So yeah, that was a hideously crappy raw. From the total abortion of Brodus Clay to Chris Jericho herping around the ring, that was just terrible.

CM Punk's match and the opening match were, in my opinion, the only things that were good about tonight.

At 1/9/12 09:46 PM, SCTE3 wrote: I remember seeing Brodus Clay do a couple of matches early last year. Why the sudden belated redebut?

Who the hell is Brodus Clay? You mean the fat guy who was ADR's sidekick?

Avie, please don't make me one of the mindless WWE fans you've labeled. I Love Daniel Bryan Danielson, I know of his work in the indies and in Japan. Ring of Honor kind of has a weird system. They don't really care how his mic skills are, if they're decent and don't sound like Alex Riley, they'll do okay. Danielson worked his ass off on the mic, he used to be mediocre, but he's really good and surely is better than COUNTLESS other talents I could name that have been in the WWE Main Event scene. Randy Orton being one of them. And ROH's current champion Davey Richards.. he's an amazing wrestler, but he's ROH's answer to John Cena. I want Kevin Steen to beat him for the belt and be awesome because he's Kevin Steen.

But, he's being booked to shit right now and he's making the best of it, because he's not an idiot. The idea is he's turning a bit heel. They don't want to turn Big Show heel because... well, once you dress as Santa Claus, can you really ever go back? But, creative knows he's a loveable guy and was put in a movie because of it and squashed the SES into non-existence. But, WWE doesn't trust the guy with a belt at this point in his character. He's been WWE Champion, WCW Champion, WWECW Champion and he got a 1 minute reign as World Champion. I think he doesn't mind, he's here to be loveable and put over talent. Hell, they were going to have Show tap to CM Punk before creative meddled and berried Punk. But, this is a different time, they can trust the independent stars and the internet fanbase (THAT'S US BY THE WAY, EVEN IF WE ARE FUCKING RETARDED A LOT OF THE TIME!) I'm sure at the Rumble or on the Smackdown they are going to make Show tap. I think the Rumble because who knows what'll happen until the Smackdown spoilers are up tomorrow. But I don't think they'll do that... It's no DQ so it gives Danielson a lot of options... none of them make him look like a big threat that can overcome the odds like that. I few chairs and he can keep the belt, unless Henry interferes and makes the guy look weaker. But while they have faith in the guy, they don't really know how to book him. Some time is needed, but they are at least going to have him hold the title till if not past Mania. THe crowd in Corpus Christi was awful. Horrible they barely gave a fuck about what was going on tonight, but I know that the northern states and Canada would love the guy.

And Mudkips, please, get your head out of your ass, all you know about Danielson is really what you know him as in Daniel Bryan. Hell, the background information you gave has been mentioned on WWE TV. The American Dragon Bryan Danielson had a stellar heel run as champion where he called himself the best wrestler on the earth, saying that he's really to good to perform in front of these pricks, that every time the ref counted on a rope break he would yell "I HAVE TILL 5" he has fucking character, if the WWE gave him time and let him do what he wants they would see a really good character. Right now, he;s stuck in a rut, while he;s the world champion, he;s the world champion on s few conditions, namely the fact that Henry had been hurt and that they don't want Show to be champion so they had him cash in because he's a proven and reliable worker who had to go through the rub of being an independent star going to the WWE, being really talented and already having a following. The WWE doesn't like this. They want to make stars, they want their farm system and their gimmicks and their style. Which is a problem because it doesn't help much. It's gotten a little better but now they are trying to make the indy guys and mold them into an original wwe concept... Atleast they do have some Japanese folk in FCW, which actually looks quite awesome if only for Ambrose and Rollins and Claudio and Ricardo. Course they really are stupid with the Divas division. And I wouldn;t call AJ a jobber... if they had any sense they would give her a storyline, but these assholes would do anything. There needs someone to step in and do a CM Punk shoot promo on the Divas division. It needs it bad...

