Rook's RAW Review!!!
I always love when a show starts off with the Highlight Reel. Especially a Highlight Reel featuring Eric Bischoff. I know not many people like him, but I think he's greatest. But thats enough Bischoff worship for one review. Of course, Stone Cold ruined it. I could see that stunner coming from a mile away. Can you say "Washed Up?" I knew that you could.
Anyway, to the matches:
The Dudley Boyz def. Test and Scott Steiner - ok the match was nothing special, so I'm just gonna talk about the aftermath. The whole Test/Keibler/Steiner angle seems to be getting a bit more interesting. I think, if they play their cards right, they can breathe new life into it and make it a cool angle again. My only complaints are that the chairshot Stacy gave was way to weak and phoney looking, and whoever wrote the match must have been a no talent hack. I mean, Steiner tells Stacy "You just cost me the TagTeam Championship.." Ok, if he was concerned about winning, why did he pull Test out of the ring when he covered D-Von, and why did he refuse to be tagged in? Someone needs to fire the guy who coreographed that.
Jindrak, Cade and Maven def. La Resistance and Rob Conway - This was a pretty decent match. I hope the fact that Jindrak and crew won is a foreshadow that these three will finally get a push. One thing made me laugh though: Before the match, Cade said some stuff about WW2. Okay, now, if things are like that, doesn't that make him and his pals Nazis? Think about it...
JR def The Coach - this match sucked. Where did JR learn to hit? From Stacy (see above)? At least when Coach whipped JR, it looked real. Also JR's "Stunner" looked so fucking wussy. Hey WWE, try to at least make commitments to your angles. One show with Al and Coach. Only one. Come on now. And a fucking ticket does not give a person the right to climb into the ring and drink beer! Whet the fuck was security doing? God, I hated this match on so many levels. JR is a great commentator, but a lousy actor.
Women Stuff - "Puppies are back!" Those three words filled me with so much anger. Fuck you King! Juust die, and never come back. Why didn't they do this segment before JR/Coach? I hate King so very very much. If you only knew the depth of my hatred for Jerry Lawler. Anyway, Victoria is hot, so its all good :D
Kane def. The Hurricane - finally, the Hurricane did somthing resembling heroic. To bad he didn't wait. I was curious as to what Kane would do to the kid (i'm a bad bad man.) When the match came, it was almost a squash match. After all, we all knew Hurricane didn't stand a chance.
Goldberg and Shawn Michaels def. Ric Flair and Randy Orton - ok, I'm going to cover HHH's offer in this too, because they sot of overlap. I hope his offer can lead to something good. Anyway, when they had the match, it was pretty good, because Michaels did most of the work. Thats about it for the match. Okay, so they use cool guys like Stevie Richards and Rodney Mack as cannon fodder, and give Mark Henry a push? Okay, first problem is if he wanted Goldberg, why not go for it? Why bloody up Shawn Michaels? And why have they recently taken to giving Michaels the shitty end if the stick? Anyway, i hope Mark wins. He needs that money for...(wait for it)...METAMUCIL! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I r so funneeeeee! I know both Goldberg and Mark Henry suck, but the WWE actually has a chance to do something good with this, so I hope they don't fuck up (which I know they will)
Rob Van Dam def Christian - this match was the best of the night. Both men put on one hell of a performance. The best moment was the Frogsplash off the top of the ladder, and when Christian moved, causing RVD to strike the ladder. Two world class athletes in a world class match. And of course, in the end, the right man one. Kudos. This one match almost made up for an otherwise god awful show!