lets be honest here
the graphics were tight hands down. its just the story line.
The problems:
-I had no fucking clue what was happening, the chapters got me confused and all. I closed after a while.
-Need to work on storyline.
-Omfg... sound. music sucked.
The good:
+Graphics
+animation
Sir you are a god at animating. Just a shitty ass script writer.
Good Job.
That was a very impressive flash. However, the music got very old, the story needed more flesh to it, and since the background was so great, I don't understand why you didn't take the time to do a good job on some of the animals in the story, it would be easy with your talent to fix them (particularly the sheep.) There is no need to be so mystic about the mythology you have in it, it's clear that it comes from something the way you wrote it, and would probably add to the story if you explained it better. Also, in the beginning where the view shifts around from place to place and animal to animal, more than anything else that was just confusing and I honestly believe you did it only to show off. Sorry, but it's my honest opinion. If you want to show other animals in a story about fish and peanuts, expand the thesis or make a different flash with a different thesis.
You have potential, I'll give you that.
Bravo, it seems to me you have surpassed the level that many flash artists only hope to reach. You are very skillful. However, your art seems to be too narrow. Your backgrounds, flowers, and three dimentional fish/insects were beautiful, absolutely. However, some of the other things were lacking. To tell you the truth, the eyes and mouths of the fish didn't even fit your style.
You have much skill, and just about everything in that movie had its own sort of beauty, but that is one of the problems. Your art didn't always fit together. For one, the sheep looked quite nice, actually, but they were of a completely different style of art, and ruined the feel of the whole image they were in.
Another thing is a small lack of carefulness was evident in a few places. For one, the legs on the deer, or whatever they were, was jerky and you could tell it was multiple moving objects in flash. Also, one or two of the backgrounds that you must have zoomed in or out of were pixelated, which was very unattractive. The movements of certain animals was also awkward. The fish sometimes jerked instantly into motion, too fast so that you had completely ignored acceleration. I couldn't even tell why they were moving, pay close attention to the way fish move. The prancing of the deer I thought lacked proper vertical depth, for some reason it reminded me of a car with hydralics, the way their heads bounced up and down but never came below or too near their hips.
Another thing was that the story bothered me. It was jerky and nonsensical. If you explained why the fish turned into a peanut of all things it could have been great. Also, you split the parts up into chapter like segments, but you made them too close together, too great in number, and they didn't cut out for long enough. It just felt like a narrator who can only speak in two word sentences, kind of reminded me of movie commentary on DVDs, which always feel awkward and ridiculous. Next time make those chapter transitions make the whole screen black for a few seconds, maybe four or five. Also, don't make them so close, and make sure the music either fades out and dies, or fades out and then very slowly back in. Gentle faint background music during the transition would be perfect. I also think that the transitions you made could have been pulled off, except that it was too much of a change too fast, it hit you hard, not smoothly.
Overall it was good but lacked style. Practice, if everything fit stylistically, it would be a 10 no doubt. (And remember, music and sound, and when things do what is important! Make things move with the music or give them a faint sound! The snapping fish chasing the main fish was wierd looking because it didn't at all fit the music.)
Just a question
You did an awesome animation job and all. . . just to tell which message? Peanuts got a story??? That's weird. Some people try to make others happy, laugh, get sad, think of a situation.... but this one... I think the message was lame. . . sorry that's my point of view. Just make a better plot and everything shall be better.
WOW
Extremely well done story, I haven't found fish in my peanuts before but once again extremely well done, your a good writer, great story, really well done, and even with out having to say a word, I loved it, nice work, seriously.