Coles commentary IS a problem, it hurts ratings and because it is fucking NFL season (THE MOST BORING SPORT ON THE FUCKING EARTH IF IT WE'RE FOR BASKETBALL) ratings get lower everytime Cole starts burying people. You bury talent you make the audience not care, you actually talk about the matches and call what is going on then the audience cares. There's no need to keep droning on and on about the story during perfectly good matches. Hell, Mark Henry makes a better commentator than the commentators. This is bad. The only people who do suck at commentary more that the announcers themselves are the Divas who are not Beth and Natalya.

Anyway, Bryan is stellar, really stellar, if you can't get behind this you will be left behind, because frankly it's annoying to hear this this time in and time out. I thought it was trolling, but I guess it's blatent ignorance and being a fucking tool. Stop it. Wrestling is supposed to be fun remember that? If you don't look up Chikara and tell me how can wrestling not be fun. I disagree about this raw being bad because it was awesome, you guys are just too easy to be trolled, can you honestly believe that Clay will stay as the Funkasaurus from Planet Funk managed by Funkman Johnny Ace? Trolling at it's finest. Hell, Jericho's whole gimmick is that he's a troll. Start booing the man folks, then he will talk.

Jesus, I hate this club sometimes.

Hilarious and awkward RAW, it was too entertaining to really hate.

At 1/10/12 02:02 AM, MudkipsPiano wrote: Judging by that main event it's possible that Jack Swagger may win the Royal Rumble match.

Lol no. What that was is the continual burial of Punk and his title reign by sticking him in the mid-card. Well, I say burial, but it could just be the company is that stupid that they think not making him the centerpiece of shows hurts him and them.

And the Kane segment was just pathetic.

Yeah, all those segments with him last night were just utter garbage.

They need masked kane back to do what?

Apparently to give Super Cena a suitable super villain to fight. The mask is a better look for Kane, no question...but that's the only thing positive I can say for this return so far.

To tell the fans that when they say Cena sucks that they're talking about themselves? Really WWE? They seriously need to resort to that to get supercena back his fans?

It's not going to work. It's just pure garbage like this that guarantees Cena can't expand his audience beyond the women and kids he already plays to, and thus means if you don't have a kid who's a wrestling fan, you've got no interest or need to watch the program these days.

I think he should just be a silent monster but that's just me.

I don't hate the idea of Kane cutting promos, he's an effective promo. But not when he's asked to go on these 10 minute rambles he could have accomplished in 5 minutes, and the material he's given is overwrought dreck that these assholes think is like the second coming of Shakespeare. That's a big issue that WWE can fix anytime by going back to bullet points vs. full scripting.

o_O

RAW was bizarre.

First off, following along with everyone else's sentiment, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO BRODUS!? As soon as the word "Funkasaurus" was uttered, I had this hoooooooorrible sinking feeling. Part of me likes this gimmick, despite the fear of it going horribly south. Was this gimmick his idea, or Creative's? That's what I'm most curious about. We've seen gimmicks before that were really fricking absurd that were the result of the individual in question, not Creative; this just seems like one of those times. I'm willing to play along with it for the moment, just to see how far he can keep going with it before it possibly goes down the tubes. The only thing I can really take from this is that his in-ring skills haven't rusted whatsoever.

Second off........just what is this "Jericho can't even finish his goddamn sentence!!!!!" situation leading up to, here? Another sinking feeling again, although since it involves him, I have slightly more faith.

Third off, what the fuck are the morons in the booking department doing to Bryan? When there's more fans BOOING him than there should be, there's a serious, unacceptable problem - unless they're actually deciding to turn him full heel. Now THIS is what I'm actually pissed off about.

While Kane still does the 'big, creepy bastard' role well, yeah, same ol' speech again......

The best part was the HoF induction reveals, which says a shitload. Not like we didn't expect Edge to make it in this year - and rightfully so, of course, because he's more than earned his place. Oh, and the Punk/Swagger match was great also.

