You have talent
I'm very pleased with the story.....and i liked the animation as well. Its kinda sad that flash isnt perfect. It could even be on tv if the story were longer. this is a good flash and you obviously worked hard on it, but its missing that certain flow. maybe if the sound didnt cut out in someplaces, and if the animation was a little better, this would deserve a perfect ten. Theres a lot of places you can go with this too. i look forward to more work from you. By the way....watch the brackenwood stories. They're all highly ranked. that is awesome animation. and if that had a storyline as good as yours, it would be the best damn thing i've ever seen anywhere.
Good Job