At 5/9/09 04:53 AM, IrishGun wrote:

At 5/8/09 06:16 PM, conscript1 wrote: Lordi i i i i i i i

asdf

So, hey guys. Did much happen while I was gone?

You've always been here Ryan.

Beers
Bud
Nattens Madrigal.
I'm happy.
Or I would be if MA were down.
Trying to find what the best Horna album is.
Cunts.
I love you guys.

Oh god oh god. GloryBlizzard post not good when high.

Entering mother fucking freak out mode.

FUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

GoryBlizzard. You are fucking more br00tal than any fucking thing ever.

Ulver and weed and freaking out over that shit.

NEARLY TRYING TO DROWN OH FUCK.

I HAVE SO MUCH HOMEWORK

GORYBLIZZARD YOU ARE BLACKER THAN THE BLACKEST BLACK TIMES INFINITY

You can have half.
Of NOTHINGGGGGGGG

At 5/9/09 06:00 AM, PenisClown wrote:

At 5/9/09 04:53 AM, IrishGun wrote:

At 5/8/09 06:16 PM, conscript1 wrote: Lordi i i i i i i i

asdf

So, hey guys. Did much happen while I was gone?

You've always been here Ryan.

? :|

oh wow, the 5FDP album I bought is brilliant, I'm especially loving the lyrics, a lot of them seem to sync up with my life at the moment..lol, convenient.

I decided I'm gonna emo it out and buy some of those striped emo fingerless gloves, mainly because one my friends is a die-hard metalhead, and despises anything emo, so naturally I intentionally switch my walkman over to The Used, or BMTH whenever he's in earshot, just to piss him off :) (yes he deserves it)
I might even buy an Aiden shirt XD lololol.

also, there's a girl who seems to like emo/scene guys...so I'm hoping I'll be able to get her attention more...lulz

And Blizzard, you're a good guy, you'll get through this, I'd be lying if I said I knew exactly how you feel, but I have problems somewhat similar to you, although I'm yet to experience the shadow people, I look foward to it for some reason..eh.

Hang in there mate, speak to your family perhaps? just tell (don't ask) them to sit down with you, and just spill your guts, wouldn't that help?

Suicide is something, you should never. do. you don't need it.

At 5/9/09 06:00 AM, PenisClown wrote: You've always been here Ryan.

...What?

At 5/9/09 07:50 AM, IrishGun wrote:

At 5/9/09 06:00 AM, PenisClown wrote: You've always been here Ryan.

...What?

Get him!

At 5/9/09 08:40 AM, smeagol1 wrote:

At 5/9/09 07:50 AM, IrishGun wrote:

At 5/9/09 06:00 AM, PenisClown wrote: You've always been here Ryan.

...What?

Get him!

I don't get it.

At 5/9/09 08:47 AM, IrishGun wrote:

At 5/9/09 08:40 AM, smeagol1 wrote:

At 5/9/09 07:50 AM, IrishGun wrote:

At 5/9/09 06:00 AM, PenisClown wrote: You've always been here Ryan.

...What?

Get him!

I don't get it.

We got you red handed. ^.^

At 5/9/09 08:57 AM, smeagol1 wrote:

At 5/9/09 08:47 AM, IrishGun wrote:

At 5/9/09 08:40 AM, smeagol1 wrote:

At 5/9/09 07:50 AM, IrishGun wrote:

At 5/9/09 06:00 AM, PenisClown wrote: You've always been here Ryan.

...What?

Get him!

I don't get it.

We got you red handed. ^.^

Oh yeah, that.

Don't get your hopes up, I'm not going all bitchy again. :)

At 5/9/09 09:08 AM, IrishGun wrote:

Don't get your hopes up, I'm not going all bitchy again. :)

:D oh baby!

When is Immortals new album come out?

At 5/8/09 07:09 PM, GoryBlizzard wrote: Gah...

I know I haven't responded to your posts as much as the others, but PLEASE try and find a way to make your life better. What's happening now is not good at all and although others have seconded Bill's thoughts already, I have to go with what he's said about the situation.

At 5/9/09 09:08 AM, IrishGun wrote: Oh yeah, that.