At 1/9/12 12:46 AM, aviewaskewed wrote: I'm gonna preface this by saying I've had a quarter of a bottle (the big 14 dollar kind) of Captain Morgan, but it's getting said anyway:

(another awesome drunken avie rant)

While I haven't had the chance to watch any of the indy promotions much, I've at least gotten the basic concept of there being something rotten in the state of Denmark regarding WWE's methods over the years, and that 90% of the problems all stem from that issue alone. I never saw Bryan's earlier exploits (but you bet I will the first chance I get), but I've seen enough of his actual in-ring ability to agree with the majority as to why he deserves to be in the business. It's funny that Duke brings up JoMo in comparison regarding promo cutting, when I've seen him do some great promos before; Bryan is in the same boat, really, in that booking has everything to do with it.

At 1/10/12 10:47 AM, MattTheParanoidKat wrote: I disagree about this raw being bad because it was awesome, you guys are just too easy to be trolled, can you honestly believe that Clay will stay as the Funkasaurus from Planet Funk managed by Funkman Johnny Ace? Trolling at it's finest. Hell, Jericho's whole gimmick is that he's a troll. Start booing the man folks, then he will talk.

Well, if it is trolling, then it's doing it's job, now, isn't it?

I hope you're right........

At 1/13/12 04:13 PM, MudkipsPiano wrote: I need a fuckin' petition to put Hornswoggle vs. Chris Benoit as the main event at WM XXVIII

Get real, we will all witness the Rock to tap out like a little bitch after Cena locks the STFU.

At 1/13/12 08:12 PM, Dream-of-Duke wrote: Get real, we will all witness the Rock to tap out like a little bitch after Cena locks the STFU.

Hey, hey, it's the STF! That U makes it a decidedly un-TV-PG acronym! We cannot have that kind of bullshit around here!

Also, I don't see Rock coming in to tap, this seems a clear AA into a pinfall situation to me.

Also yeah, Jericho is trolling, he WANTS the audience to get pissed at him. Whether he'll use that to go back to his character prior to leaving last time, or whether he'll use it to play a really over the top babyface like character who the fans boo and he seems honestly baffled as to why, I do not know. But it's Jericho and he always comes in with a plan so I trust him. I do think it'd be a good idea to get to whatever phase 2 of this is on Monday though (or fuck, at least say a word or two and then ditch...three weeks of not talking? Geez, I don't know if that'll really work out for him, especially as bad as things have been in WWE lately).

At 1/13/12 08:37 PM, aviewaskewed wrote: Also yeah, Jericho is trolling

I wish that the fans would keep cheering him no matter how bad the trolling gets, to me that would be the most entertaining thing.
Like when they are in Canada and he is trying to be super heelish to get the crowd against him but they still cheer regardless because he is Canadian.
Don't BOO Jericho!

I also like the idea of a "over the top face" that gets a heel reaction, it works so well because lately it has been the heels who get the biggest face reactions ( read RKO )
Thats the first time I've heard that idea for Jerichos return and I like it.
I just wish that somehow the vignettes from before his return connected to his character in ANY way!

At 1/13/12 09:26 PM, Shaun wrote: I also like the idea of a "over the top face" that gets a heel reaction, it works so well because lately it has been the heels who get the biggest face reactions ( read RKO )

That's because the fans don't want Hulk Hogan, they want Steve Austin or The Rock. But Vince refuses to go back to that because he has what he wants wrestling to be and he's willing to force it down the throats of everyone and anyone.

Thats the first time I've heard that idea for Jerichos return and I like it.

Don't get too married to it, I'm just speculating. I really don't know what his plan is to be honest :) I'm just positive it ends with some kind of a heel turn. To be honest this reminds me a good bit of Foley's heel turn in ECW, which if you have not seen I highly recommend tracking down a DVD or other collection of that run. The way he manipulated a "smart" audience and forced them to turn against a character that was so perfectly suited to that company was pretty goddamn masterful.

I just wish that somehow the vignettes from before his return connected to his character in ANY way!

Give it time, we're only two weeks in. I know WWE has basically trained it's audience to have ADD and expect a pay off immediately, but back in my day, we knew how to appreciate a slow build!!! We also walked 15 MILES IN THE SNOW to see our wrasslin'!

So.. Who thought turning Clay into Flash Funk was a good idea? This has stupid and short-term written all over it.

