I agree that new programming languages are simpler to learn than new real world languages, it was very easy for me to learn the basics of simple languages like PHP because I already knew conditions, variables, arrays, operators, etc from AS2. But still I find that "functional" languages, or whatever they're called, have a very different structure from what I'm used to do in AS2. for example this factorial code I saw on wikipedia. Such an efficient way of doing it, yet so different from AS.
factorial n = if n > 0 then n * factorial (n-1) else 1
I'll send you an email if I have problems. You're pretty much the only person I turn to when I have questions about computers / math, or when I want to discuss existentialism with someone :P