What's the worst thing you've seen in your days working in the prison ILC?

At 4/7/10 05:29 PM, SlntCobra1 wrote: What's the worst thing you've seen in your days working in the prison ILC?

Well idk have seen a lot of weird and unusual stuff. But probably the worst one was walking up on two of them sexing up each other. Being an all male prison was kinda gross actually. But other then that they are grown men that act like babies all the damn time.

I'm glad that when the site went down it was only for a short time, I thought my browser was fucking up LOL. But then it came back again. Anyway well done on reaching Staff Sergeant HeavenDuff the same rank as me. Hopefully you level up quicker then it takes me! I have been on this badge for months now. Is Pico day the end of this month?

Welcome back Krev!

And happy birthday Coop!

At 4/7/10 10:17 PM, phantomlassuk wrote:

Is Pico day the end of this month?

It's on the 30th I do believe which is going to be good for everybody cause it will breath life into the portal and then can all get to those levels that are within reach. I just got to corporal the other day and about 800 points off of sgt. But all things considered I have gotten like almost 200 b/p points in just a short amount of time.

At 4/8/10 12:34 AM, I-Love-Caitlyn wrote:

At 4/7/10 10:17 PM, phantomlassuk wrote:

Is Pico day the end of this month?

It's on the 30th I do believe which is going to be good for everybody cause it will breath life into the portal and then can all get to those levels that are within reach.

Yeah, because that last B/P rank is just out of my reach at the moment :P

But all things considered I have gotten like almost 200 b/p points in just a short amount of time.

Define a short amount of time... I've managed that in just over 3 days, which is pretty good.

Still, no rest for the wicked - time to get my editing done for my piece of writing.

At 4/8/10 12:34 AM, I-Love-Caitlyn wrote: It's on the 30th I do believe which is going to be good for everybody cause it will breath life into the portal and then can all get to those levels that are within reach.

Yeah, I'll be glad when it gets here. Pico Day is one of those rare days, at least in my experience from 2008 and 2009, that the Portal is full of good stuff worth a Save, rather than shitty stick movies and really bad Madness tributes.

I just got to corporal the other day

Ah, congrats on that.

and about 800 points off of sgt.

Still a distance, but shouldn't be too hard if you go fast. At least, if you're going as fast as you say, it won't be much at all

But all things considered I have gotten like almost 200 b/p points in just a short amount of time.

I've been the opposite for too long. I spent 2009 slacking off... And as a result I don't think I ranked up through all of 09. That changes today, as I'm like 5 or 6 away from the next rank. I can't believe how much time I wasted, stupid fucking TV Tropes! And the Touhou didn't help either.

At 4/8/10 08:10 AM, Coop83 wrote: Define a short amount of time...

Little over two days really. But guess that's because i'm on here so much and getting everything in the portal and it probably all adds up to something about that in 2 or 3 days worth.

Where is everyone? its sure quiet in here no new posts for two days. Talking of b/p mine been better still got a long way till I get my next badge. I level up at the end of this month level 35. The time goes by so quick. Reviews I'm slow at two months since last one. Anyway off topic anyone sick of the ads at the top of the page?, one really annoying one is for some online RPG called Grepolis set in ancient greece.

Yes, it's been really quiet here - as for me, IRL I've been enjoying the nice weather and a visit from my cousins. They came up from Tampa to go to a wedding, and dropped by to say "hello" yesterday and today. So, I've been doing a bit of socializing, and every once in a while sneak into the bedroom to check on the laptop and snag a few views and votes. It's been nice and relaxing these past days, and I hope that everyone else in the EGB is having as good a weekend (or better) as mine has been!

*Salutes*

PS to phantomlassuk - those banner ads do get annoying - but I guess it beats paying for access here on Newgrounds, huh?

At 4/10/10 10:19 PM, byteslinger wrote: It's been nice and relaxing these past days, and I hope that everyone else in the EGB is having as good a weekend (or better) as mine has been!

I've spent all day today trying to clean the metric ton of disease-ridden garbage that was once gardening equipment in my back yard because my retarded mother thought it would be a good idea to randomly buy about 50 plants with nowhere to put them. Oh, and it's automatically my job to look after them now too. She didn't even ask if we needed them, could actually use them, or if I wanted to clean up another of her hair-brained garden messes.

God I need to move out. The SECOND I find a job, I'm fucking gone!

PS to phantomlassuk - those banner ads do get annoying - but I guess it beats paying for access here on Newgrounds, huh?