I don't mind Jericho trolling us as long as it leads to something. I'm just looking forward to seeing him in action again.

Did they really need to turn DB heel? I know it's still working its way towards that but it just doesn't seem right to me.

So I guess Slater is the new Chavo.... I can't sit through this crap with Hornswaggle again. Those will be segments that I switch channels.

At 1/15/12 02:11 PM, MudkipsPiano wrote:

By the way, I feel like Undertaker has a good chance of coming back and winning the Royal Rumble match.

I heard current plans are for Jericho to win..

Well, apparently, Air Boom are no longer the Tag Team champions, dropping the titles to Epico and Primo today in CA.

Absolutely horrible.

At 1/15/12 09:50 PM, Porkchop wrote: Well, apparently, Air Boom are no longer the Tag Team champions, dropping the titles to Epico and Primo today in CA.

Absolutely horrible.

What the fuck they lost it at a house show? I've never, ever seen that before

And Zack Ryder loses his championship?

What in the actual fuck are they doing to their champions?

Also, Cena vs Swagger looked like a Cena heel turn, or the precursor to one. Just saying.

Notes from tonight in no particular order:

-Ziggler still cuts some of the best promos in the business.

-JTG's jobber entrance reminded me how much I miss Cryme Tyme. Considering how badly WWE needs tag teams right now, they sure as hell could use them.

-Air Boom is seriously boring. Nice to see them giving some love to dark shows on a major show, though.

-Quasi-face R Truth is best R Truth

Damn, hit post too soon.

-Loving the hinting at heel Cena. You could argue that it's either a brilliant move or a boneheaded move on Creative's part. It gives the marks a taste of something that they really want.

-This angle with DBD and Show still feels a little weak. Show is too much of a babyface, no pun intended.

More like Chris Jeritroll.

The best part is when he stops and appears that he is about to say something, but then he just turns on his jacket and keeps walking.

The look on DBD's face after Jeritroll runs around, tags him in, and leaves without a word was just fantastic.

At 1/16/12 10:18 PM, Porkchop wrote: Also, Cena vs Swagger looked like a Cena heel turn, or the precursor to one. Just saying.

Really? Cause to me it looked like a case of the super hero being pushed into a "dark" place by his super villain opponent. If we think of this in terms of a story that was written by Paul Jenkins in 2004 which was a fight between Spider-Man and the Green Goblin, this seems similar:

In the story, the Green Goblin decides that instead of just flat out killing Spider-Man, he's going to fuck with him. Years ago both men found out each other's civilian identities and have been locked in brutal physically and psychological warfare ever since. The Goblin killed one of the great loves of Spider-Man's life by pushing her (Gwen Stacy) off the brooklyn bridge (now the GW). The Goblin goads Spider-Man, says he won't fight him, that he's going to prove to Spider-Man that he can make him do something he doesn't want to do, that every man has a breaking point. Spider-Man says a lowlife like the Goblin has no shot at it. "Five bucks and a pizza says I can Parker". So the Goblin goes to work. He attacks Spider-Man's best friend and recovering alcoholic Flash Thompson, beats him down, pours beer down his throat and puts him behind the wheel of a car that is then rammed into the school Spider-Man teaches at. Then gloats in their civilian identities about it. Then he goes on TV and blames Spider-Man for the Gwen's death saying that his attempt to save her with a single strand of his webbing broke her neck (which is basically true, but of course it omits the fact that he pushed her to begin with). By stories end Spider-Man and The Goblin have the big show down, Spider-Man beats him half to death, and when The Goblin goads him to finish it? Spider-Man refuses. Because see, his isn't a monster like The Goblin, and he won't disgrace Gwen's memory that way.

That's the story of John Cena and Kane right now, with a few tweaks. End of the day? Cena will beat Kane, or he won't only because he won't go to that dark place, and he'll have the moral victory of proving he didn't embrace hate and become the monster that Kane is. If you think this ends any other way, you are out of your mind and need to stop rooting for that heel turn that's never coming.

