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The Elite Guard Barracks

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Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-01 02:22:25


At 11/30/10 05:22 PM, SpiffyMasta wrote: Would you care to provide a better explanation please... I see this and I have no idea what's wrong with it or if it's stolen.

My apologies, as it was my third time posting this stolen game that comes with the games factory 2 in this very thread (within the last few pages), and also seeing as how we discussed it over the past few pages, I assumed it was obvious. I'm afraid I have made a mistake.

Also remember, you don't tell people to flag things, you show evidence and we decide on our own, very important rule around here that we just discussed not that long ago...

I had assumed most of use were keeping up with the threads and things posted in it. My apologies to you, good sir. It is indeed very stolen.


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Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-01 15:34:00


MALICIOUS FLASH ALERT.

DO NOT VIEW THIS FLASH. IT SENDS YOU TO A MALWARE SITE.

You know what to do.

Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-01 15:37:41


At 12/1/10 03:34 PM, Ronald-McDonald-LoL wrote: MALICIOUS FLASH ALERT.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/55 5115
DO NOT VIEW THIS FLASH. IT SENDS YOU TO A MALWARE SITE.
You know what to do.

This one autospawned popups for me

Breaks the rules big time easy whistle points here people.

Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-01 15:40:09


At 12/1/10 03:37 PM, LittleWashu wrote:
At 12/1/10 03:34 PM, Ronald-McDonald-LoL wrote: MALICIOUS FLASH ALERT.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/55 5115
DO NOT VIEW THIS FLASH. IT SENDS YOU TO A MALWARE SITE.
You know what to do.
This one autospawned popups for me

Breaks the rules big time easy whistle points here people.

Sorry for the double post, but this guy is at it again

More easy whistle points people.

Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-01 17:51:14


Stolen flash:

From:

http://www.kongregate.com/


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Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-01 18:47:34


At 12/1/10 05:51 PM, SeeD419 wrote: Stolen flash:
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/55 5128
From: http://www.kongregate.com/

I guess some people don't learn the crime doesn't pay

It is the same stolen flash once again. Seriously what is with these people?

Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-01 19:02:40


At 12/1/10 06:47 PM, LittleWashu wrote:
At 12/1/10 05:51 PM, SeeD419 wrote: Stolen flash:
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/55 5128
From: http://www.kongregate.com/
I guess some people don't learn the crime doesn't pay

It is the same stolen flash once again. Seriously what is with these people?

scratch that people I checked the site, and this guy is indeed the person who made the game.

here is the link

Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-01 19:13:07


Got some abusive reviews for you guys (there advertising). http://ghcgcfg.newgrounds.com/reviews/fl ash http://fhdosafdsaui.newgrounds.com/revie ws/flash


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Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-01 19:14:59


At 12/1/10 07:13 PM, 34Deadman wrote: Got some abusive reviews for you guys (there advertising). http://ghcgcfg.newgrounds.com/reviews/fl ash http://fhdosafdsaui.newgrounds.com/revie ws/flash

Dude don't you read the thread? IT IS TABOO TO POST LINKS TO ABUSIVE REVIEWS! if you find these PM a review mod and they will take care of them.

Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-01 19:15:48


At 12/1/10 07:13 PM, 34Deadman wrote: Got some abusive reviews for you guys (there advertising). http://ghcgcfg.newgrounds.com/reviews/fl ash http://fhdosafdsaui.newgrounds.com/revie ws/flash

It's actually completely useless to flag those, the review mods clear the flags before deleting them, so you don't get any points.

Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-01 19:18:06


At 12/1/10 07:14 PM, LittleWashu wrote:
At 12/1/10 07:13 PM, 34Deadman wrote: Got some abusive reviews for you guys (there advertising). http://ghcgcfg.newgrounds.com/reviews/fl ash http://fhdosafdsaui.newgrounds.com/revie ws/flash
Dude don't you read the thread? IT IS TABOO TO POST LINKS TO ABUSIVE REVIEWS! if you find these PM a review mod and they will take care of them.

The reviews are gone now. Hell even a account was deleted. But for future notice I'll alert a Review mod first. Sorry if any disruption has been made.


