Felt a little too inpersonal to me...try again, excellent theme, but just felt...too cold for my liking

A little something that was boiling under the surface for a little while.

I can only see my problems today.

My mother in tears, My father the one causing it.

MY sister taking peace and quite, and beating it to death

quicikly and efficiently. She's had a lot of practice.

My brother holds up his wallet.

He offers it to me.

Its becomes ash in my hands,

Oh right, that would be a good thing.

Breakfast, my bread and butter.

Literally.

my sister is in trouble. SHe calls me over.

She stabs me in the back, and again in the front.

I return to my haven.

When I return nothing has changed.

NO one noticed I was gone.

I lean back and wait.

I hear a ring in my ears. And an angel's voice is heard.

For a moment, and then its gone.

I can only see problems today, and now I'm fucking blind.

WOW, what a very bleak poem you have there sir...Nice that you express yourself on paper and on the screen...very powerful emotion, and I sincerely hope it goes better for you soon..

ITs not that bleak I mean look at the ending. My day does have its high points.

At 6/19/07 02:36 AM, EvilerBowser1001 wrote: Felt a little too inpersonal to me...try again, excellent theme, but just felt...too cold for my liking

Thats fine, thanks for the imput though. I will post another one when I have more time to type it all.

Fail:

One day I got high
My heart was ready to die
So I ripped out my dads guts
Then took his nuts
I swing by with a hatchet
I'm just like ratchet
I cut out there tounge
And I replace it with there lung

Sounds good but its not really my style. I will be posting more from my mind here shortly. Keep an eye out for it and let me know what you think! :)

Poetry club. Sweet. Can I join? Here's a sample of my poetry..

As I stand on that corner,
in the dark,
in the cold,
in the chilling winter air,
I await your arrival
Yet still you're not there.

They must be lieing..
It can't be true..
You doubtlessly love me,
Love us- me and you..

A promise so sincere,
It glowed in your eyes..

As I stand here I see you're just
packed.
full.
of.
lies.

At 7/2/07 09:36 PM, anime-shorty003 wrote: Poetry club. Sweet. Can I join? Here's a sample of my poetry..

I think its alright if you join and nice piece of work there! I'll be submitting more work from myself later today so everyone can let me know what they think of it. :)

I'll join. Here's a poem of mine. It's called "Watching the Elements".

Watch the fire.
Watch as it's red flames dance,
In the cold, crisp winter sky.

Watch the water.
Watch as it rolls along down,
On the water's riverbed.

When war came between fire and water.
The flames rose high, but the water ceased the flames.
Flames turned into smolder. Smolder fell to steam.
It's burning support - glazed with water.
The liquid nature wins again.

I want to join.

Aw, no one's been posting on here for awhile. I really want to see this club alive, but it's not looking so good..

Here's something I just wrote:
----------------------------------------
-------------
Waiting.
Waiting for that moment,
That day,
That opportunity,
That someone.
Waiting.

Coming.
It's coming in a week,
A flash,
Faster than a second,
Approaching.
Coming.

Patience.
Ultimate self control,
Mind set,
Confined to a limit,
Self-contained.
Patience.
----------------------------------------
-------------

Yeah, I just felt like making something based around a constant meter. Hoorah.

At 7/15/07 11:37 PM, KipptheCool wrote: I'll join. Here's a poem of mine. It's called "Watching the Elements".

That's a really great poem you made. Nice use of imagery, and I love the concepts of elements and nature. That's awesome.

I want to join.

I'm sure it'd be ok if you did. Just try posting a poem you've written and try to keep this club active.

At 7/15/07 11:37 PM, KipptheCool wrote: I'll join. Here's a poem of mine. It's called "Watching the Elements".

Welcome and nice work! :)

At 7/19/07 03:13 PM, Darkmistress11 wrote: I want to join.

I don't see a problem with you joining either. :)

At 7/24/07 12:59 AM, anime-shorty003 wrote: Aw, no one's been posting on here for awhile. I really want to see this club alive, but it's not looking so good..