Ad-block is fun. I don't really like using it, but if the douchebags that buy ad space on NG insist on uploading those stupid, flash-heavy ads that slow your browser to a crawl, I've little choice about using it anyway. My internet just doesn't work with those things piling on the extra bandwidth demands.

So far my weekend has been pretty bad. The most interesting thing I've done the whole day is get B/P points, which is sad. Most of my friends play a musical instrument and even if they aren't in a band they get together from time to time to play some music and stuff. There's nothing wrong with that, but I don't play any instrument so I feel left out sometimes. Those of my friends who play instruments got together today and the ones who don't just don't want to go out or do anything fun, so I've spent the whole day alone D:

At least my friends and I are going to the mall tomorrow, maybe we'll watch a movie or something. It should be fun :)

Actually I've done something more interesting than B/Ping all day long. I've found this website called OrigamiTube which has some origami tutorials and I've done a couple of things (i.e. I finally learned to make a crane).

And yes that was a bunch of random stuff but I'm really bored :(

At 4/10/10 10:29 PM, Sheizenhammer wrote:

At 4/10/10 10:19 PM, byteslinger wrote: PS to phantomlassuk - those banner ads do get annoying - but I guess it beats paying for access here on Newgrounds, huh?

Ad-block is fun. I don't really like using it, but if the douchebags that buy ad space on NG insist on uploading those stupid, flash-heavy ads that slow your browser to a crawl, I've little choice about using it anyway. My internet just doesn't work with those things piling on the extra bandwidth demands.

Yes those ads are annoying, I think that if there were simpler (i.e. still pictures) more people would actually look at them and maybe click them.

Also, those who don't visit our private forums may want to do so because there are a couple of discussions about idiot-buster's return and Eaglerock being kidnapped by ninjas.

At 4/10/10 10:19 PM, byteslinger wrote:

I hope that everyone else in the EGB is having as good a weekend (or better) as mine has been!

Well I have been having to work on my whole weekend but it's really not that bad with all things considered. So how is everybody doing?

Well you meet the badge requirement. You certainly have a very good idea of what is abusive and what is not as per your whistle. It's going to be Eagle or Coop's call as to accept you or not. I'm just the first on the scene.

At 4/11/10 04:48 PM, Yamor wrote: Private First Class Yamor, requesting enlistment sir.

Official rules state that you must read this and agree to it. Please don't quote the entire thing.

First, I will present you with the shortened code of conduct for the Barracks, along with links to the relevant FAQ's on our forums. You must read them, understand them, and post here again confirming that you accept those principles. A simple "yes, I agree" will be sufficient. This process serves two purposes:

1) Ensuring that you're not a "drive-by applicant" who asks to join and then never comes back, and

2) Ensuring that you know how we operate so there won't be any complications in the future, such as "wait, we're not supposed to be mass voting?".

After you agree to the code of conduct, the Barracks community will discuss your qualifications and decide whether to allow you into the group. Our requirements aren't too strict; beyond the main qualifications of 2500+ B/P and a Bronze Whistle or better, we'll be looking for sufficient post quality (low number of one-liners, intelligent posts that contribute to the topic), helpful reviews, any potentially problematic flashes, stuff like that. After discussion and a vote, I'll make the final call and PM you with the results. Assuming that no objections are raised, the process usually takes a day or two.

Here is our abbreviated Code of Conduct. Read it, learn it, and post again with confirmation of your understanding. If you can't abide by these principles, say so.

*****

1. Voting fairly.

This is the foundation of the Elite Guard Barracks. All members are expected to give every flash a fair vote, regardless of who made it or what their group affiliations are. We do not target any flash group, not favorably or in opposition; our only enemies are those who break the rules of the site, not those who merely bend them.

Everyone has a different definition of quality, and all members are expected to vote based on what they honestly feel a flash deserves, not on whether they think the flash will pass or be blammed. While Barracks members are proud of their high ranks, and are eager to compete with others, a high B/P score means nothing if achieved through petty point-whore voting, and any member who admits to doing so will be removed from the organization.

2. Stopping Portal abuse.

Numerous stolen, malicious, and unsuitable flash are submitted to the Flash Portal every day, and it is our job to ensure that as many of them are removed as possible. Members are expected to report any suspicious flash to the Barracks, including any evidence or doubts that they might have, and only whistle something if they are sure, beyond a reasonable doubt, that it is whistle-worthy.

Just as with B/P, points mean nothing if achieved through inappropriate means. There should be no blind rush to whistle a flash that is merely suspected of wrongdoing; it's better to let an uncertain case go by rather than wrongly whistle an innocent submission. If evidence of wrongdoing is discovered after a flash passes judgment, we can always (and will always) inform Wade of our findings.

