At 2/26/10 06:59 PM, Coop83 wrote:

At 2/25/10 11:08 PM, SlntCobra1 wrote: Wow no chatter for the last 13 hours & 10 minutes. Where is everyone?

In ur nuwgroundz, bannin' ur uzerz :P

ROFL!! Wow, not only are Byte & Eagle on a comedy roll, you are as well. I like it!

Also, I fixed it for ya! ^_^

Sorry for the double post, but I just had to share this:

HP Printer Office Hi-jinks!

If I knew how I would say something like "In ur printer, causing paper jamz!" Or "HELP! I'M STUCK INT THE PRINTER!!" Just to mess with people. Also, who says Office Hi-jinks aren't any fun?

At 2/27/10 12:55 PM, SlntCobra1 wrote:

At 2/26/10 06:59 PM, Coop83 wrote:

At 2/25/10 11:08 PM, SlntCobra1 wrote: Wow no chatter for the last 13 hours & 10 minutes. Where is everyone?

In ur nuwgroundz, bannin' ur uzerz :P

ROFL!! Wow, not only are Byte & Eagle on a comedy roll, you are as well. I like it!

You never, ever note any of the shit that I do. I work my ass off to impress you and you just overlook me, time and time again. Well, thanks. You've made a 17year old guy cry.

Well, it's not my fault if you rarely have any snappy comebacks or anything Puddin. That's on you pal. :\ From what I've seen, you're rarely one to have snappy comebacks or say anything cynical at all. That's usually Eagle, Byte, Lizz, Fro, Coop, or myself. Sometimes Ismael, if he's feeling up to it at the time.

At 2/27/10 02:10 PM, puddinN64 wrote:

At 2/27/10 12:55 PM, SlntCobra1 wrote:

At 2/26/10 06:59 PM, Coop83 wrote:

At 2/25/10 11:08 PM, SlntCobra1 wrote: Wow no chatter for the last 13 hours & 10 minutes. Where is everyone?

In ur nuwgroundz, bannin' ur uzerz :P

ROFL!! Wow, not only are Byte & Eagle on a comedy roll, you are as well. I like it!

You never, ever note any of the shit that I do. I work my ass off to impress you and you just overlook me, time and time again. Well, thanks. You've made a 17year old guy cry.

Oh, somebody call the WAAAAAAAAmbulance! Hey, we know you can be funny at times, Puddin, but the clue to great comedy is this: you can't force it. The quips, the smart remarks, the quick come-backs all have to flow naturally. Some of us have it, and some of us don't.

I mean, SlntCobra1 is a great guy - but he's not a comedian. If I want to know about weapons or armor or tanks or Yuh-gi-Oh, he's the definite go-to guy. But he'll never be a joke writer. It's just not the way he's built. He enjoys a good laugh, especially when I pick on him about his redneck tendencies (like when I say that his house is on wheels but the truck on the side of yard is on blocks).

Don't work so hard at trying to be funny. Forced humor is like faking a climax - no one really enjoys it, and you just can't wait for it to be over. Relax. The key to humor is to know your audience. What you think is funny may not be their cup of tea. I mean, it's just plain dangerous to tell redneck jokes at a Ford factory closing in Alabama, or retard jokes at the Special Olympics. The best jokes are those that can be told to any audience - and when YOU are the butt of the joke. If you can laugh at yourself, and then make others laugh at you, you've become a successful comedian. For example:

'When I was 17, I could eat 3000 calories a day and not gain a pound. I lived on 5 hours of sleep a night, and I didn't need drugs - just copious amounts of Pepsi and Pizza. But somewhere along the line, and with no memo to warn me, my metabolism decided that it had worked long enough, and flat-out retired. I started noticing that the washing machine kept shrinking my pants - even in cold water. I'd put on my two-piece bathing suit, but my stomach never got a tan. When I wake up, my leg would still be asleep, as if to say "hey, I worked a lot yesterday - I'm not going in today - you can hop on the other one, right?" What I want to know is how do they make those trick mirrors that show your mother's face when YOU look into it? And when the hell did I become "Ma'm"? I'm not growing old gracefully. I go into a clothing store, and some bulimic 17-year-old with a size -1 waist looks at me, puts down her PDA, sneers and says, "oh, the big woman's sizes are in the back". "Oh, can you show me?", I asked. "Sure, lady, follow me." So I followed little-miss-no-ass to the back of the store, where they sell circus tents and horse blankets and those ever-popular Hawaiian Moo-moos. "I'm sure you can find what YOU need here", she says sarcastically. I look at her, and ask, "Do you have a private changing room?" She says ,"Yeah, over here, and she walks behind the counter into the back. It's a freakin' bathroom! "Is anyone in there? Could you please check?", I ask, ever so innocently. She glares a little bit, pulls open the door, and steps inside. When the door closes, I take the chair from the counter, and wedge it under the door handle.