Nice job, and I also have noticed that no one has been around too much as of recently. I will be writing another piece of work soon and I will post it here when done. :)

At 7/25/07 09:12 PM, ZyklonB wrote: although this may sound weird, Does anybody know a site I can post my poetry. I like writing poems about murder and viciousness but find it hard to use detail because I try to make the poems rhyme. I'm not sure if people would like my style here. I don't see it as emo because it doesn't use self pity. So may I join this club?

I don't know a site where you can post your poetry but you are more than welcome to join here and post your work. I look forward to seeing it. :)

I got another:

Lost sheep from the herd.
Unfenced animal souls.
Undomesticated and free.

Kids hiding from battle.
Seduced unfairly.
Glowing eyes, rippling tears.

Malicious attacks on the innocent.
Bloodthirsty monster.
Striving for power.

I got another - again. Holy shit, I'm a lean mean poetry machine right now.

Can you picture the last time you fell asleep?
The second your eyes shut into a temporary unconciousness?
There you prepare for the next day - an early morning's start.
The night grabs your heart and prepares it for an overnight rollercoaster ride.
This brings you through an adventure of various themes.
Good, bad.
Funny, sad.
Might make you happy or make you mad.
Jealousy, cunfusion and all the rest.
You wake to the charming voice of mother - waking you up for school.
Now there is a day ahead of you.
Shrug the night's exitement off and ready yourself for tonight.
A whole new scavenger of life's recollections.

What do you think? I think it's my best so far!

Here's a couple of small pieces I write yesterday.

HER
She dances in glowing lights.
Her hair - brushing the crystals of a vast night sky.
Her eyes twinkling - the jeweled stars of her ever so sweet face.

THE CREEP
Mumbling, hustling in my yard.
I watch closely and securely.
He's ripping through the weekly trash.
Taking candy from a baby.
Being mischievous. Negatively divine.

the bitch left me

But suddenly she looks so far away...

After being so close I could stare at her soul for hours
Looking at it on the other side of those big eyes, which now seem to be nothing more than shapes of void on an angels face
Like a beautiful canvas filled with rotten leaves and crude oil

After being so close I could hear her heartbeat fasten as my fingers glided to her reaching lips, craving for mine to the source of the beating, which now seem to have faded away
Like a dying scream

After being so close I could whisper in her ear and slowly see her smile widen a little by every word of love I spoke, which now seem to be meaningless sounds pronounced into space
Like birds flying for an unknown destination

But suddenly she looks so far away it's like a heavy fog has taken my sight

But suddenly she looks so far away it's like I have gone deaf

But suddenly she looks so far away it's like my words have to travel a thousand miles

But suddenly she looks so far away...

i wrote a really short one,and it might sound like crap, but it was fun :)

it's called mindscape

----------------------------------------
--------------
mindscape.

as i look through the windows
with my crooked old eyes,
but then i have seen
my one and only demise.

now i lay on the ground
the last minutes are here,
but i don't give a damn
'cause nobody will shed a tear.

as i fall into my demise
i see my life flash by,
then i see my mindscape
it's time to say goodbye.

my time has come here
time to leave this place,
but how can i leave this world like this
i realise "what a disgrace".

hey, can i join? heres a sample!

Steely Knives of the flat white tree
Tears a hole in my skin
There's a figure eyeing me in the doorway
And I look just like him
His eyes green as the ocean
They mimic the waters rough tide
His gaze pierces right through me
And I see how his passion died
He was afraid to show who he really was
So he hid his darkness away
The shadow that fallowed him left his side
Half of him died that day
The figure finally turned away
His eyes were done with the attack
Then I noticed my shadow was gone
That's the day my blood came out black
My reflection

At 8/30/07 09:39 AM, ZyklonB wrote:

At 8/29/07 03:23 PM, XkakiharaX wrote: i wrote a really short one,and it might sound like crap, but it was fun :)

it's called mindscape

i liked it but i feel like its missing something and was too short. was this about a old man dying with regret?, thats kinda what I got out of it. but good job i would like to see more

i'm not really good in poetry but it's fun to try something new ,maybe i'll make a longer one

Also if you dont mind me asking, what did "Steely Knives of the flat white tree- Tears a hole in my skin" mean?.