In the case of a beyond-reasonable-doubt rulebreaking flash, members are encouraged to share their results with the Newgrounds Police Department and the Newgrounds Department of Defense.

3. Cleaning up the review system.

Members are expected to be familiar with the review guidelines and whistle abusive reviews when they come across them, and report severe cases of abuse to a review mod. Additionally, members are expected to write helpful reviews, offering constructive criticism and remaining civil even when the author refuses to do so. We must set a good example for other Newgrounders, in hopes that they will improve their own reviews as well.

4. Setting an example for others to follow.

Barracks members are expected to post intelligently, contributing to threads rather than merely dropping a one-liner opinion on it. Flaming, spamming, and other ban-worthy behavior is strictly prohibited, and extreme misbehavior will lead to removal from the EGB.

Members are also expected to act civilly towards all Newgrounders. You are expected to be helpful and patient when dealing with newer members, whether simply showing them the FAQ or explaining more complex concepts that they do not understand. Concepts such as fair voting, intelligent posting/reviewing, and keeping an open mind are essential for newer members to learn, and we are just the ones to teach them.

For those with more experience, you are expected to show respect and understand that they may, in fact, know more about Newgrounds than you do, even if you're a seasoned veteran. This applies both to fellow Barracks members and Newgrounders in the general population.

Members are expected to put reasonable effort into any flash or audio submissions, and be careful with who they become Portal Buddies with. We are quite generous with our definition of reasonable effort; examples of unacceptable submissions would be static images, single frames, ridiculously small loops, or purposefully bad music. Anyone submitting rulebreaking content would, obviously, be removed from the Barracks and reported to Wade.

5. Not starting shit.

As mentioned above, the Barracks has no enemies beyond those who break the rules of the site. Our roster has included current and former members of various flash groups, including the Clock Crew, Barney Bunch, and Kitty Krew, and we are open to anyone willing to follow our principles. Barracks members are expected to be civil to others and not start fights, and anyone found to be starting shit with anyone, even if they deserve it, will be removed. You are representing the Barracks with your actions, and if your actions do not reflect our principles, you will not be a part of the organization.

6. Remaining active with the group.

Barracks members are expected to remain reasonably active in the thread, as well as with their duties. Those who are inactive for long periods (months) may be removed from the roster at any time, and rollcalls are occasionally sent out to all members to determine who is active. Members who expect to be inactive for some time due to IRL reasons (such as school, employment, vacation, etc) should inform the Barracks in advance.

(FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO NOT QUOTE THIS WHOLE GIANT THING)

At 4/11/10 07:28 PM, SlntCobra1 wrote: It's going to be Eagle or Coop's call as to accept you or not. I'm just the first on the scene.

Forgetting someone?

Just kidding dude, suppose with me being somewhat of a EGB ninja lurking in the shadows at the moment it's only natural to forget about me.

At 4/12/10 12:33 AM, Yamor wrote: In response to the above rules that were directed toward me so that I may understand how things operate around here I will answer with the bare minimum seeing as it ensures direct understanding and comittment, I will now proudly state with pride...

"yes, I agree"

Well, in saying this it seems that I am the newest member.

Good to see that you're enthusiastic, however before you become a member the current EGB members must vote on whether you should be accepted. Voting thread is here, speak now or forever hold your peace.

At 4/12/10 03:41 AM, RohantheBarbarian wrote:

At 4/11/10 07:28 PM, SlntCobra1 wrote: It's going to be Eagle or Coop's call as to accept you or not. I'm just the first on the scene.

Forgetting someone?

Just kidding dude, suppose with me being somewhat of a EGB ninja lurking in the shadows at the moment it's only natural to forget about me.

Yea, you tend to pop-up like Slash nowadays. Ya durn idjit! Seriously, other than your alt, R-T-B, which also oddly enough stands for:

Return
To
Base

Where the hell have you been? You're another one of my good pals on here on NG.

Speaking of "forgetting someone", since when is Puddin(or any other low-ranking EGB member) given the go-ahead to start the recruitment process?

At 4/12/10 08:52 AM, SlntCobra1 wrote: Speaking of "forgetting someone", since when is Puddin(or any other low-ranking EGB member) given the go-ahead to start the recruitment process?

Dear God, did you just ask that question?

That's not really an official start to the recruitment process - handing out a leaflet to someone in the street is hardly a job for the Generals :P

Posting the rules bit can be done by any member of the Barracks, we don't mind. Just let one of us guys start up the voting thread, that's all.

