captain, steadily improving. Good.
Review quality could use some improvement. Actually could use more reviews overall.
Posting quality, lot of one-liners, but the majority I'm seeing are helpful. Your post rate shows you only post when you have something of interest, value, or sufficient validity to post, such as your level-up posts in Wi/Ht.
Reviewing your profile, I would have no qualms about having you fight alongside us in the Portal, a resounding yes, provided you maintain active status. If there are no objections within the next 24 hours to your recruitment, CBO EGSC @Byteslinger will formally induct you into our ranks.
I concur with @EDM364 - you are definitely EGB material. Once you agree to the Code of Conduct, we will have a quick discussion among the officers, and unless something odd creeps out of your closet (which happens to me once in a while, but I just toss a squirrel or possum at it, and it crawls back in, happy to eat) you should be good to go. Stay tuned.
In the meantime, please review the Manifesto, FAQ, and Code of Conduct, which I will append below. This is the first time I've had to dig out my old copy, courtesy @SlashFirestorm cerca 2009. I have updated it to reflect changes across the site. Commander @Byteslinger, if you have a better copy, please.
Mine's just about the same. We'll go with yours, since you've made adjustments for the current Barracks conditions.
*****
Here is our abbreviated Code of Conduct. Read it, learn it, and post again with confirmation of your understanding. If you can't abide by these principles, say so.
*****
Abbreviated - imagine what the full text looks like!
OFFICIAL MEMORANDUM - ELITE GUARD BARRACKS COMMUNICATIONS
From: CBO EGSC ByteSlinger
To: ALL BARRACKS PERSONNEL
Date: 2-May-2017
RE: Appointment to the Intelligence Operations Officer position
It is with great honor that I announce that Commander @Decky has accepted the position of Intelligence Operations Officer with the Elite Guard. His dedication, hard work and attention to details makes him a perfect fit. His primary function is to keep track of habitual abusers or threats to Newgrounds, and alert us (and the moderators) of any increase in organized threats to the Portal.
Congratulations, Commander!
*Salutes*
At 5/2/17 09:47 AM, byteslinger wrote: Once you agree to the Code of Conduct, we will have a quick discussion among the officers, and unless something odd creeps out of your closet (which happens to me once in a while, but I just toss a squirrel or possum at it, and it crawls back in, happy to eat) you should be good to go.
I have read and agree to uphold the EGB Code of Conduct.
At 5/2/17 09:47 AM, byteslinger wrote: unless something odd creeps out of your closet (which happens to me once in a while, but I just toss a squirrel or possum at it, and it crawls back in, happy to eat)
Somehow, I get the feeling you and I might be a little unhinged, Commander. After all, I laughed.
Mine's just about the same. We'll go with yours, since you've made adjustments for the current Barracks conditions.
Relief. Was hoping I wouldn't have to find the unabridged version and condense that down. I may work on this one a bit and try to cut out any superfluous redundancy.
Abbreviated - imagine what the full text looks like!
You should have seen the draft!
At 5/2/17 10:10 AM, GUTHRIE wrote: I have read and agree to uphold the EGB Code of Conduct.
Excellent. Then discussion among officers may commence. Shouldn't take long.
Until then, duty calls. I'm off to the Portal. RECO out! *Salutes*
Your source for monthly music producer freebies here // Take My Cymbals // ALL my big sample projects, FREE
I do professional audio critique & commissions. Catch me on YT and X! If you got music, I'll playlist you!
Barely edited Dragon Ball Super footage:
-
Unpublished Submission
OFFICIAL MEMORANDUM - ELITE GUARD BARRACKS COMMUNICATIONS
From: CBO EGSC ByteSlinger
To: ALL BARRACKS PERSONNEL
Date: 2-May-2017
RE: Open Forum - Admission of Captain @Guthrie to the Barracks.
Captain Guthrie has requested admission to the Elite Guard. After preliminary discussions with RECO @EDM364 , and his acceptance of the Barracks Code of Conduct, we are now opening up the floor to all Officers and members for general discussion regarding his admittance. This discussion will remain open for 24 hours or so, which should give all members an opportunity to voice their opinion, concerns or support.
As a point of process, barring any objections to the contrary, Captain Guthrie's admission will be formalized after the discussions are closed. You may post your replies here, or if you wish to keep it private, please PM RECO @EDM364.
Thank you for your attention - your opinion counts, and we want to hear it.
As you were...
*Salutes*
*ahem*
A moment, comrades?