I liked this poem, gave me something to think about and i am looking foward to seeing more of your work.

thanks very much. Sttely knives of the flat whit tree tear a hole in my skin= papercut

its pretty much what u said, the fine details are he stairs into a mirror on the back of his door and see's himself, finally self reflects, and realizes all the shit hes done in his life.

At 9/1/07 12:43 PM, ZyklonB wrote: Heres one of my poems that i wrote for a moderator on ng's. i did it really quick in like 3 mins or so but decided to put it here. here you go

That was fucking hilarious!! o my god, thats great!

not a bad looking club. lotta emo-ish poems though, heres mine
I sit on the edge of society
Standing on the razor sharp wire
Between insanity and normality
I'm so far away
Yet i'm still affected
Away from the social groupings
Away from the drugs and lies
But i hear the cries
They want to be unique
And they are
Just like everyone else
Some become too normal
And just fade away
But some are cut by the razors edge
And fall into insanity
I sit on the edge of society
Miles away and still too close

Hell

Burn, burn, burn in hell
With the monsters that dwell
When your dead
They'll come to get your head
Then you'll see the reaper
He certainly is a creeper
Next you'll feel pain
All life will wain
I'm stuck in this cage
With so much anger and rage
My bones are crushed
and my heart is rushed.

Just somthing short and choppy before I go to sleep, don't mind the paragraph spaceing i'm to tired.

it can definetly be developed upon though. just needs some rythm

Wow, no-one has been one this in awhile, I best contribuit something..
Here is one I made for a fellow Newgrounder.

I'll tell you the story,
about the other day,
When I finally found out,
my best friend was gay.
It was unbeilevable
He did just come out and say,
He had to physically show it,
in the worst kind of way.
Well I invited him over for
newgrounds and a movie,
During eash of the scenes
he moved closer to me.
This is not what I wanted,
If you thought so you were wrong.
I just wanted to gets some blam points
and watch king kong.
He finally pushed me abit to far
when he placed his hand on my ball bag
I said 'oh my god, What the fuck!'
He say 'hey don't dis my dad.'
All of the sudden the walls lit up
he smiled and said 'lets have some fun!'
I tried to resist but I couldn't move
He really was the lords son.
Halos acted like handcuffs
and chained me to my bed,
Jesus really took control
when he was giving head.
He made a earthquake in my room
forced me to say he was 'boss',
I'm not religeous but...
I thought he got nailed to the cross.
Maybe this is his 2nd coming,
Or could be the first this time.
But each load of his was just as much,
and all tasted like wine.
At first I was in pain,
But then I was totally numb,
no-one beileves my story
of when jesus took me up the bum.
All of the sudden he vanished,
after about an hour.
I didn't if he was coming back,
to show me more of his power.
My blanket were a mess,
My mum thought I was a drunk.
She didn't beileve the wine smell
was left over jesus's spunk.
Sometimes I do pray,
But only to tell the lord,
That jesus can come over any day
If he is kinda bored.

Sweet! I'm sorry its not deep and emo'ish' like the rest of these poems on here :D LOL

Herez mine Bitches!!!

its called

"perverted outlocked emo Stage frightner!!!"

I cut off my penis
and threw it in a freezer
used my hand to fist fuck your mother
for the reason to pplease her

I bled her cooch in my mouth
and bagged up some of her pubic hair
Fell in love with a stripper
but was arrested for public pissing
I'm not pervert
just a stage fright emo on a mission

Sick sick sick
six six six
pulling crabs out my bush
as prostitutes play wit mah severed dicks

I've got a bag a toe nails
and a shoe box viscera
An army of lobotamized sodomizers
and a ceiling full of fans

Theres no rabbits in my hat
only a cuple of childrens fingers and candy
sodomizing little boys
cuz gacy was a fucking pansy

John sat on my 2fingers and licked
my lips clean
of two shots of heroin, 4 tabs
and a bag a\masculine

