I'm no talent when it comes to poetry but I did work hard on this particular piece. I would just like to note that it was in fact inspired by Jesus himself so if you decide to diss it, you're taking our lord's name in vein.

Fetish Maximas

Tube of lube in one hand
Bicycle spoke in the other
As he wanders gleefully
Trying to find an expected mother

I don't know how he gets the kicks
Out of something so sick and twisted
If there is a point
I have definitely missed it

Not knowing what to expect
We all sit here in suspense
And wonder how this all fits into context
Who will it be next?

The breakthrough has finely arrived
He has been spotted
While some prego is being deprived
Of her expected child

One swift jabbing motion
The penetration of a uterus
He shoves his penis in deep
As her vagina begins to bleed

The prego begins to sweat
Her face turns red
As the fetus gives me head
And with that said

Orgasm followed soon after.

lmao, you people are pretty perverse poets. :P I'll be joining this place anyhow.
(un)fortunatly I write within different genres, heres an intro

I joined the club for poets
I entered the dreadful place
Lurking in the shadows
With a a grim smile on my face

I read the posts were posted
I started from page fifteen
I didn't quote or copy
My first post was fresh and clean

I've been writing since I learned writing
And in July I truned eighteen
The sky is filled with lightning
The clouds rumble like a machine

Here at the grounds of the new
I'll words in poetic posts spew
Though my poems are all but perverse
I hope you'll be amused by each verse

I post. Toast.Cheers.
May you writhe in painful nightmares.

At 11/14/07 08:32 PM, LenardNotLenny wrote: Um... dude... you should go see a professional...

me? lmao thanks dude :) I'll write one just for you. (wink wink)

The Animosity of a new bred Atrocity

Inspired by zyklonB

I'm going to be known
For outdoing the word slaughter
I'm cut your fathers throat
And rape his fucking daughter
When her mother tried run
A bullet came and caught her
Next to the bathroom
Where her baby was drowned in toilet water

I don't give a shit about being caught
I just want to see her bleed
I really don't want to do this
Its just a urge and need
Theres not going to be any not guilty
Or NGRI plead
I'll confess to the jury of my sins
And the bloody hands of my dirty deed

A serial killer is what I'm inspired to be
To bury my victims alive
So that world wont see the fire in me.

I want to skin him alive
As he would scream in pain
but lay down some plastic first
So the blood doesn't leave a stain

I have two.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wish they knew, knew all those feelings, the ones that I couldn't put in words.

I wish, that these feelings, do not become words,
for they will lose the importance and glamour that clings to them as such.

I wish, that I knew these feelings as well, for I, myself, cannot explain...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I used to be very sad, for false hopes, which will come in due time.

I used to write things like these, but with more intention and muse.

Now, I wonder why I ever felt that way in the first place, as my
limits and aspirations are aimed at more of a possible goal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Woohoo!

Hello, new to this and I am looking for people to critique my stuff. I am looking for people who could help hone my skills, help me become better and learn the mechanics behind this art form.

Here it is.

Trapped is how I feel
in my life, its unreal.
TO know that when I was a kid, I had big dreams,
now to be stuck in Vegas, wondering if I will have enough money so I can eat.
I never thought it would come to this
being trapped in a valley of hell called paradise.
I thought I would land in history,
but now all I got is my misery.

I admit, I screwed up, most of
it is my fault. Yet it seems some days I got a dealt a bad hand,
grew up in a family with two of my kin insane and an overworked and absent dad.
All I got is my regrets.
Should have done this, should have not done that.
Because of my decisions, now these days I feel trapped.
Now all I am wishing for is someone give me a second chance.

At 11/21/07 05:21 AM, Jokeen wrote: Hello, new to this and I am looking for people to critique my stuff.

Hello! Critique :

The structure needs improving. Poetry needs to sound good, and this doesn't. Some lines are too long, some lines are too short. Otherwise it's good.

True, but I was looking more info on meter and feet and the like.

Question, is there any other poetry forums you guys reguarly visit and fiction writers too?

At 11/21/07 11:34 AM, Cyberdevil wrote:

At 11/21/07 05:21 AM, Jokeen wrote: Hello, new to this and I am looking for people to critique my stuff.

Hello! Critique :

The structure needs improving. Poetry needs to sound good, and this doesn't. Some lines are too long, some lines are too short. Otherwise it's good.

Do you have any suggestions for mine?

At 11/21/07 10:56 PM, Spaghetti14 wrote:

Do you have any suggestions for mine?

yeah theres not enough penis in it ad more

this is for my upcomming poem called- "Yellow Diarrhea" from the title i know you guys know that is gonna you know............be goood shit. ok critic my shit somebody

Since my birth
I've been living a curse
Snatching bodies from a hearse
And money from a purse.
I'm Devilishly the worst
Race me to hell and
I'll be the one to reach it first
Cause I'm willing
To admit to having a blood thirst
Collecting it in buckets
And soaking it up in shirts

Crashing over the curbing
In a black suburban
Chasing after the bottle of bourbon
While Wearing a piss soaked turban

I'll be the first to die
I'll be the first to steal from you pockets
And if you grab for me
I'll tear your arms out of their sockets
Killing anyone in range
That happen to step in the way of who my cock hits
Cause I'll suck the ring of your finger
Eating feces from humans mixed with hawk shits

I'm not neccecarily joining, but here a little improv...