Don't get your hopes up, I'm not going all bitchy again. :)

Oh yes, the days when we all accused you of being Ryan. I remember having some fun with that, but I'm not up to bringing that joke back.

At 5/9/09 06:00 AM, PenisClown wrote:

At 5/9/09 04:53 AM, IrishGun wrote: So, hey guys. Did much happen while I was gone?

You've always been here Ryan.

We don't need that shit again.

At 5/8/09 07:09 PM, GoryBlizzard wrote: Gah...

I need to talk to you about this stuff.
I'm going to PM you, since I think this is a bit personal.

GoryBlizzard... I don't get you...
why is it that you wouldn't have any future? what in the world would make you any worst than any human being? You are just like anyone, but you need some help, and you need to find the good way out of your problems, and find the path you want to follow in your life.

Killing yourself, or let yourself down would be a big mistake.

You think you are pathetic? I'll give you at least one quality that you have, maybe two :P
You know a lot about music, which is great, knowing stuff and being interrested in arts is a sign of a great intelligence. And you are also very good at expressing yourself. You know how to explain how you feel very weel. You have some potential dude, you just can't see it... or maybe you just do not want to see it.

And none of us ever told you it was going to be easy, no one in here is judging you. In fact I can see at least 3 or 4 persons in here, caring about your actual situation.

Hello everyone. Havent been here in awhile lol.
My band recorded a video of us practicing.
Check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/user/Blackdoom13

At 5/9/09 11:16 PM, Blackdoom13 wrote: Hello everyone. Havent been here in awhile lol.
My band recorded a video of us practicing.
Check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/user/Blackdoom13

LOL!!!!! I liked the tunes, couldn't really hear your growls but I liked it.

epic funny!

At 5/10/09 10:24 AM, smeagol1 wrote: LOL!!!!! I liked the tunes, couldn't really hear your growls but I liked it.

epic funny!

Lol thanks man. Yeah the PA was to far and that camera couldnt pick it up good.
But thanks dude. We'll more than likely do another pretty soon. I'll let ya know.

Also, I love Silencer. At first I was like wtf but now Im like yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaah. lol
Later guys.

Can I sacrafice the spammer to Wotan?

At 5/10/09 12:24 PM, smeagol1 wrote: Can I sacrafice the spammer to Wotan?

Yeah, but make it painful.

At 5/10/09 01:22 PM, greensucksbluerules wrote:

At 5/10/09 01:17 PM, jew193 wrote:

At 5/10/09 12:24 PM, smeagol1 wrote: Can I sacrafice the spammer to Wotan?

Yeah, but make it painful.

Make him listen to Atreyu.

I prefer we use old school blues music. I had to ride in my freinds car while listening to that shit. I about killed him.

Since Týr's new album is coming out later this month and I plan to get it, I'm looking into getting the other albums I've yet to get. I won't get Land just yet due to the mixed reception I've heard, so out of How Far to Asgaard and Eric the Red, which one should I get next?

At 5/10/09 04:06 PM, batman64 wrote: Don't go knocking the old school blues.
Them there be the roots son.

It's smeagol, what do you expect from him?

At 5/10/09 04:18 PM, Bahamut wrote: so out of How Far to Asgaard and Eric the Red, which one should I get next?

Eric the Red.

I guess you have Ragnarok, then?

At 5/10/09 03:50 PM, smeagol1 wrote:

At 5/10/09 01:22 PM, greensucksbluerules wrote: Make him listen to Atreyu.

Oh God, they suck ass. Vampire goth rock alt shit would definitely teach him a lesson.

I prefer we use old school blues music. I had to ride in my freinds car while listening to that shit. I about killed him.

Old school blues is awesome dude, it's the roots of rock and metal. There are many influential guitar players that play the blues and it has soul in it.

Ugh...wow.

Whenever I'm in a extremely, extremely deep and seemingly hopeless depressive slump such as the one I'm in right now, usually I tend to listen to the same several songs over and over again.

I called my 17-year-old brother not too long ago and decided for some reason that it would be a good idea to bitch to him...and unfortunately he didn't really seem to care about my complaints. Fuck.