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Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-01 19:21:51


At 12/1/10 07:15 PM, Jolly wrote:
At 12/1/10 07:13 PM, 34Deadman wrote: Got some abusive reviews for you guys (there advertising). http://ghcgcfg.newgrounds.com/reviews/fl ash http://fhdosafdsaui.newgrounds.com/revie ws/flash
It's actually completely useless to flag those, the review mods clear the flags before deleting them, so you don't get any points.

Without penelty I hope because otherwise it wouldn't be right for the since the review are technically abusive, and you would be losing whistle points for doing the right thing.

Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-01 19:34:34


At 12/1/10 07:21 PM, LittleWashu wrote:
Without penelty I hope because otherwise it wouldn't be right for the since the review are technically abusive, and you would be losing whistle points for doing the right thing.

There's no points either way, because the account is deleted in the cases of bots. So just like if a review never goes up to the review mods, you are not awarded points either positive or negative.

Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-01 22:35:11


I just looked and I have now passed 5000 saves that is really amazing for he hopefully by next year, I will have my new badge. I also level up soon anyway I reported loads of flash submissions got a reply now they are gone. Never ending the flash thief's are busy guess it because its near Xmas. Still its low to steal flashes I hate that. Got to keep an eye on the flash portal.


Archer I'm a good shot!

Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-02 04:37:37


At 12/1/10 07:15 PM, Jolly wrote:
At 12/1/10 07:13 PM, 34Deadman wrote: Got some abusive reviews for you guys (there advertising). http://ghcgcfg.newgrounds.com/reviews/fl ash http://fhdosafdsaui.newgrounds.com/revie ws/flash
It's actually completely useless to flag those, the review mods clear the flags before deleting them, so you don't get any points.

We do no such thing! >:(

The reviews are deleted with flags still on them in order to put a ban in place. You will get points for one review, but what's the point, if you're Deity - you can't get your whistle up higher. Send a PM to a Review Mod and we will alert Wade ASAP. Once he receives that, the account will most likely be deleted, thus causing no bonus or penalty on outstanding flags for all of that account's reviews.

Someone want to poke Lizz, to make sure he isn't dead? It's the 2nd of December now and we've not seen him here for a month :P


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Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-02 06:05:03


At 12/2/10 04:37 AM, Coop wrote: Someone want to poke Lizz, to make sure he isn't dead? It's the 2nd of December now and we've not seen him here for a month :P

I'll get the paddle out and keep an eye out for him on AIM..

Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-02 11:07:14


At 12/2/10 04:37 AM, Coop wrote:
At 12/1/10 07:15 PM, Jolly wrote:
At 12/1/10 07:13 PM, 34Deadman wrote: Got some abusive reviews for you guys (there advertising). http://ghcgcfg.newgrounds.com/reviews/fl ash http://fhdosafdsaui.newgrounds.com/revie ws/flash
It's actually completely useless to flag those, the review mods clear the flags before deleting them, so you don't get any points.
We do no such thing! >:(

The reviews are deleted with flags still on them in order to put a ban in place. You will get points for one review, but what's the point, if you're Deity - you can't get your whistle up higher. Send a PM to a Review Mod and we will alert Wade ASAP. Once he receives that, the account will most likely be deleted, thus causing no bonus or penalty on outstanding flags for all of that account's reviews.

It's so cool to find an account full of abusive revs... Too bad I don't see too much abusive reviews now... Got Silver, got stuck. pfft.

Someone want to poke Lizz, to make sure he isn't dead? It's the 2nd of December now and we've not seen him here for a month :P

Now that's why I said Merry Christmas to him!

I was so happy, I could see how many B/P I got last month... Now, I'll play some CS. Seeya guys!


Hey you, looking for fun? Join the Elite Guard Barracks

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Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-02 15:35:58


At 12/2/10 02:59 PM, Lizzardis wrote: Barracks Roster as of December 1st, 2010:
Good evening Barracks!

OH EM GEE He's alive!!!