"I can't get out!", she yells. "The door is stuck!"

"Oh, just put your weight into it!", I answer, and then leave the store to go get some ice cream.'

Score one for the big girl!
=======
Anyway, we do appreciate you, Puddin - just stay away from bad puns and old jokes.

*Salutes**

At 2/27/10 09:27 PM, byteslinger wrote: "I can't get out!", she yells. "The door is stuck!"

"Oh, just put your weight into it!", I answer, and then leave the store to go get some ice cream.'

Score one for the big girl!

hahaha, that was great
now you made a 20 years old guy cry (cry because i am laughing so hard XD obviously)

Anyway, just passing by, today the portal was really nice, and i even decide to get a few medals on some games... ohh and, i just passed slash (you will see it in a couple days roster update)
i can remeber when i enter EGB... Slash was an inspiration on how a NGer should be, he was like so unattainable, so far away... he still is an inspiration, but now i don't see so difficult to be like that... i already got more B/P than him, now i have to make some better posts and make some more flashes... and help more the noobish NGers like he did once to me =)

anyway, i will continue with the portal protection while i can

*Salute* (to everyone)
*Salute* again (to Slash)

*goes to continue the statwhoring*

At 2/27/10 12:55 PM, SlntCobra1 wrote:

At 2/26/10 06:59 PM, Coop83 wrote:

At 2/25/10 11:08 PM, SlntCobra1 wrote: Wow no chatter for the last 13 hours & 10 minutes. Where is everyone?

In ur nuwgroundz, bannin' ur uzerz :P

ROFL!! Wow, not only are Byte & Eagle on a comedy roll, you are as well. I like it!

Also, I fixed it for ya! ^_^

No, I think the joke is funnier with proper grammar. I still don't get why people think that things with horrible grammar are funny. For instance, just look at some lolcat pictures. I mean, the pictures themselves may be funny, but the shitty captions just ruin the fun.

At 2/27/10 09:27 PM, byteslinger wrote: "I can't get out!", she yells. "The door is stuck!"

"Oh, just put your weight into it!", I answer, and then leave the store to go get some ice cream.'

Score one for the big girl!

Hahaha that was awesome! Is that a true story?

At 2/27/10 09:45 PM, aldlv wrote: Anyway, just passing by, today the portal was really nice, and i even decide to get a few medals on some games... ohh and, i just passed slash (you will see it in a couple days roster update)
i can remeber when i enter EGB... Slash was an inspiration on how a NGer should be, he was like so unattainable, so far away... he still is an inspiration, but now i don't see so difficult to be like that... i already got more B/P than him, now i have to make some better posts and make some more flashes... and help more the noobish NGers like he did once to me =)

Yes, I know that weird feeling you get when you are actually better at something than the person you admire. You should be proud about yourself, congrats! :D

This flash is promoting an illegal activity, and should be flagged as unsuitable.

• 

  by <deleted>

  Under Judgment

  (Everyone)

Flaaaaaaaaagged. Cool, although I doubt an illegal keygen would've gone unnoticed even if it wasn't reported here.

Speaking of unsuitable flashes, is there any limit on how utterly horrible a flash can be before it gets pulled? I mean, the rules do say if it's "much more offensive than the regular Newgrounds fare", it should be flagged, but... what counts as "much more offensive" than Newgrounds?

Think about it. If V-Tech rampage was OK (and that made national news), as well as a ton of other royally twisted jokes on humanity, what wouldn't?

Hey Byte, you never did answer my question about your entry for the Jan/Feb writing contest. Also, great joke as well. While I may not be the true definition of a redneck, I sure as hell am not one to get all hot under the collar about 'em.