Scilence in the iv'ry room,
save the sound of the fan,
embrodered with leather my fingers fly,
across the keyboard upon to newgrounds,
whilst creating a shamisen page.
Weaving dreams of melodies,
and wisdom of Nihon,
and finishing a peom that I have written.

Interesting... do you mind if I join?
I hope I need not pay a single coin.
I just want to practice my skill with rhymes,
and help aspirants with each of their climbs.

I joined Newgrounds in two-thousand-seven,
got music with lyrics posted since then.
'Tis already a long introduction,
any word more, and I'll kill the action.

At 12/6/07 01:11 AM, jnry3 wrote: Interesting... do you mind if I join?

sure go ahead.

AND AS I PROMISED YOU ALL WITH MY UPCOMMING POEM!!!

(YELLOW DIARRHEA)

A smell so terrible
A sound so fierce
The diarrhea is escaping so quickly
From my ass its bringing me to tears

The color is familiar
A beautiful color indeed
As I dig my feet to the bathroom floor
On my beautiful porcelain steed

My ass begins to burn
And I begin to cry
Because if I don't get of the toilet
I'm probably going to die

Please someone call 911
All I feel is terrible pains
Doing no justice to my pants
When it leaves my underwear with stains

My hands are trembling
While my hands fill with sweat
I'm forcing it so hard
I start to feel something wet

Oh no I pissed myself
Now the floors covered in piss.
Someones banging at the door
I think it might be my sis.

I hurry up quick
I wipe it up with a American idol towel
Now there's piss and shit stains
On the face of Simon Cowel

But oh shit that was my sisters
How am I going to get rid of this mess
Fuck it if I'm going to embarrassed
I'm going out undressed

( Stomps open door )

I have a friend
He is slightly retarded
I stuck him in the ass so hard
He would squeal as he farted.
He tries to get away
But I am soon to follow
Because he never spits it up
I make sure that he will swallow

He tried to snitch on me
Told his dad and mom
So I lit daddys matches with gas
And turned there house into a bomb
I cried at his funeral
But not because he gone
Because I cant take pictures anymore
Of him wearing his moms thong

Yes I'm as bad boy
Societies little criminal
But I clean up my crime scene
And keep my notoriety to a minimal
They say it was strange
How the house went up in flames
But nobody knows who did it
Or who to even blame

I'm getting jumpy
And even a little nervous
Not because I killed them
Its because I have to go to their service.
My shirts soaked in sweat
I'm starting to lose my cool
Will they ever catch me for my crime
How long will I be able to fool

THE COLD HEARTED (short poem about my fav. killer gacy's quote just twisted)_

I was arrested for a crime
Because I've never learned to behave
Not because I killed them all
because I had no license for their grave

-JOHN WAYNE GACY Jr.

My dick it burns
My dick it stings
Theres no telling
What my next piss brings

She was dirty bitch
Her name was sheral
But I fucked her bare back
Cuz she said she was sterile

I jumped on her quick
Cuz she couldn't have kids
But forgot of those infections
And all those new age stids

She made me bust a nut
When she told me to strangle her
So I leaned back a bit
And let my dick straight mangle her

But theres one thing bitch
That I'll never do
Is look in your eyes while we're fucking
And say I love you

So listen bitch
After I bust my load
Shut your fucking mouth
grab the money and hit the road

After its done
I don't wanna see your face
Because mouth wash isn't working
Against your filthy pussy taste

But remember the burn I had
It turn out to be blister
But its ok with me, because I
Transmitted it to your sister

Silver rain falls, and the Lonely One stands
forever betrayed by his common "man".
He feels what we feel, friendship and lust;
But here he is, broken by "trust".
Black crows circle the sky,
eyeing this man, praying He'll die
Blue earth, she is not safe
this is the one, the Epitome of hate
He fights against Nature, he fights against love

All the things he cannot have, he rids the world of.

Any good? Constructive criticism is much appreciated.

At 11/21/07 10:56 PM, Spaghetti14 wrote: Do you have any suggestions for mine?

The words are good, but the structure in yours too isn't very organized . . . just my personal opinion though, I like neat poetic structures that flow together nicely, poetry is boundryless . . .

At 11/21/07 01:32 PM, Jokeen wrote: Question, is there any other poetry forums you guys reguarly visit and fiction writers too?

Nah, this is the only forum. You could try rhymster.com and allpoetry.com though, they have forums. I just go there to submit my stuff tho.