Easy, boys. It's all good. I think we're just a little jumpy because we haven't heard from EagleRock in a while.

Serious question: in his absence, who makes command decisions?

According to the last officer list dated 2 October 2009:

Executive Officers
Chief Barracks Officer---EagleRock
Lieutenant Chief Barracks Officer---Phantom
Second Lieutenant Chief Barracks Officer---RohantheBarbarian
Emergency Operations Officer---SlashFirestorm

wouldn't that be Phantom and/or Rohan? Or is it someone else?

Second serious question: anyone have any updates from EagleRock? Is he ok?

Finally, last serious question: Aren't we due for a roster roll-call soon?

*Salutes*

At 4/12/10 09:31 AM, byteslinger wrote: Serious question: in his absence, who makes command decisions?

I can fulfil that section, but we could do with an election / role call once more.

Executive Officers
Chief Barracks Officer---EagleRock
Lieutenant Chief Barracks Officer---Phantom
Second Lieutenant Chief Barracks Officer---RohantheBarbarian
Emergency Operations Officer---SlashFirestorm

wouldn't that be Phantom and/or Rohan? Or is it someone else?

Phantom is even less active than EagleRock.

Second serious question: anyone have any updates from EagleRock? Is he ok?

Nothing, but hasn't he B/Ped lately?

Ah, thanks Byte. Also, Eagle is fine, he's still having to re-adjust his internal clock. But I do talk to him when I can. I just need to figure out which days he works and which ones he doesn't. I do know he does have alternating days or something.

No need to get so uptight Coop, it was a completely legitimate question.

Finally leveled up! Now just have to work towards my next b/p rank which should come a lot sooner then my next lvl but who knows how long it will take me to get that. But depositing every day and just not thinking about it guess would get it pretty quick.

Hey everyone, it's been sometime! My university exams are coming up, but once summer hits, I'm hoping to become an active member of the Elite Guard once again!

Until then,
Private First Class Zornkatzu
[JESUS has my rank ever gone down since I left! :(]

At 4/12/10 02:32 PM, SlntCobra1 wrote: No need to get so uptight Coop, it was a completely legitimate question.

I'd be interested to hear your description of "up tight" - I really didn't think I was being so.

Anyway, some sunshine out there, it's currently about 7 Celcius out there, I'm off for some sunburn!

At 4/13/10 08:04 AM, Coop83 wrote: Anyway, some sunshine out there, it's currently about 7 Celcius out there, I'm off for some sunburn!

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

You know you're in England when it's about 10 degrees and everyone's topless. :P
I shit you not, around here (and up in Newcastle) I've seen people in shorts and little else when it's sunny, regardless of the temperature. "5 degrees? Sure, it's sunny after all; why not go for a sunbathe?"

Now, before I give the impression that England is a paradise for pervs watching 18 year old girls in bikinis whenever the sun comes out, I'd like to make it clear that the ones donning the stupid sunbathing outfits are usually the ones who've been doing it for years and years. Ergo: leathery, pumpkin-legged old farts are the only ones you've got to look at here. The 'normal' people come out later in the year when it's not suicidally cold.

(Also: the sun almost never comes out here, so it's hardly a haven if you're into wrinkly old people either.)

At 4/13/10 08:04 AM, Coop83 wrote:

At 4/12/10 02:32 PM, SlntCobra1 wrote: No need to get so uptight Coop, it was a completely legitimate question.

I'd be interested to hear your description of "up tight" - I really didn't think I was being so.

Well, it just seemed that way to me, as you know it's really hard to convey one's emotions in what they type over the internet.

Anyway, some sunshine out there, it's currently about 7 Celcius out there, I'm off for some sunburn!

Fine, freeze your balls off, see if I care!

At 4/13/10 08:35 AM, Sheizenhammer wrote: The 'normal' people come out later in the year when it's not suicidally cold.

Speaking of which, I have a co-worker who is 16 and still in high school, he wears shorts and a t-shirt when it is like 20 degrees Fahrenheit here in the states. I'm in a coat, pants, and a t-shirt under my coat and I'm wearing wool lined gloves. WTF?!

At 4/13/10 08:35 AM, Sheizenhammer wrote:

At 4/13/10 08:04 AM, Coop83 wrote: Anyway, some sunshine out there, it's currently about 7 Celcius out there, I'm off for some sunburn!

I guess if you're a polar bear or a penguin this could be considered a heat wave...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I hate it when he does his evil laugh. At least he's not holding a white, Persian cat and is wearing an eye-patch.