In order to illustrate my point, my parents got me Jeff Foxworthy's You Might Be A Rednck If... This Is The BIGGEST BOOK You've Ever Read a few years ago. I've identified with something like 21-40 of the jokes which indicates Jeff will see me at the next family reunion. :P

Ismael, I just used the LOLSpeak because Coop's post warranted such humor. :p

At 2/28/10 01:17 PM, SlntCobra1 wrote: Hey Byte, you never did answer my question about your entry for the Jan/Feb writing contest. Also, great joke as well. While I may not be the true definition of a redneck, I sure as hell am not one to get all hot under the collar about 'em.

They say to make a story interesting you should write about what you know. There is, unfortunately, quite a bit of truth in that story. I did lose a husband to a drunk driver, and I did have a bout with cancer a while after that which rendered me sterile.

All of that heartache years ago made me question many things in my life. It took me a while to realize that what you want out of life, and what you get, are two different things. I had many choices in my depression - but fortunately, I chose to busy myself in my career, and do some good with my life.

I love my nieces and nephews as my own, and at this stage of my life, I have accepted that not only can I not have kids of my own, I don't have a desire to adopt. I have made my work my life, and for me, I am satisfied with that.

So now, many years later, I am fairly stable - I don't take any meds (prescription or otherwise), don't smoke (never did), drink occasionally (once every few months - and if I had to stop, it would be no big deal), don't have any addictions or gambling problems, and as far as I know, free of any restraining orders or bench warrants. I have a lot of bills and debt to work out, but I've been chipping away at them every year, and eventually I'll see daylight. Just living the American Dream.

And as many of you know, I use my sense of humor to defend myself, or to diffuse a situation. It is a convenient shield to put up. However, every once in a while, some things just set me off, and I fire back. I never said I was perfect - but I am fun to be with.

One last thing - I'm not looking for sympathy or pity. My past is my past, and where I am today is much different than where I was then. I like being helpful here in the EGB, and a comedienne as well. I might offend some people as I go along, but you know, you can't please everybody all the time. I do NOT classify myself as "politically correct" - but you'll always know where you stand with me, like it or not.

So, yes, my scars are on the inside. I have filled the gaps in my soul with technology. However, unlike the character in my fanfic, I am still (unfortunately) 100% human. Oh, and yes, that story about the skinny chick in the store - yup, that really happened. Not sure how she got out - I didn't hang around long enough to find out!

Laugh, clown, laugh...

In order to illustrate my point, my parents got me Jeff Foxworthy's You Might Be A Rednck If... This Is The BIGGEST BOOK You've Ever Read a few years ago. I've identified with something like 21-40 of the jokes which indicates Jeff will see me at the next family reunion. :P

The one thing I have learned about "rednecks" is never to underestimate them. They may appear as "stupid" or "simple" by other people's standards, but when the going gets tough, they know how to pull together, figure things out and make things happen. Just because an answer is simple and unconventional does not mean it's not valid.

Ismael, I just used the LOLSpeak because Coop's post warranted such humor. :p

LOLSpeak is just another form of slang, designed by a young generation to piss off the older one. It's along the same lines of making every other word in your sentence a "curse word", or using the word "like" between, like, every other, like, word. Almost as bad as "You Know".

So, can I haz a lolkat to feedz and paly wiht?

I remember when there used to be flashes in The Bastards section some very funny but quite sick. I guess you don't get many now sometimes one pops up but not very often. Well you really have come through well after what you said byteslinger. I'm deciding what browser to use I have got a new version of Firefox, but I'm not sure if I should just stick with Camino my current one. I have not used Firefox in months got the latest edition though. I guess I just try both for now.

At 2/27/10 12:55 PM, SlntCobra1 wrote: Also, I fixed it for ya! ^_^

I rather think you... how do the youth of today put it? "Monged it up"?

At 2/27/10 09:27 PM, byteslinger wrote: 'When I was 17, I could eat 3000 calories a day and not gain a pound.

I must be having a bad day - I seriously thought that there was an anecdote coming in there somewhere, but I'm over that now *returns to original preconceptions of how byteslinger looks*

At 2/27/10 09:58 PM, Ismael92 wrote:

At 2/27/10 12:55 PM, SlntCobra1 wrote: Also, I fixed it for ya! ^_^

No, I think the joke is funnier with proper grammar. I still don't get why people think that things with horrible grammar are funny. For instance, just look at some lolcat pictures. I mean, the pictures themselves may be funny, but the shitty captions just ruin the fun.

Exactly - I much prefer the idea of saying it in an upper class English accent.

