More recap coming...
Match 4 - Cool vs. Johnny Useless vs. Mama's Boy
I know he's not a mama's boy anymore, but it's still funny. Also, all the fans at Hooters managed to start a chant saying "Where's your Mama?" So funny.
Also, here's another note...is anyone else fucking exhausted by Johnny Nitro's entrance theme? Sure, MNM was okay to deal with, but now it's just annoying. Also, Nitro blocks our view from Melina when she does her leg-split thing into the ring. The Hooters fans actually booed when it happened because he was in the way of the camera shot. LOL.
Anyway, the match was rather blah, with the exception of a few good spots, mostly by Carlito. Nitro looked like he slipped up when he was thrown out of the ring (over-the-top-rope style) since he hit his upper back against the edge of the ring on the way down. As Shelton Benjamin and Nitro play outside the ring for a bit, Carlito decides to administer justice via a nice Moonsault from the turnbuckle all the way onto Nitro and Benjamin outside the ring. Carlito also had an awesome off-the-back roll-up onto Benjamin, but Shelton kicked out.
The true spot of the match was when Nitro was hung upside down on the turnbuckle. Carlito gets up onto the top turnbuckle over Nitro, planning to do some move. Shelton rushes over and gets Carlito when he's up there and proceeds to set up the Superplex. Johnny Nitro comes to and decides to assist Shelton in giving Carlito the Superplex, as he grabbed Shelton by the waist and assisted him down. It was quite the interesting thing to see.
The match eventually ended via a Backbreaker from Carlito to Shelton, which pretty much set him up for the pin. Johnny Nitro, unfortunately, capitalized and won.
So lame.
Result: Johnny Nitro def. Carlito and Shelton Benjamin, acquires Intercontinental Title
Vince McMahon Personal Segment
Vince decides to pep-talk Spirit Fingers, everyone's favorite group. He mentions that DX is a "disease" and Spirit Fingers better be the cure. They then run out all psyched to go out of his office and hang around for another hour until the match actually starts.
Vince then decides to inspect the penis pump on his table which was given to him by DX last week. He picks it up, thinks, then proceeds into the bathroom with it. Ten seconds later, we hear an explosion, and he comes out with green dye all over his face. It was awesome.
Match 5: Edge vs. RVD
Now, here's a thought. The entrance stage was comprised of a big giant "V" in the center (above the entranceway) with two big titantrons to each side. Now, one awesome gimmick that they could have done here was to have a big giant "R" on the left titantron and a big giant "D" on the right one. You can see how awesome this could be.
Anyway, the match was rather standard, but there was a lot of flipping going on. Some match highlights to note: RVD tried to spin kick Edge from the edge of the ring, but ended up missing and hitting himself in the nuts via the security wall. Ouch. Soon thereafter, Edge Powerbombed RVD onto the security wall as well.
Later in the match (back in the ring), RVD had Edge on the mat and was ready to do the Five-Star Frog Splash, but RVD couldn't do so in time. Instead, he tried to spin kick Edge, and hit the referee. Edge naturally goes for the belt right away, but RVD kicks him while holding it. Edge got bloody after that kick. In the end, Edge ended up going into a turnbuckle and destroying Lita (who was, naturally, holding a chair). RVD hits the Five-Star Frog Splash and picks up the win.
Good. Maybe this will be the end of Edge and Lita. Lita needs to stop being a slut and actually do some fucking wrestling for a change. Edge has had help enough.
Result: RVD def. Lita
The EC-Dub Segment
And yes, that's what I'm calling it. The chanters do NOT say the "W", they say "Dub." Anyway, Paul Heyman is in the back with the ECW lumberjacks (I guess). People were so fucking loud after they say Heyman and ECW wrestlers that I couldn't hear a fucking word that was said. This is the complete transcript as I heard it:
*GARBLED* *GARBLED* *GARBLED* *GARBLED* ...John Cena... *GARBLED* *GARBLED* *GARBLED* *GARBLED* *GARBLED* *GARBLED* *GARBLED* *GARBLED* *GARBLED* *GARBLED* ...ECW!
*Everyone cheers*
That's about it.
Match 6: Kane vs. Kane
Ah, yes. Vince McMahon's continuation of this storyline. His big bright idea to convince us that this whole thing was not just a push for See No Evil.
Anyway, Kane comes out and looks all mad. After that, Kane comes out and comes swinging immediately. Despite that, Kane was dominating early on. After that, Kane was able to make a nice counter and lead the fight for a bit. After this, a whole bunch of wrestling happened.
More importantly, I realized that I still have plenty of hot wings, but no more beer. I mean, I can tolerate my capsaicin well enough, but I can't take 5 or 6 strips of three mile island without any beverage at all...
...what's that? The match? Oh, right.
Result: Kane won.
the fake one.
Match 7: Sabu vs. John Seen-It
Now, John Cena got interesting for about three days after he lost the title to RVD at ECW:ONS. He was taking a lot of hits from ECW guys and showed the intestinal fortitude to take the damage. However, it's old already. I really was NOT looking forward to this match. Why? We KNEW that Cena would win. We just knew it! An sure enough, he did.
Some match highlights...Cena's head wasn't as mighty as Sandman's stick. Cena was then was set up by the ECW lumberjacks on a table with a kendo stick on his chest. However, before Sabu could get there, Cena hit him as Sabu came up to the ropes. Soon after, he F-Ued Sabu onto the edge of that table.
Result: What the fuck?
RVD giving props to Cena?
Again, people were LOUD in Hooters, so it was hard to hear. However, RVD basically said he respected Cena and wanted to give him a title shot. WHY? During this lovely dialogue, Cena mentioned that the spinner belt was "his life."
This means two things:
1) John Cena has no life.
2) Cena can be killed by destroying the spinner belt. I suggest we try to destroy it. It might actually fucking end this gimmick of uselessness.