I think he's probably sick of me or something, but I don't think I can blame him too much, because I'm getting sick of myself too.

At 5/8/09 07:40 PM, Centurion-Ryan wrote: Read something, or watch something, that puts a smile on your face. Say to yourself that life isn't so bad, that you can still smile no matter how much shit you're going through. Then talk to someone you trust about it. And don't bullshit yourself, there are people who you can trust, and people who love you.

Bleh, maybe I'll take your advice under advisement.

At 5/9/09 04:29 PM, Kiddmeizter wrote: I need to talk to you about this stuff.
I'm going to PM you, since I think this is a bit personal.

Well, it would be nice if I got a PM from you, Kidd, but you haven't sent me anything so far.

I used to get lots of "don't kill yourself" PMs from 2006 to 2007 (which I still have saved), from people both inside and outside of this thread. Some of those people don't really come here anymore.

At 5/9/09 05:22 PM, HeavenDuff wrote: GoryBlizzard... I don't get you...

Ugh...that's all right, most people don't.

why is it that you wouldn't have any future?

I thought I answered this question pretty clearly in my last post. Guess I didn't.

Anyway, the reason I said that is because throughout the course of my life, I've failed at just about everything I do. I'm a natural failure and a fuck up and I have been for close to 20 fucking years. Basically, the amount of time that I've been around. No, I don't want to be this way, and I hope no one does...

I really don't see myself as anything but a bum, and that's being dead honest. I'm not good enough at anything to have a career (I lack both the drive and the knowledge), and I've missed a lot of work lately. It's just pathetic. I'm pathetic.

Something else I want to add: I don't want to make it seem like everything you and everyone else is telling me is falling on deaf ears. Mostly everyone here, yourself included, have echoed the "seek help" line over and over again. And I'll try to...soon, because I agree that I need a lot of fucking help if I am to continue living. But of course, that can only come when I'm financially able to, and when I have enough energy in me. Until then, I'll use whatever outlet for stress that's available to me...

Also, I promised myself that I would go out a couple of nights ago near the ocean side...turns out, that didn't end up happening since, again, my energy levels are almost fully depleted. I was too tired to move around except when I really had to.

what in the world would make you any worst than any human being? You are just like anyone, but you need some help, and you need to find the good way out of your problems, and find the path you want to follow in your life.

To answer the first question...well, I feel like I pretty much answered it previously.

Killing yourself, or let yourself down would be a big mistake.

Bleh...you're not the first person to tell me this. More like the 500th.

Despite my past attempts at trying to kill myself, somehow I'm still here. Each and every time I attempted suicide, I always had second thoughts after the attempt started.

You think you are pathetic? I'll give you at least one quality that you have, maybe two :P

If you can...

You know a lot about music, which is great, knowing stuff and being interrested in arts is a sign of a great intelligence. And you are also very good at expressing yourself. You know how to explain how you feel very weel. You have some potential dude, you just can't see it... or maybe you just do not want to see it.

None of that is ever going to get me anywhere in life.

And I truly don't think I'm that good at self-expression. Especially when I'm offline in a typical conversational setting. You'll only truly understand this if you know me in real life, and obviously, no one here does.

And none of us ever told you it was going to be easy, no one in here is judging you. In fact I can see at least 3 or 4 persons in here, caring about your actual situation.

And so do I. I've already acknowledged that before, haven't I?

Look, I read every single post directed towards me, although I don't reply to everyone. And I really do feel a bit guilty for putting all of you through my long-winded and self-deprecating bitch-fests.

Gory dude! Why so sad man if you need someone to talk to you can hit me up man. Kidd is most likely out of internet due to Icelands economy. Have you gone to seek help? I had to when I was a sophmore. I had massive anger issues. Im not that angry anymore, But every other day I'll feel so negative towards others.

As for the blues, It's not my cup of tea. Never will be ether. Blues makes me violent even more so. The rest of the day I wanted to strangle his catholic ass into submission. But it was all worth it, we went and saw the new x men movie and I got 1349's- Beyond the apocalipse.

1349-Blood Is The Mortar

At 5/10/09 12:24 PM, smeagol1 wrote: Can I sacrafice the spammer to Wotan?