At 2/28/10 01:17 PM, SlntCobra1 wrote: In order to illustrate my point, my parents got me Jeff Foxworthy's You Might Be A Rednck If... This Is The BIGGEST BOOK You've Ever Read a few years ago. I've identified with something like 21-40 of the jokes which indicates Jeff will see me at the next family reunion. :P

Oh come on. I like NASCAR. Ergo I am a redneck :P

Yeah, we're divorced, but we're still cousins.

At 2/28/10 12:33 PM, Ismael92 wrote: This flash is promoting an illegal activity, and should be flagged as unsuitable.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/52 9055

It's also unnecessary for God's sake. What's wrong with the free version of Avast? It still has the speakonia voice that goes "Virus database has been updated" and stuff... you're not missing much...

At 3/1/10 10:09 AM, Coop83 wrote:

At 2/27/10 09:27 PM, byteslinger wrote: 'When I was 17, I could eat 3000 calories a day and not gain a pound.

I must be having a bad day - I seriously thought that there was an anecdote coming in there somewhere, but I'm over that now *returns to original preconceptions of how byteslinger looks*

I was laughing my ass off when I read Byte's little tirade. I'm at work, too. *dodging copious amounts of stares from those around me*

Exactly - I much prefer the idea of saying it in an upper class English accent.

Whenever I think of the Queen's English, I think of George Carlin talking about social situations where he says (in an accent), "Lovely party, Jeffrey, but there's a turd in the punch bowl."

At 2/28/10 01:17 PM, SlntCobra1 wrote: In order to illustrate my point, my parents got me Jeff Foxworthy's You Might Be A Rednck If... This Is The BIGGEST BOOK You've Ever Read a few years ago. I've identified with something like 21-40 of the jokes which indicates Jeff will see me at the next family reunion. :P

Oh come on. I like NASCAR. Ergo I am a redneck :P

Whenever I think of NASCAR, I'm cursed to now think of Pixar's Cars. I then think about the awesome cameos they pulled for that, and wonder why they'd bother to get Michael Schumacher to play a Ferrari. As if most 6-year old American kids know who the hell Michael Schumacher is. Actually, I doubt they know who Richard Petty is, either. Or what a 440 Superbird is. Or why it changed NASCAR forever. Or why the rice rocket with the 7-tier spoiler is funny.

*Looks around at everyone staring at him*

Wow, am I getting bitter. *goes to shop for coveralls and a pitchfork*

Yeah, we're divorced, but we're still cousins.

If a cop asks for identification and you show him your belt buckle, you might be a redneck.
If you've ever mowed your lawn and found a car, you might be a redneck.
If your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade, you might be a redneck.
If your lawn has more cars on it than blades of grass, you might be a redneck.
If you've ever taken an inner-tube up a ski lift, you might be a redneck.
If you've ever had to take a paint can up to a water tower to defend your sister's honor, you might be a redneck.
If people keep ringing your doorbell mistaking you're having a yard sale, you might be a redneck.

And lastly, If you have more guns than teeth, you might be a redneck.

Now, I did make up a few of those (the last one for example), but most go to the credit of Jeff himself.

And on that note, I think I said enough...

probably too much

At 2/28/10 07:20 PM, byteslinger wrote:

At 2/28/10 01:17 PM, SlntCobra1 wrote: Ismael, I just used the LOLSpeak because Coop's post warranted such humor. :p

LOLSpeak is just another form of slang, designed by a young generation to piss off the older one. It's along the same lines of making every other word in your sentence a "curse word", or using the word "like" between, like, every other, like, word. Almost as bad as "You Know".

A young generation pissing off the older one? Cobra is older than me, and he finds "LOLSpeak" funny while I don't :P

At 3/1/10 11:32 AM, Lizzardis wrote: Barracks Roster 1st March 2010

Thanks for the roster!

Welcome along to the roster. Firstly, I'd like to apologise for my inactivity as of recently... I've been rather busy in real life, and to be honest... I SHOULD be revising for my exams on Thursday... Heh. However, I am getting some revision done over the next few days, so hopefully... All should be good.

Hey, I'll just keep saying this: Shut up, you don't have to apologize every time you go inactive for a couple of days :)

Secondly, I'd like to officially welcome you all to the 1st day of spring. Yes, March is upon us and the bird shall start to sing, the grass will grow and we should all wake up with the sun beaming through our windows!