I'm guessing that you guys deserve an apology for my absence as late roster.... And that i should explain why my absence was so long, and really... So immediate and secretive. Firstly though i'd just like to say that this roster is entitled the 1st of December because it's yesterdays roster. Any gains you made today will NOT be counted on this roster.

It's ok all is forgiven my friend, at least on my part. Just cause I luvz you so muchhhh.

Second of all, I apologise for my absence and the late roster. To be honestly blunt, I've been diagnosed with depression, broke up with my girlfriend, then it turned out I liked someone else and she makes me feel in a way which I never thought possible. I've realised that for the past couple of years I've never realised that I've felt feelings. I always have done, just never recognised then. With this girl.... There's defiantly a feeling there.

That sounds great. Wish I could find me one of those. After I broke off my engagement in Feb, I've been on the depress side myself. Still single, cause every girl I meet seems to have too many issues. Women drive me nuts. But hey good for you! :)

Thirdly, I broke my iPhone screen and have been waiting for 3 weeks to get it repaired... I've just finished repairing it... D.I.Y style. ;)

Nothing like a lil bit of crazy glue to fix everything. Or did you use good old ducktape?

Lastly, due to college I've had a hell of a lot of work on my plate and because of my head being everywhere I'm struggling with college like never before. Christmas is coming up, yet I've got January exams which i need to study my arse off for, and I'm panicking to say the least.

Exams up the wazoo huh? I know the feeling all too well. It blows, but once you're through it you get a well deserved break!

This past month has been very bad, yet very very good for me at the same time. I just need to sort myself out even further in order to get back on track. I would hope your patience will not change towards me, as I do sincerely apologise not only for the roster, but because of my lack of absence within the EGB.

Hey real life takes precedence over any stupid stats you might provide for us. That's what counts, is taking care of yourself first, not our stat whoring needs, ok!

But anyway, enough of me... Enjoy the roster guys. :)

Shanks!

Milestones::
byteslinger - 52K saves, 63K total B/P
Coop - 56K saves, 83K total B/P
Cootie - 8K saves, 9K total B/P
DumbassDude - 23K saves, 29K total B/P
Ismael92 - 11K saves, 16K total B/P
Lizzardis - 16K saves, 19K total B/P
Pandamir - 5K total B/P
phantomlassuk - 5K saves
Rabid-Animals - 8K total B/P
RogerBK - 4K saves
RohantheBarbarian - 25K total B/P
Ronald-McDonald-Lol - 2K saves, 3K total B/P
SeeD419 - 4K saves, 6K total B/P
Sir-Nuts - 17K saves
SpiffyMasta - 1K saves
Sushi13 - 6K blams

I feel lost with my lowly 1K saves in this see of titanic proportions lol but hey, i'm just slow paced ok?

Promotions::
Cootie - Sgt. Major
Pandamir - Sergeant
Rabid-Animals - Sgt. First Class
Ronald-McDonald-Lol - Pvt. First Class
SeeD419 - Staff Sergeant
Sushi13 - Major

Congrats! I'll try to make it to PFC by Jan...

At 12/2/10 03:02 PM, Lizzardis wrote: The List:
No. B/P / Gain / Average / Change / Username
36) 03,087 | 0,000 | 00.00 | -100.00 | puddinN64 Pvt. First Class -1
37) 02,843 | 0,177 | 05.90 | +012.03 | SpiffyMasta Private +1
38) 02,819 | 0,000 | 00.00 | -100.00 | mwmike Private -1
39) 02,537 | 0,021 | 00.70 | +000.00 | TheSongSalad Private

Some decent gains. I had started off the month so well too, and then just got really lazy. I think 100 of those came within the first week lol. I've passed mike, so now I'm after my brah michelinman =P

Top 5 Gainers::
byteslinger - 1,769
SeeD419 - 1,566
Coop - 1,340
Ismael92 - 985
Cootie - 961

I don't whether to congratulate you or to tell you to spend less time on this website lol

Good work!

That's 376.03 per day, or 9.64 per day per member.

I need to aim for this number I think that's a good scale to work on.

Thanks LIZZ!

Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-02 15:59:01


At 12/2/10 04:37 AM, Coop wrote:
At 12/1/10 07:15 PM, Jolly wrote:
At 12/1/10 07:13 PM, 34Deadman wrote: Got some abusive reviews for you guys (there advertising). http://ghcgcfg.newgrounds.com/reviews/fl ash http://fhdosafdsaui.newgrounds.com/revie ws/flash
It's actually completely useless to flag those, the review mods clear the flags before deleting them, so you don't get any points.
We do no such thing! >:(

I forget who, but I think another review mod said they did, though I'm not completely sure. And in a message you told me not to bother flagging them.

Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-02 17:14:45


At 12/2/10 02:59 PM, Lizzardis wrote: I'm guessing that you guys deserve an apology for my absence as late roster....

About time, t- Oh shit, so that's why you were late with it?

Um... okay, that's understandable. I hope that everything resolves itself soon, to your satisfaction. Depression can be aided by walking. If you can find places where you can take the occasional stroll (dog walking?), you'll be helping yourself there :)

At 12/2/10 03:02 PM, Lizzardis wrote: 01) 83,167 | 1,340 | 44.67 | -011.32 | Coop Sup. Commander

83k. Not really that impressive, as I still managed to miss 50 per day. Oh well, there's always this month :)

Top 5 Gainers::
byteslinger - 1,769
SeeD419 - 1,566
Coop - 1,340
Ismael92 - 985
Cootie - 961

Ooh, a competitor has entered. Welcome to the gang, SeeD.

Top gainers, repeat appearances::
byteslinger (23)
Coop (22)
Ismael92 (9)
Cootie (2)

Well, byteslinger's streak will move to 2 years after December and mine will move there in February 2011, so that's always good to hear.


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Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-02 18:06:05


Okay, I've been wanting to ask for a while now but didn't feel like I met the requiriments until recently. May I join the EGB? I have almost 7,000 B/P points, fairly helpful reviews/post, a golden whistle, and I'm not in a spam crew/have any recent spam flash.

Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-02 18:51:42


hello sir sounds like a great group sir how can i join sir!


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Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-02 19:50:27


At 12/2/10 06:51 PM, nuke505 wrote: hello sir sounds like a great group sir how can i join sir!

While I admire your enthusiasm, you are not quite ready to join the Elite Guard. Our minimal conditions for consideration are rank of Private or higher, bronze whistle, reasonable blam/protect ratios, and a generally helpful / decent history of useful posts and helpful reviews. When you are ready, you are welcome to ask again. In the meantime, may I recommend contacting
TailsPrower over at the Newgrounds Police Department. Many of the current members of the EGB started out in the NGPD. Good luck - and tell them that "Byte" sent you!

----------------------------------------
---------

At 12/2/10 06:06 PM, Jolly wrote: Okay, I've been wanting to ask for a while now but didn't feel like I met the requiriments until recently. May I join the EGB? I have almost 7,000 B/P points, fairly helpful reviews/post, a golden whistle, and I'm not in a spam crew/have any recent spam flash.

Greetings, Jolly! I am Supreme Commander ByteSlinger, the Recruitment Officer for the Elite Guard. You are indeed qualified to request permission to rejoin the Barracks - however, there are a few things you'll need to read and understand before you rejoin, but don't worry - I'll be guiding you through the recruitment process. Here's how it works.

First, I will present you with the shortened code of conduct for the Barracks, along with links to the relevant FAQ's on our forums. You must read them, understand them, and post here again confirming that you accept those principles. A simple "yes, I agree" will be sufficient. This process serves two purposes:

1) Ensuring that you're not a "drive-by applicant" who asks to join and then never comes back, and

2) Ensuring that you know how we operate so there won't be any complications in the future, such as "wait, we're not supposed to be mass voting?".

After you agree to the code of conduct, the Barracks community will discuss your qualifications and decide whether to allow you into the group. Our requirements aren't too strict; beyond the main qualifications of 2500+ B/P and a Bronze Whistle or better, we'll be looking for sufficient post quality (low number of one-liners, intelligent posts that contribute to the topic), helpful reviews, any potentially problematic flashes, stuff like that. After discussion and a vote, we'll make the final call and PM you with the results. Assuming that no objections are raised, the process usually takes a day or two (or so)

Here is our abbreviated Code of Conduct. Read it, learn it, and post again with confirmation of your understanding. If you can't abide by these principles, say so.