Bitch you best not be calling me a spammer. :P

Also, I've been meaning to get some Electric Wizard again.
I had Dopethrone and will get that one again but what others should I get?

At 5/10/09 08:06 PM, Blackdoom13 wrote:

At 5/10/09 12:24 PM, smeagol1 wrote: Can I sacrafice the spammer to Wotan?

Bitch you best not be calling me a spammer. :P

noez, the n00b who came in here makeing spam.

At 5/10/09 08:10 PM, smeagol1 wrote: noez, the n00b who came in here makeing spam.

Oooooooooh. Ok then. lol

At 5/10/09 05:21 PM, GoryBlizzard wrote:

At 5/9/09 05:22 PM, HeavenDuff wrote:

why is it that you wouldn't have any future?

I thought I answered this question pretty clearly in my last post. Guess I didn't.

Anyway, the reason I said that is because throughout the course of my life, I've failed at just about everything I do. I'm a natural failure and a fuck up and I have been for close to 20 fucking years. Basically, the amount of time that I've been around. No, I don't want to be this way, and I hope no one does...

Well, telling yourself that you are a failure is not going to help you win. That is just a fact...
Just think about it... how are you going to success in anything if you don't think you can...

You are not any worse than anyone in the world, and that's another fact.

I really don't see myself as anything but a bum, and that's being dead honest. I'm not good enough at anything to have a career (I lack both the drive and the knowledge), and I've missed a lot of work lately. It's just pathetic. I'm pathetic.

I'm not very good at keeping a job. I'm kind of lazy when I feel that what I'm doing is useless or that no one respect me for what I can do. But I found myself a nice job as a camp counselor and I also work part-time for my friend's dad.
There are many many MANY different kind of jobs out there, nothing you can't achieve.

And you are saying that you are being "dead honest", but as you have low self-esteem, I consider that you are probably the worst person to judge on your abilities.

You know a lot about music, which is great, knowing stuff and being interrested in arts is a sign of a great intelligence. And you are also very good at expressing yourself. You know how to explain how you feel very weel. You have some potential dude, you just can't see it... or maybe you just do not want to see it.

None of that is ever going to get me anywhere in life.

You don't have to fit in to be intelligent. You don't have to fit in to be someone. I, just like a lot of people, am someone who doesn't easily fit into the system or even not at all. It's pretty hard for me to find any king of motivation to go at school and before recently, I never thought I could find a job I could do well.
It's not cause you are not "normal" that you are a shit.

And I truly don't think I'm that good at self-expression. Especially when I'm offline in a typical conversational setting. You'll only truly understand this if you know me in real life, and obviously, no one here does.

and how is the internet not a part of your life?
I've always had problems with this term "real life". How is the internet not real?
The Metal Hell is THE place that helped me the most in getting that far in my passion, music.
So I consider this conversation that I have with you, to be REAL just like if I would be in front of you.
Maybe you are not good at expressing yourself in "real life", but you are definitely good at doing it on the internet.

Let me tell you a little something about myself :)
When I was younger, I really was... shy... with girls. I couldn't really talk with any girl seriously, and I really was not fitting in at school, at least for the first 3 years of high school (here in Quebec, high school is 5 years). So I really was not that lucky with girls :P
I then started to talk to girls on the internet, and it really was a lot easier for me to be myself. That's how I met my first girlfriend, and actually... it was the same for the girl I am with right now...
Then... my self-esteem level started to raise, and today I know how to express myself pretty well in "real life".

And none of us ever told you it was going to be easy, no one in here is judging you. In fact I can see at least 3 or 4 persons in here, caring about your actual situation.

And so do I. I've already acknowledged that before, haven't I?

Look, I read every single post directed towards me, although I don't reply to everyone. And I really do feel a bit guilty for putting all of you through my long-winded and self-deprecating bitch-fests.

What you are doing is not that worse for us... it's for you that it is horrible. Putting yourself through this... everyday...

It's already not easy for you... why do you have to add to the weight on your shoulders?

Dudes, the new Heaven and Hell album is fucking killer! Anybody get a chance to listen to that shit?