Genuine question: who do I contact to get into the EGB officially?

Could it be this guy again ?

This is literally just an ad for some kind of drying apparatus.

It also has no animation in it.

I have no idea why anyone would upload this here.

Oh yes! I was gonna report that, but I completely forgot. Believe it or not, it's not the first time. We had a Chinese ad once... or a couple times. Something like that. I'm just imagining the conversations that went on:

Marketing executive 1: "So, where shall we market our new product?"

Marketing executive 2: "How about TV?"

Marketing executive 1: "Are you insane? Nobody watches television anymore!"

Marketing executive 3: "How about YouTube? That's popular, very big audience."

Marketing executive 1: "Close but no cigar. It is too mainstream. We need to show we are unique!"

Marketing executive 4: *having spent the night browsing the A-Rated section of the movie portal and now half asleep* "Hurm... bob... vegana... Newgrounds"

Marketing executive 1: "EUREKA!" *calls the current CEO*

CEO: *bursts through the door* "You are a genius, my good man!" *hugs marketing executive 4* "I leave this company to you; you are the new CEO!"

2 days later: *this project has been removed by the Newgrounds moderation team*

I'd normally bump this to our recruitment officer ADR3-N, but they've been on personal leave for a while. Next officer up the line would be @gamejunkie then @Big-Boss.

There are some minimum guidelines, which you seem to meet.

I vouch for possible recruit ZomAlien, if the word of an ROTC trainee means anything. He and I have for a while had a pact where we share our flags, and he's been doing very well in the Art Portal, finding misrated art and can judge whether it really will get its rating changed seemingly better than me. He's been posting here for a while, he's got a good, hardworking personality, going from silver to gold whistle in a very short timespan.

*salutes*

Don't dry submitting ads.

Hello, ZomAlien

Thank you for your interest in joining the EGB. After an initial review of your account history and status, you certainly seem qualified to join the Barracks. That being said, I will ask that LCBO @Big-Boss, SLCBO @GameJunkie and RECO @ADR3-N to review your account as well, and apprise me of their opinion and recommendation.

In the meantime, please look over our rules of conduct and our manifesto , and confirm that you read them and agree to abide by them. Once we hear back from the other commanding officers, we'll inform you of our decision.

In your case, you will most likely be approved, but I can't make that decision unilaterally.

Stay tuned - we'll have an answer shortly.

-EGSC CBO byteslinger -

Wow! I thought you just posted this not too long ago. I didn't realize it's been a month already.

It's been about 60's in the morning here and 70's throughout the day. First time there hasn't been rain in weeks and I probably won't see rain again until the winter. With that increase in blooming though comes the increase in allergies for me. :(

I swear I posted more than that, but oh well. I have been finding more stolen submissions in the portal. I'm usually not one to find a lot of those.

The B/P is pretty good in my opinion, especially since I only vote under judgement submissions that will get blammed now to work on my ratio. I keep chugging along at 40+ blams every month and I'll catch up to my saves before I die an old man.

In other news I also became a review moderator as of yesterday. I've been busy looking through reviews. There's something therapeutic about it.

Roger that, I'll stand by for further instruction and information *salutes*

Roger that, Trickster. We both have reviewed Art content that was inappropriately rated, and with that both of us have improved our whistle statuses and helped out the Art portal with any discrepancies.

It's been a hell of a good time working along him, and I'm proud to serve alongside him as a Newgrounds troop. *salutes*

I dont have time to research this right now, but a few reviews are stating this is stolen.

Saving it here for the moment just in case some else has time to check it out before I do.

Had a look at ZomAlien's profile, good stats & seems dedicated to our cause so I'm more than happy to give my vote of approval.

Cat memes with very basic editing and copyrighted music. I doubt you can call any of this animation, much less original content.

Who wants chocolate milk?

Basically taken from here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-B6ZX9YfZQ

Man, I miss Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.

Removed.

@ZomAlien surpasses the requirement for B/P status as well as the requirement for whistle status. He also seems dedicated in helping the site where he can and has a good amount of reviews.

I think he'd make a good member of the EGB.

I know this isn't related to the EGB, but this user

https://fukedurmom666.newgrounds.com/

Has been harassing some users, and asked me to contact you guys for help.

He's an obvious troll.

He is currently banned from the forums for insulting users and being an all around troll.

If he contacts you again just ignore him.

* * * O F F I C I A L __ B A R R A C K S ___ M E M O R A N D U M * * *

From: CBO EGSC byteslinger

To: All Personnel

Date: 03-May-2019

Subject: New Member Joined, Officer Position Filled

After a full review by all senior officers of the Elite Guard Barracks, it is my pleasure and privilege to announce the addition of our newest member, Sergeant @ZomAlien. He has a remarkable history of positive support for Newgrounds, and was highly recommended by everyone in the evaluation process. Thank you, EGSC @Big-Boss, EGSC @GameJunkie, EGSC @Exedor, EGG @Peregrinus and all the others who responded quickly and positively to the call-to-order. I am sure @ZomAlien will make an excellent addition to the Barracks - let's all give him a warm welcome as he joins our ranks and makes us stronger for it. *Salutes*

On the subject of EGG @Peregrinus , I am pleased to announce that he has accepted the staff officer position of Records Officer as of today, 3-May-2019. His exemplary work in the forums, as well as his constant activity in guarding the Portal and the way he leads by example gave him the qualifications for the open position. Historically, the Records Officer had two primary tasks: present the monthly roster, and keep copies of all memorandums and/or other important communications as a working history of the Barracks. Years ago, the roster was maintained manually, but now, it's handled by the EGB website, requiring far less work each month than before. (We will chat offline about the work required to maintain and display the roster on a monthly basis.). Congratulations on your new position - I am sure you will do it justice *Salutes*

And on the subject of the roster: Due to a name change (or two) from our ROTC member @TheReviewTrickster, there was a minor glitch in the processing of the last roster. I have corrected all of the current and historical information to match up to his current user name, and next month's roster should reflect the correct values accordingly.

It's always a pleasure to share good news with the Barracks, and today, there was a lot to share.

*Salutes*

Welcome to the EGB, Sergeant @ZomAlien!

*Salutes*

Welcome to the team, Sergeant @ZomAlien. Glad to have you on board.

Congratulations on the promotion, soldier.

Thank you all for the honorable mention, and invitation to the EGB. I'm looking forward to being officially a part of this group, and to serve alongside you all!

I like to also congratulate @Peregrinus for his success, and I will like to thank @TheReviewTrickster for his work and help. And the chain of command for their reviews,mentions, and for taking the time to officially make me a member.

Thank you all, it's a great honor *Salutes*

*Salutes*

Welcome to the barracks, officer @ZomAlien! It's always been a pleasure working with you, and now we're going to be working more closely than ever, though it might not seem that different. I'm proud to be part of a group with so many great people, and now I have one more reason to feel proud.

Welcome.

Welcome to the barracks *salutes*

And thanks for the congrats on position. I hope that I'll do the Elite Guard proud.

The description says it's only audio. No animation.

And this is just some kid walking around a supermarket. To be fair, it does deliver on its title.

Crappy roblox gameplay recorded with a crappy camera.

Lots of shitty recorded gameplay today.

Yes. That is your upload. Why are you... what is going on here? I can't even watch the video, I'm on mobile.