*****

1. Voting fairly.

This is the foundation of the Elite Guard Barracks. All members are expected to give every flash a fair vote, regardless of who made it or what their group affiliations are. We do not target any flash group, not favorably or in opposition; our only enemies are those who break the rules of the site, not those who merely bend them.

Everyone has a different definition of quality, and all members are expected to vote based on what they honestly feel a flash deserves, not on whether they think the flash will pass or be blammed. While Barracks members are proud of their high ranks, and are eager to compete with others, a high B/P score means nothing if achieved through petty point-whore voting, and any member who admits to doing so will be removed from the organization.

2. Stopping Portal abuse.

Numerous stolen, malicious, and unsuitable flash are submitted to the Flash Portal every day, and it is our job to ensure that as many of them are removed as possible. Members are expected to report any suspicious flash to the Barracks, including any evidence or doubts that they might have, and only whistle something if they are sure, beyond a reasonable doubt, that it is whistle-worthy.

Just as with B/P, points mean nothing if achieved through inappropriate means. There should be no blind rush to whistle a flash that is merely suspected of wrongdoing; it's better to let an uncertain case go by rather than wrongly whistle an innocent submission. If evidence of wrongdoing is discovered after a flash passes judgment, we can always (and will always) inform Wade of our findings.

In the case of a beyond-reasonable-doubt rulebreaking flash, members are encouraged to share their results with the Newgrounds Police Department and the Newgrounds Department of Defense.

3. Cleaning up the review system.

Members are expected to be familiar with the review guidelines and whistle abusive reviews when they come across them, and report severe cases of abuse to a review mod. Additionally, members are expected to write helpful reviews, offering constructive criticism and remaining civil even when the author refuses to do so. We must set a good example for other Newgrounders, in hopes that they will improve their own reviews as well.

4. Setting an example for others to follow.

Barracks members are expected to post intelligently, contributing to threads rather than merely dropping a one-liner opinion on it. Flaming, spamming, and other ban-worthy behavior is strictly prohibited, and extreme misbehavior will lead to removal from the EGB.

Members are also expected to act civilly towards all Newgrounders. You are expected to be helpful and patient when dealing with newer members, whether simply showing them the FAQ or explaining more complex concepts that they do not understand. Concepts such as fair voting, intelligent posting/reviewing, and keeping an open mind are essential for newer members to learn, and we are just the ones to teach them.

For those with more experience, you are expected to show respect and understand that they may, in fact, know more about Newgrounds than you do, even if you're a seasoned veteran. This applies both to fellow Barracks members and Newgrounders in the general population.

Members are expected to put reasonable effort into any flash or audio submissions, and be careful with who they become Portal Buddies with. We are quite generous with our definition of reasonable effort; examples of unacceptable submissions would be static images, single frames, ridiculously small loops, or purposefully bad music. Anyone submitting rulebreaking content would, obviously, be removed from the Barracks and reported to Wade.

5. Not starting shit.

As mentioned above, the Barracks has no enemies beyond those who break the rules of the site. Our roster has included current and former members of various flash groups, including the Clock Crew, Barney Bunch, and Kitty Krew, and we are open to anyone willing to follow our principles. Barracks members are expected to be civil to others and not start fights, and anyone found to be starting shit with anyone, even if they deserve it, will be removed. You are representing the Barracks with your actions, and if your actions do not reflect our principles, you will not be a part of the organization.

6. Remaining active with the group.

Barracks members are expected to remain reasonably active in the thread, as well as with their duties. Those who are inactive for long periods (months) may be removed from the roster at any time, and rollcalls are occasionally sent out to all members to determine who is active. Members who expect to be inactive for some time due to IRL reasons (such as school, employment, vacation, etc) should inform the Barracks in advance.