Fuck you, northern hemisphere! Here it's always too hot, it's getting colder each day but still mosquitoes won't leave me alone! I'm going crazy >:(

So yeah... I've been a busy Lizz, and I shall continue to be up until about June time. BLEH! Oh well. Haha. You guys enjoy the roster... I kinda rushed through it, so I do apologise if anything is wrong or out of place :)

Hey, if you're too busy remember that I'm still here and I can take care of the roster if you want to ;)
When you're not too motivated, doing something like this can be annoying, so if you ever feel like you're fed up with it, just tell me and I'll start taking care of it again ;)

Enjoy!

Milestones:
Coop83 - 24k Blams, 70k B/P
EagleRock - 22k Saves
DumbassDude - 21k B/P
Lizzardis - 11k Saves, 13k B/P
Sushi13 - 4k Saves, 7k B/P

Promotions:
DumbassDude - Lt. General
Sushi13 - Master Sergeant

Congrats to all of you! Keep up the good work!

The List:
No. B/P / Gain / Average / Change / Username
20] 07,719 | 0,299 | 09.6 | + 7.65 Ismael92 Mas. Sgt.

I know that my pace may be slow but last week I started B/Ping again and I even got 60 B/P in one day. Maybe this month I can make it to the top gainers list?

Top 5 Gainers
ByteSlinger - 1,451
Coop83 - 1,291
EagleRock - 1,244
Sushi13 - 1,068
Aldlv - 765

Congrats!

Top gainers, repeat appearances: byteslinger (14), Coop83 (13), EagleRock (6), aldlv (4)

Congrats again!

Are you kidding me?!

• 

  by <deleted>

  Under Judgment

  (Everyone)

Stolen from:

• Unsuitable Submission

  This submission contains age-rated material and requires an account to view.

At 3/1/10 11:32 AM, Lizzardis wrote: Barracks Roster 1st March 2010
Well hello there everyone! I hope you are all well and in good health!

Hi, Lizz! Thanks for another great roster update. We certainly do appreciate it.

Welcome along to the roster. Firstly, I'd like to apologise for ...

No apologies are needed. We know you have a life outside of NG, and some of us are even a little bit jealous - but it's nothing you should feel sorry about!

Secondly, I'd like to officially welcome you all to the 1st day of spring...

Um, Spring isn't here until March 20th. It's still winter, the weather still sucks, and the damn birds are hiding. Talk to me about Spring on the next update...

Yes, I'm miserable... And what? Haha.

You're too young to be miserable. Hell, you shouldn't even be cynical until at least 23.

It's nice to see the activity in this thread pick up a bit and not fall. I've seen it a few times when no-one has commented for about a day or two, I'm glad we didn't go inactive for a while.

Oh, like I can keep quiet for more than a day? Good luck with that hehehe...

So yeah... I've been a busy Lizz, and I shall continue to be up until about June time. BLEH! Oh well. Haha. You guys enjoy the roster... I kinda rushed through it, so I do apologise if anything is wrong or out of place :)

If you apologize again, I'm gonna slap you!

Enjoy!

Oh, I shall, I shall indeed...

Milestones:
Coop83 - 24k Blams, 70k B/P
EagleRock - 22k Saves
DumbassDude - 21k B/P
Lizzardis - 11k Saves, 13k B/P
Sushi13 - 4k Saves, 7k B/P

Nice! Congrats to all of you!

Promotions:
DumbassDude - Lt. General
Sushi13 - Master Sergeant

Welcome to the next rank, soldiers! *Salutes*

Entering the list:
None :(

Well, at least no one is leaving...

The List:

Busy Busy Busy...

No. B/P / Gain / Average / Change / Username
04] 48,820 | 0,136 | 04.4 | + 0.90 Little-Rena Sup. Com.
05] 46,501 | 1,244 | 40.1 | + 6.68 EagleRock Sup. Com.
06] 46,087 | 1,451 | 46.8 | - 1.77 byteslinger Sup. Com.

Uh oh - looks like our illustrious leader has slowed down a bit. Guess that construction work in his basement is taking longer than he thought. My month was a bit off for me - but that's what happens when real work gets in the way of monitoring the portal.

Top 5 Gainers
ByteSlinger - 1,451
Coop83 - 1,291
EagleRock - 1,244
Sushi13 - 1,068
Aldlv - 765

I see the new fish (pun intended) has made an impressive start. Keep up the good work!

