=== OFFICIAL BARRACKS MEMORANDUM ==
TO: ALL EGB MEMBERS
DATE: 25-SEP-2022
SUBJECT: New Member Announcement
It is with great pleasure that I announce the addition of our 2nd newest member this week, EGSFC @Freaks-heart. He's been very active and helpful in the EGB Forum, and has made great strides in improving his knowledge and understanding of the Elite Guard while patiently waiting for an answer to his request to join.
Due to the diminishing short-term memory retention of a certain Chief Barracks Officer, EGSFC Freaks-heart's request was, in fact, noted on the back of a utility bill envelope, which then eventually got shredded, along with the memory that I had to do something important. For that, I do apologize. Please do not read into the delay of your acceptance as anything more than "oh shit, I forgot about that!"
(For those who are new here, I'm old enough to be your mother - or grandmother, for the real young ones - and they say that the second thing to go when you get old is your memory. I can't remember what the first thing was)
But I digress (which I do quite a bit of). Let's all give EGSFC Freak-Hearts a hearty welcome into the Barracks, making us stronger with 24 active members to date. Welcome aboard, soldier! *SALUTES*
Please report to EGS @ADR3-N for your room assignment and blam rifle issue. Odds are you'll be getting a room in the east wing, and I'm pretty sure EGM @EchoTense01 got that electrical short all worked out. But I'd still be careful turning on the TV and the room light at the same time. If you smell smoke or ozone, there's a fire extinguisher in the hall. Also, I'd be careful of who you follow into the head - certain members really enjoy their tacos, but somehow they manage to convert that tasty treat into weapons-grade mustard gas. We've already found EGSC @Lizzardis passed out in the hall, unable to reach his room after EGSC @Fro sat on the porcelain throne for 35 minutes. There are additional facilities in the west wing, but do not use the commanding officer's lounge, as that is grounds for potential disciplinary action - or possibly a very bad wedgie.
We're a fun bunch here, and I hope you enjoy your new position with the Elite Guard.