*****
In addition to the above, please examine the following materials.

The Barracks Manifesto
The Barracks FAQ
*****

So, just let me know, and we'll get you started! And, please, for the love of GOD, do NOT quote this entire thing! :-)


Proud member of the EGB since 2006 |-EGB Forum-|-EGB Website-| Game and Movie Mod 2017

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Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-02 20:39:16


At 12/2/10 07:50 PM, byteslinger wrote: Greetings, Jolly! I am Supreme Commander ByteSlinger, the Recruitment Officer for the Elite Guard.

I agree with the code of conduct.

Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-02 22:41:32


At 12/2/10 10:30 PM, ihatesonic1 wrote:
At 12/2/10 06:06 PM, Jolly wrote: I'm not in a spam crew/have any recent spam flash.
So you can't join if you have a few spam flashes?

Not recently.

- Rank of "Private" or better (2,500+ BP Points)
- Bronze Whistle or better
- Posts and Reviews are generally helpful and/or relevant to the topic at hand
- Not actively part of a spam or hack crew
- No recent spam flash submissions

- Generally need to be a decent person who can understand and uphold our ideals.

Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-02 23:47:39


At 12/2/10 08:39 PM, Jolly wrote:
At 12/2/10 07:50 PM, byteslinger wrote: Greetings, Jolly! I am Supreme Commander ByteSlinger, the Recruitment Officer for the Elite Guard.
I agree with the code of conduct.

Very good, Staff Sgt. Jolly. We will begin the review and discussion process immediately.

Would all active members of the Barracks please
weigh in on the admission discussion forum ASAP?

Thank you all for your participation - now, as you were...
*Salutes*


Proud member of the EGB since 2006 |-EGB Forum-|-EGB Website-| Game and Movie Mod 2017

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Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-03 05:41:58


At 12/2/10 11:47 PM, byteslinger wrote: Would all active members of the Barracks please
weigh in on the admission discussion forum ASAP?

Vote cast, Supreme Commander Byte! *Salutes*

At 12/2/10 05:14 PM, Coop wrote:
Top 5 Gainers::
byteslinger - 1,769
SeeD419 - 1,566
Coop - 1,340
Ismael92 - 985
Cootie - 961
Ooh, a competitor has entered. Welcome to the gang, SeeD.

Albeit infinitesimal, it is an honor to have been ranked above in you in at least something finally :)

Personally, I felt it was a rather slow month though, as my prior month was quite a bit higher. We shall see about next month ;)


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Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-03 09:01:49


Voted for it bytes...

Now, let's wait the rest of the guys vote... But I think there's a final decision yet... :)

:Love when it's voting time... so coooool!!

Anyway, thx for the Roster Lizz, we understand the reason of the delay, we're all humans, and not fucking machines... :D


Hey you, looking for fun? Join the Elite Guard Barracks

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Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-03 19:46:53


At 12/2/10 03:02 PM, Lizzardis wrote: 37) 02,843 | 0,177 | 05.90 | +012.03 | SpiffyMasta Private +1
38) 02,819 | 0,000 | 00.00 | -100.00 | mwmike Private -1

AWW HELL NAWW.

When I joined the force, I knew I wouldn't be making massive B/P counts, but my main intention was to get ahead of, and stay ahead of, my boy Spiff. Due to how ridonkulously busy I've been, I have had no time to B/P at all over the past two or three months, but now you've gained a bit of momentum and re-overtaken me I might have to start neglecting the bird, the social life and the homework that's kept me away from Newgrounds.

and also the civ

Formerly known as mwmike | I'm moderately active on last.fm | Before you post, read these. Please.

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Response to The Elite Guard Barracks 2010-12-04 00:32:44


At 12/3/10 07:46 PM, mwmike wrote:
At 12/2/10 03:02 PM, Lizzardis wrote: 37) 02,843 | 0,177 | 05.90 | +012.03 | SpiffyMasta Private +1
38) 02,819 | 0,000 | 00.00 | -100.00 | mwmike Private -1
AWW HELL NAWW.

Glad I can throw some sticks in your spokes haha. We'll see how this goes. Prepare to die!

*Rips shirt off to show massively and ridiculously bulky six pack*