You know you're in England when it's about 10 degrees and everyone's topless. :P
I shit you not, around here (and up in Newcastle) I've seen people in shorts and little else when it's sunny, regardless of the temperature. "5 degrees? Sure, it's sunny after all; why not go for a sunbathe?"

General rules of going topless:
1) If you take off your top, and you can kick your own boobs, topless isn't for you
2) If you take off your top, and no one notices, put it back on.
3) If you're a guy and take off your top, and men stare at your boobs, put it back on.
4) If you take off your top and your white skin blinds everyone on the beach, put it back on
5) No matter how natural it is, no one wants to see stretch marks from your 5 natural births.
6) If you lie on a beach blanket topless, and people think you're being attacked by two small pigs, put your top back on
7) If you take off your top and children laugh at you, put it back on - and get away from the kiddie pool.
8) Don't play volleyball on the beach topless - you'll give yourself a black eye

I'm sure there's more... ;)

Now, before I give the impression that England is a paradise for pervs watching 18 year old girls in bikinis whenever the sun comes out, I'd like to make it clear that the ones donning the stupid sunbathing outfits are usually the ones who've been doing it for years and years. Ergo: leathery, pumpkin-legged old farts are the only ones you've got to look at here. The 'normal' people come out later in the year when it's not suicidally cold.

In some cultures, these leathery, pumpkin-legged old farts were revered and considered royalty. Fortunately, those cultures no longer exist, except for a small tribe of pilgrims in Norway.

(Also: the sun almost never comes out here, so it's hardly a haven if you're into wrinkly old people either.)

England - Nature's way of saying "perpetual depression" (and before you go off hating on me, YOU brought up the fact that the sun rarely comes out. It's the same for our city Seattle - rains all the time there, too. So, we're even!)

At 4/13/10 10:01 AM, byteslinger wrote: I hate it when he does his evil laugh. At least he's not holding a white, Persian cat and is wearing an eye-patch.

Now how do you kno-... oh god, *looks around for cameras* where are they this time!? How many perv-o-meters am I registering on right now?!
(Probably none since you'd have to be really messed up to perv on something this damn ugly, but there's always one... isn't that right BYTE!?)

England - Nature's way of saying "perpetual depression" (and before you go off hating on me, YOU brought up the fact that the sun rarely comes out. It's the same for our city Seattle - rains all the time there, too. So, we're even!)

Oh, by all means rag on this worthless little rain-soaked rock. I couldn't care less about it if paid to. ;)
You know, it's kinda funny. Back when I found YouTube trolling humorous (years ago) I could never get a reaction out of English people... or anyone besides Americans when I made fun of countries:

'Find English pop culture show; post "Fuck England" in comments; wait'
- I'd get one or two pseudo-intellectual pricks leaving huge-ass, multi-comment replies about how I'm secretly a UK lover and I'm sad for thinking this accomplishes anything. Then someone posts "don't feed the troll", and everyone takes notice and ignores it.

'Find American pop culture show; post "Fuck America" in comments; wait'
- 20+ badly spelled n00b-ragings of butthurt teenagers, usually along the lines of "YUO ASHOLE IMA FIND Y00 ADN BEET THA SHIT OUTT OF YOUU !!!!!1111". And no-one ever took any notice of the 'Don't feed the troll' guy's post this time.

What can I say; I suppose there is such a thing as being taught to love your country too much. :P

At 4/13/10 10:27 AM, Sheizenhammer wrote: I suppose there is such a thing as being taught to love your country too much. :P

Yeah excessive patriotism is a real pain in the arse and sadly something a lot of people, especially Americans and Australians, are guilty of, presumably because it's drummed into their heads every day from a young age how great their country is. I bet a lot more English people would be patriotic if they had to sing the national anthem in school and at sporting events as well as recite bits of 250 year old literature about how great said country is.
One thing I've always loved about the English is their ability to make fun of themselves. Nobody and nowhere is perfect so why be so uptight about every little insult? And at the end of the day the country you live in is just a piece of rock in a certain position on the planet, I can't see why anybody would bother getting so worked up over it. Especially seeing as most countries aren't that great anyway.

Fleek is gone his account is now history I looked in the the Obituariesthe other day, and found all his stuff gone. I wonder why it took so long for his account to be deleted. I knew that he broke many rules on his user page from like two years ago Wade Fulp, said why did he have sixty alts? He was a massive spammer.

Anyone played the sequel to Breaking From the Bank!?

• 

  Escaping the Prison

  by PuffballsUnited

  The sequel to 'Breaking the Bank'. Help him escape from prison.

  Game

  3,492,153 Views

  (Everyone)