Wow, no-one has been one this in awhile, I best contribuit something..
Here is one I made for a fellow Newgrounder.

I'll tell you the story,
about the other day,
When I finally found out,
my best friend was gay.
It was unbeilevable
He did just come out and say,
He had to physically show it,
in the worst kind of way.
Well I invited him over for
newgrounds and a movie,
During eash of the scenes
he moved closer to me.
This is not what I wanted,
If you thought so you were wrong.
I just wanted to gets some blam points
and watch king kong.
He finally pushed me abit to far
when he placed his hand on my ball bag
I said 'oh my god, What the fuck!'
He say 'hey don't dis my dad.'
All of the sudden the walls lit up
he smiled and said 'lets have some fun!'
I tried to resist but I couldn't move
He really was the lords son.
Halos acted like handcuffs
and chained me to my bed,
Jesus really took control
when he was giving head.
He made a earthquake in my room
forced me to say he was 'boss',
I'm not religeous but...
I thought he got nailed to the cross.
Maybe this is his 2nd coming,
Or could be the first this time.
But each load of his was just as much,
and all tasted like wine.
At first I was in pain,
But then I was totally numb,
no-one beileves my story
of when jesus took me up the bum.
All of the sudden he vanished,
after about an hour.
I didn't if he was coming back,
to show me more of his power.
My blanket were a mess,
My mum thought I was a drunk.
She didn't beileve the wine smell
was left over jesus's spunk.
Sometimes I do pray,
But only to tell the lord,
That jesus can come over any day
If he is kinda bored.

That ones pretty funny :P
Here's one of mine that i made a while ago when i was in jerusalem, it's rather short...
Jerusalem Taxis

Taxis, vultures,
Biding their time,
Waiting,
Until,
*Snap!*

P.S. If you've ever been there, they really are like frickin vultures. Anything to get a shekel. Ridiculous, but it's their culture. Sigh...

Sonnet #1
Context: The End of A Date

Before you say "Goodnight"

And after, my daughter, you will go home.
Then He will stand near, staring at my door,
Unnoticed by you, you'll stare at the floor.
Now here, He's watched close by the garden gnome,
Who at once knows, for he has heard this po'm,
Many times before, and now lives the lore.
Though recently, his eyes have seen it more,
Many times before, in many a tome.
You ask him in, believing he's laid bare.
'So sweet,' you think once, 'So cute yet so coy,'
You naïve girl, you don't know you've traded
For the man standing behind the boy.
And I fear this has become not so rare.
Lo! Tis the monster you have created!

Sonnet #2

Context: None

The Race

We agreed to sprint up the mountainside,
a race neither of us wanted to run.
For at its end, neither of us had won,
Because our path back down had been denied.
"If this don't stop, I'll jump to death!" I cried,
to the hot knives of light thrown by the sun,
and I wondered how my friend had them shunned,
just ahead, how was he able to hide?
Then I see, on my friend, a curtain drawn,
I rip it aside as I hear him pant,
and I know now that since I will not stop,
he won't. He prepares to do what I can't.
I take one more step and my friend is gone.
My shadow had beaten me to the top.

Haven't been here in a while. I write this song for the girl I love. I call it "Free To Be Together". Reviews or edits please?

Every time I'm down,
You help me up.
Every time I frown,
You help me turn it upside down.

Because I love you,
And you love me,
And just like love, we could be,
Free to be together.

If we ever fight or tell lies,
We should always compromise.
Patch the problem, solving it,
Do it right, and we will fit.

Because I love you,
And you love me,
And just like love, we could be,
Free to be together.

Hmmm... well, I've posted all my recent poems on my blogspot blog. So please take a look. Leave comments or whatever.

http://sniperram.blogspot.com/2008/04/po ems-lots-of-them.html

I write poetry (see blog), but I also write for you, if you'd like a little something let me know on my userpage. I can't promise to write wonders, but if you're trying to woo a 28 year old Asian F, then I know what *I* like to read :)

I also love to read 'real' poetry, at the moment I really enjoy Scott.

can i join the club
a poem i made, although it is french.

Être Des chaussettes,
Avoir Des chaussettes,
Manger Des chaussettes,
Veut Des chaussettes.

Untitled:
The grass between her toes moves,
While the dew sings on each blade,
The Wind whispers, touches her,
Sun streaked hair blows across her face,
Twice that day i saw her cry,
Twice i saw her smile.
That day is long forgotten,
By all but me...

Untitled:

We shared more than a smile,
But tears ran through our hair,
I saw her eyes,
She saw mine,
Green...Blue...
Couloring the sky with hues and shades.
watching the horizon disappear beneath our gaze,
Watching it die...

Hey folks, I really love poetry and Ive written some poems recently but my faviroute most meaningfull poem would have to be "leisure" by W.H Davies.

hey, could i possibly join. Sorry if my grammar isnt all there but grammar and litriture are not my strong points.