Top gainers, repeat appearances: byteslinger (14), Coop83 (13), EagleRock (6), aldlv (4)

The usual suspects - the ones with no social lives and nothing better to do on a Saturday night *sigh*

Total Gain for the month = 9,688
That's 346 points per day, or 9.1 per day per member.

Glad I could pull my weight!

February Update.

Any problems with the roster or your stats, just say so and I will correct it. If you choose not to reply back in the thread, you can always PM me and I will sort it out ASAP.

Thanks again, Lizz. I will update the EGB website shortly with this latest info

*Salutes*

At 3/1/10 11:32 AM, Lizzardis wrote: Barracks Roster 1st March 2010

Lovely.

Secondly, I'd like to officially welcome you all to the 1st day of spring. Yes, March is upon us and the bird shall start to sing, the grass will grow and we should all wake up with the sun beaming through our windows!

It really was a nice day today, after school I went by the lake and took my homemade sketch booklet and you know, sketched things.

Milestones:
Coop83 - 24k Blams, 70k B/P
EagleRock - 22k Saves
Lizzardis - 11k Saves, 13k B/P
Sushi13 - 4k Saves, 7k B/P

Congrats!

Promotions:
Sushi13 - Master Sergeant

Congrats! Never properly welcomed you to the barracks, so welcome! Hope you B/P good and proper and raise up in the ranks, while I maintain the lead in the Gamerscore leaderboard :D

No. B/P / Gain / Average / Change / Username
11] 27,624 | 0,049 | 01.6 | + 0.32 idiot-buster Com.
12] 21,510 | 0,710 | 22.9 | - 15.32 DumbassDude Lt. Gen.

HUGE GAP ALERT! Looks like I'm going to be number 12 for awhile.

Top 5 Gainers
ByteSlinger - 1,451
Coop83 - 1,291
EagleRock - 1,244
Sushi13 - 1,068
Aldlv - 765

Usual suspects, congrats! I find it quite funny how I was pretty close to the top 5, and remember days were I could have gotten a lot B/P but chose not to, ah well.

Top gainers, repeat appearances: byteslinger (14), Coop83 (13), EagleRock (6), aldlv (4)

Hah, going to try and get back on this list, that is if I don't find excuses not to be B/P. Never thought I'd hear myself saying that.

Oh god dammit I just got promoted to Sergeant 1st Class just a couple of hours late for the roster update. At least it means I'll show something next month seeing as I'm now on +1500 B/P for promotions.

At 2/28/10 07:20 PM, byteslinger wrote: There is, unfortunately, quite a bit of truth in that story. I did lose a husband to a drunk driver, and I did have a bout with cancer a while after that which rendered me sterile.

Oh damn, I am so sorry for you loss Byte. I know you said not to feel sorry for you, but tat just seems like fate dealt you an incredibly unfair hand. :(

Was the cancer malignant or benign? If it was malignant, I hope it wasn't metastatic or in the late stages. My dad's mom died of breast cancer complications when I was 6. I am just so damn sorry all those hardships were dealt your way. *sniffles*

At 3/1/10 11:17 AM, EagleRock wrote: Whenever I think of NASCAR, I'm cursed to now think of Pixar's Cars. I then think about the awesome cameos they pulled for that, and wonder why they'd bother to get Michael Schumacher to play a Ferrari. As if most 6-year old American kids know who the hell Michael Schumacher is. Actually, I doubt they know who Richard Petty is, either. Or what a 440 Superbird is. Or why it changed NASCAR forever. Or why the rice rocket with the 7-tier spoiler is funny.

*Looks around at everyone staring at him*

Ok, you got me on the rice rocket part. o_0

Wow, am I getting bitter. *goes to shop for coveralls and a pitchfork*

WHA?! I done thought rednecks didn't live in the north?! Y'all been hidin or what?

If a cop asks for identification and you show him your belt buckle, you might be a redneck.
If you've ever mowed your lawn and found a car, you might be a redneck.
If your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade, you might be a redneck.
If your lawn has more cars on it than blades of grass, you might be a redneck.
If you've ever taken an inner-tube up a ski lift, you might be a redneck.
If you've ever had to take a paint can up to a water tower to defend your sister's honor, you might be a redneck.
If people keep ringing your doorbell mistaking you're having a yard sale, you might be a redneck.