I've conducted an unsolicited and yet highly real and legitimate background check on our candidate """Guthrie""" (if that even is his real name). Here's what I've found.
-Shares name with Woody Guthrie. Possible relation?
-Also rhymes with Gucci. Coincidence?
-Despite well over a thousand playstation trophies, Gucci/Guthrie only has one platinum. For shame. It's like he doesn't even care about internet stats.
-It's statistically likely that at least one serial killer has visited NG. Can anyone prove it's not him?
-Have you ever seen Gucci and Wadefulp in the same place? That's what I thought.
-I bet he's not even a real captain. Where's his ship?
And most egregious of all...
-Our last.fm compatibility is merely 'high' as opposed to 'super'
In light of this new information we might still let him in, but it's a hella tough call.
At 5/2/17 02:36 PM, byteslinger wrote:
Captain Guthrie has requested admission to the Elite Guard. After preliminary discussions with RECO @EDM364 , and his acceptance of the Barracks Code of Conduct, we are now opening up the floor to all Officers and members for general discussion regarding his admittance. This discussion will remain open for 24 hours or so, which should give all members an opportunity to voice their opinion, concerns or support.
GUTHRIE has great stats, signed up over 10 years ago, has helped the site by reporting rule breaking submissions here before, and writes decent reviews.
I think he'd make a fine new addition to the Barracks.
It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.
At 5/2/17 02:36 PM, byteslinger wrote: Captain Guthrie has requested admission to the Elite Guard.
I've always been intrigued by his user pic, an odd looking thing. Though I guess I can't hold this against him.
I have no problem with his admission.
At 5/2/17 03:26 PM, Jackho wrote: -Woody Guthrie.
-Also rhymes with Gucci.
-only has one platinum.
-killer?
-That's what I thought.
-I bet he's not even a real captain. Where's his ship?
-Our last.fm compatibility is merely 'high' as opposed to 'super'
...I was going to say yes, but now... I dunno...
We don't want any... y'know, surprises...
At 5/2/17 02:36 PM, byteslinger wrote: RE: Open Forum - Admission of Captain @Guthrie to the Barracks.
I support this. He doesn't have very much recent activity at all but he seems like a good guy from what I've seen.
At 5/2/17 03:26 PM, Jackho wrote: *ahem*
Yes?
A moment, comrades?
Go ahead...
I've conducted an unsolicited and yet highly real and legitimate background check on our candidate """Guthrie""" (if that even is his real name). Here's what I've found.
Do tell...
-Shares name with Woody Guthrie. Possible relation?
Or Arlo Guthrie, the famous folk singer...
-Also rhymes with Gucci. Coincidence?
Actually, that really doesn't rhyme at all unless you're Sean Connery and you're drunk. But, go ahead, I'll humor you.
-Despite well over a thousand playstation trophies, Gucci/Guthrie only has one platinum. For shame. It's like he doesn't even care about internet stats.
Playstation is over-rated anyway. He's probably spending quality time on a kick-ass gamer rig when he's not here.
-It's statistically likely that at least one serial killer has visited NG. Can anyone prove it's not him?
Or not you...those who cast the fear are usually the ones to be feared.
-Have you ever seen Gucci and Wadefulp in the same place? That's what I thought.
Actually, I've never seen Wadefulp and Chuck Norris in the same place, either.
-I bet he's not even a real captain. Where's his ship?
Lost it on a bet while playing Playstation online.
And most egregious of all...
-Our last.fm compatibility is merely 'high' as opposed to 'super'
Oh, shit, then why are we even wasting our time?
In light of this new information we might still let him in, but it's a hella tough call.
Letting him in is an easy decision. However, on days like today when you forgot to take your meds, reality takes on a whole new meaning for you. I understand that shortly after chow time, you were seen standing in the middle of the courtyard wearing nothing but a rubber-duckie inflatable toy and liederhosen, trying very hard to convince the MPs that, yes, in fact, you could indeed smell the number purple.
Notice: The views of Master Sgt. Jackho are not necessarily those of the management. But that's okay, we love him anyway...
Guthrie gets my vote. I'm surprised it's taken him this long to apply. He'll be a great addition to the Barracks.
At 5/3/17 05:00 AM, NekoMika wrote: Just a video recording of photos on a pc.
He's got 2 under judgement. Asandir and I decided to leave them up for blam, but we are watching, should they pass. They're good blam candidates, tho. We'll see in a bit. :)