Also taking the belt off Zack Ryder was utter bullshit. No reason for that whatsoever, but the ending of RAW was great stuff and hopefully we're getting ready to wrap this Laurinitis crap...please WWE?

So basically, John Cena's the Batman.

Well, I can honestly say that I never considered it in that point of view, which is especially shameful considering my fondness for reading comics and their delightful little plots.

Then again, I could see him "embracing the hate" just to win and stop Kane's mind games. I mean, if Cena loses but sticks to his guns, I dont see Kane going all Heath Ledger as Joker and accepting Cena as an immovable object. It just seems like it would lack that finality that this feud needs.

At 1/15/12 02:26 PM, Jonny wrote:

At 1/15/12 02:11 PM, MudkipsPiano wrote:

By the way, I feel like Undertaker has a good chance of coming back and winning the Royal Rumble match.

I heard current plans are for Jericho to win..

Y2J vs Punk for Mania with the title on the line? Make it happen, Vince!

Oh cool, Evan Bourne got popped again on a wellness violation.

The WWE needs itself another good tag team stable. Hell, it needs like 3 or so. I mean, honestly. The people that just occasionally watch Raw/SD! dont give a fuck about Epico/Primo, it doesnt seem like any hardcore wrestling fans care about Epico/Primo, why the fuck were they the #1 Contenders to the tag titles? I mean, I understand why they have them now, but seriously.

They shouldnt have done Awesome Truth like they did. They could have sent R-Truth out any fucking way they wanted when he got popped for his violation and kept Awesome Truth as huge contenders for the tag titles.

Excuse my ranting, I took Benadryl for an allergy, and I get quite moody on it.

At 1/17/12 08:23 PM, Dream-of-Duke wrote: Y2J vs Punk for Mania with the title on the line? Make it happen, Vince!

Sorry, but I'm seeing Y2J vs. The Undertaker at WrestleMania.

At 1/18/12 12:22 AM, Porkchop wrote: Oh cool, Evan Bourne got popped again on a wellness violation.

And that's probably going to be it for anything significant for Bourne. Two strikes means you get put in the jobber pile. Having a second strick so soon to me seems like he has a real problem here. They should just let Kofi be on his own and let him focus on being a singles wrestler.

Jeritroll makes me laugh.

While I think Swagger is a good choice for a U.S. Champ, I feel it was too soon to take it away from Ryder. Lets just hope they get to have some decent matches out of it.

WWE confirmed to support SOPA.

See ya guys, I'm outta here.

At 1/20/12 04:22 PM, MudkipsPiano wrote: This is completely unrelated to anything wrestling, but whenever I'm feeling really depressed, Brodus Clay's theme song makes me feel SO MUCH BETTER

Shoot watching Brodus Clay wrestle makes me feel better.

At 1/20/12 04:27 PM, MudkipsPiano wrote: Basically, all the rich companies. WWE fits that category pretty well.

WWE has been trying to enforce it's copyrights and shut down illegal downloads and streaming more then most other media companies I've heard of. So this is kind of a "and birds go tweet" situation when I hear they're in support of SOPA.

As far as Bourne, second pop? Mandatory rehab and 60 days on the shelf and yeah, that I would say is the end of Air Boom and any meaningful push in WWE. You can't blame them for it either, he gets another strike it's a mandatory firing so what can you do with such a guy? They're really insane if they push him at this point (Regal placed himself in the same boat in 08). That's not even factoring in how fast this second pop came. Yeah, Bourne is basically done in WWE at this point I'd say. Get ready to pull the Matt Sydal name out of moth balls and see what TNA and the indies might have for you when the WWE deal ends, however it ends.

At 1/18/12 12:22 AM, Porkchop wrote: Oh cool, Evan Bourne got popped again on a wellness violation.

I told you that this guy was a fuck-up just like Jeff Hardy and would continue to fuck up until he was shown the door.
Fire him already, he will never learn.

At 1/21/12 10:54 PM, MudkipsPiano wrote: Oh and for the record, last night's Smackdown just proved, yet again, that Cody Rhodes is one of the best heels in the business.

Let's hope that the WWE does not fuck up this time like they usually do.