Rook's RAW Review!
A lukewarm show at best.
Test/Austin Altercation - I didn't much care for the way this played out. The should've played Test as the face and Austin as the heel. And, gee, god bless little Stacy. She'll forgive Austin, but she wouldn't forgive Test for ogling Torrie Wilson's Playboy spread? Priorities, woman! The BOSS fucking kicked your ass for NOT DRINKING BEER! Anyway, we have what may prove to be a cool Survivor Series Match. I hope Austin's team loses. This "Co-GM" stuff is bullshit.
The Dudley Boys def. Rene Dupree & Rob Conway - Was it just me, or does Conway make a better partner for Dupree than Grenier did? Anyway, nothing to exciting. Same old match, over and over. The RAW tag team division sucks. Let's bring over a Smackdown team to rejuvinate it. Maybe the Bashams? or how about the FBI? or maybe they could bring in Shannon Moore, since I hear he and The Hurricane were a great team in WCW.
Booker T def. Randy Orton - Bullshit. An average match, which started during commercials, i might add, and Orton walks out? Maybe thats fine for Christian, or even occasionally Jericho, but I refuse to accept it from Orton. It doesn't seem his style.
Jericho & Steiner def. RVD & Storm - Not as great as I expected. Steiner was the weakest link, but I still think he and Jericho made a good team. He brought the brawn, while Y2J brought the brain. Still, it's surprising this was a mediocre match considering the talent involved.
Women's Match - I didn't watch it. I think Victoria and Molly won, as I came back when Christian saved Lita. Last week when Jericho did it, it was cool, this week it was tacky. Its like Christian is just trying to be Y2J jr. Speaking of Jericho, don't walk Stratus Lane. Sure you'll get a bit of Stratusfaction, but as I've said, Jeff followed that route, a month later he was canned.
Ric Flair def. Maven - Look, I respect Flair, and the match was passable (best of the night, though with tonights show, thats no great accomplishment), but Maven has youth, speed, strength against Ric Flair's JOMB (Jiggly Old Man Boobs), I think he best retire from the ring, and stick to managing or commentating.
Kane Says Words! OMFG! AJAJAJAJA - Okay, Kane was good at selling that he's a nut case. However, why did they bother letting us know Shane was in the building if he wasn't going to come out? And the cops just seemed useless. Kane didn't do anything wrong. Why didn't they arrest Shane? He's an attempted murderer, for fucks sake!
All The Goldberg Bounty Shit - Mark Henry tossed Goldberg through a door. So what? Why didn't he finish the job? What, did the World's Fattest Man (not my own joke, sorry) get hungry and need his pre-dinner snack? He must have gotten confused when they said take out Goldberg. He obviously didn't hear past "Take Out". Whats the Colonel cookin' up today, Mark? Anyway, Jindrak and Cade had the right idea. Why fight Goldberg, when you can knock out Orton and run of with the briefcase? Still, they took their sweet time leaving the building. And why didn't the cops at the arena stop them? They fucking stole $100000! Anyway, HHH came back. WTF? I thought he was gone till Royal Rumble?
No One Won the World Title Match! - What a crappy match. Goldberg did nothing, and I refuse to believe that Michaels can be taken to the limit by an INJURED Goldberg. Maybe a healthy one (MAYBE), but not when he's supposedly in pain. Anyway, while I'm glad Batista is back (he is bigger than Goldberg, isn't he?) and I was overjoyed at what he did to 'Berg, they also ruined a match that Michaels should've won. I want a Triple Threat at Survivor series now, with Michaels vs. Goldberg vs. Batista. HHH can wait before he gets his next shot. But if Goldberg is on the shelf, so is the Title, so how does your plan work, Hunter? As I see it, now you'll have to wait LONGER before you can get back the title...
THE END, SO F*** OFF, FEWELS! HAHA! TO THE ROOKMOBILE!