And lastly, If you have more guns than teeth, you might be a redneck.

If you've ever had your nipple bitten off by a beaver, you might be a redneck.
If you think N'SYNC is where your dirty dishes are, you might be a redneck.
If your family tree DOES NOT FORK, you might be a redneck.
If you've been married 3 times and still have the same in-laws, you might be a redneck.
If you work without a shirt on and so does your husband, you might be a redneck.

Those are all by Jeff Foxworthy.

If you've ever sewed yourself up rather than cut the fishing trip short, you might be a redneck.

This is one from the John Boy & Billy Big Show "Hoyt Fishing Accident". I don't know the album name, but it's funny. It was a morning radio show that used to be played on 100.3 The Buzzard, which is now 100.3 The New Buzz here in NC.

At 3/1/10 11:32 AM, Lizzardis wrote: Barracks Roster 1st March 2010

17] 09,065 | 0,039 | 01.3 | - 0.48 SupraAddict 1st Sgt.
18] 08,593 | 0,404 | 13.0 | - 3.13 SlntCobra1 1st Sgt.

^
|
|

HAHAHA!!!! 404!!! ERROR 404, GAIN NOT FOUND!

ROFL!!!

Top 5 Gainers
ByteSlinger - 1,451
Coop83 - 1,291
EagleRock - 1,244
Sushi13 - 1,068
Aldlv - 765

Top gainers, repeat appearances: byteslinger (14), Coop83 (13), EagleRock (6), aldlv (4)

Aw dammit! Oh well. Let's hope I can get on the top 5 this month. Sucks when your portal gets block'd!

Also, the pic goes along with my 404 joke! ^_^

phew, I'm done. Oy!

At 3/1/10 11:17 AM, EagleRock wrote:

At 3/1/10 10:09 AM, Coop83 wrote:

At 2/27/10 09:27 PM, byteslinger wrote: 'When I was 17, I could eat 3000 calories a day and not gain a pound.

I must be having a bad day - I seriously thought that there was an anecdote coming in there somewhere, but I'm over that now *returns to original preconceptions of how byteslinger looks*

I was laughing my ass off when I read Byte's little tirade. I'm at work, too. *dodging copious amounts of stares from those around me*

It's when you fall about laughing or are shocked by something. That's nearly got me into trouble a few times, but I think I'm still alright.

Exactly - I much prefer the idea of saying it in an upper class English accent.

Whenever I think of the Queen's English, I think of George Carlin talking about social situations where he says (in an accent), "Lovely party, Jeffrey, but there's a turd in the punch bowl."

Actually, turds in the punch bowls can be a rather common problem. Sadly, Parliament will not legislate against it, so we cannot really take appropriate action.

Actually, I doubt they know who Richard Petty is, either.

It just reminds me of "Smokey & The Bandit" - Bandit (Burt Reynolds) asks Frog (Sally Field) if she knows who Rickard Petty is. She shrugs. He says "Now it all depends where you're standing in the country as to just how intelligent you are."

Yeah, we're divorced, but we're still cousins.

If a cop asks for identification and you show him your belt buckle, you might be a redneck.

Rednecks are ahead of the curve - some of them show their arms as ID and in a few years time, we'll have microchips embedded under our wrists ;)

At 3/1/10 11:32 AM, Lizzardis wrote: Barracks Roster 1st March 2010

Thanks for the update, Lizz. Nice work.

Milestones:
Coop83 - 24k Blams, 70k B/P

Woo, top of the milestones list :) Congratulations to al of the other achievers this time.

The List:
No. B/P / Gain / Average / Change / Username
01] 76,629 | 0,010 | 00.3 | - 18.87 Phantom Sup. Com.
02] 70,571 | 1,291 | 41.6 | + 2.39 Coop83 Sup. Com.

Surging past 70k and gradually climbing my way toward Phantom. I'll get there soon enough. Still a couple of reprobates on the B/P list to pass before him :P

Top 5 Gainers
ByteSlinger - 1,451
Coop83 - 1,291
EagleRock - 1,244
Sushi13 - 1,068
Aldlv - 765

Well, it's getting a little cosier in the top 5, with Eagle flying really close to me this time and Byte even slowing down to let us catch her up a little :P

Top gainers, repeat appearances: byteslinger (14), Coop83 (13), EagleRock (6), aldlv (4)

13 months straight. Onwards to 14!

At 3/1/10 11:32 AM, Lizzardis wrote:

29] 04,294 | 0,003 | 00.1 | + 0.06 KingExodus Cpl.
30] 03,901 | 0,035 | 01.1 | ???? MultiCanimefan 1st Pte. 1
42] 03,894 | 0,093 | 03.1 | + 0.00 Zornkatzu 1st Pte.
32] 03,855 | 0,011 | 00.4 | + 0.32 Andrea364 1st Pte.
33] 03,588 | 0,007 | 00.2 | - 0.71 A-Wahl 1st Pte.
34] 03,537 | 0,005 | 00.2 | - 7.23 BabiesAteMyDingo 1st Pte.
35] 03,506 | 0,011 | 00.4 | + 0.10 silentisdeath16 1st Pte.
36] 03,483 | 0,007 | 00.2 | - 0.29 KidneyThief 1st Pte.
37] 03,424 | 0,145 | 04.7 | - 0.16 Sheizenhammer 1st Pte.
38] 03,009 | 0,000 | 00.0 | - 0.03 puddinN64 1st Pte.

Huzzah for failure!
I'm back again from college and I can finally use my laptop in college so expect much more of me.

Holy CRAP! Where'd you come from!? I almost forgot you were part of the EGB.

o_0

At 3/2/10 03:45 PM, KingExodus wrote:

At 3/1/10 11:32 AM, Lizzardis wrote:

29] 04,294 | 0,003 | 00.1 | + 0.06 KingExodus Cpl.

Huzzah for failure!
I'm back again from college and I can finally use my laptop in college so expect much more of me.

Who said The King was dead? Long Live the King! Long Live the King!

Just think - at 3 B/P per month, you will reach Supreme Commander by March 17th, 2724. Better pass on your account to your kids (and grand-kids and great-grand-kids)!

Welcome back!

*Salutes*

At 3/2/10 05:00 PM, byteslinger wrote:

At 3/2/10 03:45 PM, KingExodus wrote: Huzzah for failure!
I'm back again from college and I can finally use my laptop in college so expect much more of me.

You're 17? College in the US typically starts at 18. Unless there was a meeting I missed somewhere along the line.

Just think - at 3 B/P per month, you will reach Supreme Commander by March 17th, 2724. Better pass on your account to your kids (and grand-kids and great-grand-kids)!

How in the hell did you come up with 2724?!

At 3/2/10 05:00 PM, byteslinger wrote: Just think - at 3 B/P per month, you will reach Supreme Commander by March 17th, 2724. Better pass on your account to your kids (and grand-kids and great-grand-kids)!

Actually I'm getting now about 20 B/P a day.
Any know when the portal is the most populated with flashes?

At 3/2/10 07:35 PM, KingExodus wrote:

At 3/2/10 05:00 PM, byteslinger wrote: Just think - at 3 B/P per month, you will reach Supreme Commander by March 17th, 2724. Better pass on your account to your kids (and grand-kids and great-grand-kids)!

Actually I'm getting now about 20 B/P a day.
Any know when the portal is the most populated with flashes?

I know I'm not in the EGB but in the NGPD, but I thought I'd just answer this. As a flash developer, I always want the most people to see my flash, the most people are usually on friday afternoons and over the weekend. thus this is when most people post their flash.

Yea, think of the Portal as a movie theater. When are people gonna want to see a movie? On Friday of course. Also, this allows the box office to rake in as much moolah as possible.

Horatio: That's a wrap.

YEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

meet the new boss
same as the old boss

see what I did there?

• 

  Ninja Rinseout 666games

  by Lukaskin

  Use stealth, timing and your sword to move along some enemies and rescue the girl!

  Game

  7,384 Views

  (Ages 13+)

This has been online for years. I'm not a barracks member, but I'm highly suspicious that the guy uploading it wasn't the author and didn't get actual permission. Does anyone know how to confirm/disprove this?

At 3/2/10 06:54 PM, SlntCobra1 wrote: You're 17? College in the US typically starts at 18. Unless there was a meeting I missed somewhere along the line.

Didn't I already go over this?
I'm basically already an incredibly smart physicist for my age.
I will be one of the greatest physicists since I got into Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
It was either this school or Stanford but it turns out I'm in one of the most advanced schools on earth.
I have a 107 average.
Or known as being an over-achiever.
God I hate being a fucking genius.