Im a sucka

heres a new one

my cock is so hard
my cock is so stiff
my ballsack smells weird
please take a whiff

The sweat on my testicals
drips down to the floor
As i masturbate to men
from the bottom of the bathroom door

My balls taste yummy
my balls taste good
skip to my ballsack
fuck the the pussy hood

My gooch has flavor
my gooch has a taste
and when you suck on me
I'll produce a gooey waste

Just open your mouth
and open your eyes
no girls are allowed here
only hairy guys

my shaft is beet red
from you jacking my dick
I have hiv so its ok if you have
drip

Now I'll end my story
with you eating my cum
blood is natures lubricant
so let me put it in your bum

IM A GENUIOS!! yeah boi

I call this one open minded stuck on the same track. its about how ill always fail at everything and reapet it the same way alwayus

yet another grease gun rap style flip flop eating mud pie poem
yet another grease gun rap style flip flop eating mud pie poem

this one intitled- sex with seductive animals

You had me at hello
but your dog had me at the door
As i could waft in the gruesome smell
of a dog with open pours

the dog happened to walk in
on me and her fucking
So i grab the dick of the dog
and me and her started a sucking

She swallowed it load
as i licked ball sweat
tescticals, ambulance
Two sheep moaw moaw

dingleberry time mary and said
daddy keeps snarling at the richardsons
will there ever be a day when i get to SHORT BREAD!1!!11!!!

Smelly telly had a bone
call myself when nobodys home
I grabbed her nose and fucked her dad
slit my dick off and pocket knifed her alien ant farm cd

i'm twisted like that fruit roll up lemon juisce
yet another grease gun rap style flip flop eating mud pie poem

this one intitled- sex with seductive animals

You had me at hello
but your dog had me at the door
As i could waft in the gruesome smell
of a dog with open pours

the dog happened to walk in
on me and her fucking
So i grab the dick of the dog
and me and her started a sucking

She swallowed it load
as i licked ball sweat
tescticals, ambulance
Two sheep moaw moaw

dingleberry time mary and said
daddy keeps snarling at the richardsons
will there ever be a day when i get to SHORT BREAD!1!!11!!!

Smelly telly had a bone
call myself when nobodys home
I grabbed her nose and fucked her dad
slit my dick off and pocket knifed her alien ant farm cd

i'm twisted like that fruit roll up lemon juisce
yet another grease gun rap style flip flop eating mud pie poem

this one intitled- sex with seductive animals

You had me at hello
but your dog had me at the door
As i could waft in the gruesome smell
of a dog with open pours

the dog happened to walk in
on me and her fucking
So i grab the dick of the dog
and me and her started a sucking

She swallowed it load
as i licked ball sweat
tescticals, ambulance
Two sheep moaw moaw

dingleberry time mary and said
daddy keeps snarling at the richardsons
will there ever be a day when i get to SHORT BREAD!1!!11!!!

Smelly telly had a bone
call myself when nobodys home
I grabbed her nose and fucked her dad
slit my dick off and pocket knifed her alien ant farm cd

i'm twisted like that fruit roll up lemon juisce
yet another grease gun rap style flip flop eating mud pie poem

this one intitled- sex with seductive animals

You had me at hello
but your dog had me at the door
As i could waft in the gruesome smell
of a dog with open pours

the dog happened to walk in
on me and her fucking
So i grab the dick of the dog
and me and her started a sucking

She swallowed it load
as i licked ball sweat
tescticals, ambulance
Two sheep moaw moaw

dingleberry time mary and said
daddy keeps snarling at the richardsons
will there ever be a day when i get to SHORT BREAD!1!!11!!!

Smelly telly had a bone
call myself when nobodys home
I grabbed her nose and fucked her dad
slit my dick off and pocket knifed her alien ant farm cd

i'm twisted like that fruit roll up lemon juisce
yet another grease gun rap style flip flop eating mud pie poem

this one intitled- sex with seductive animals

You had me at hello
but your dog had me at the door
As i could waft in the gruesome smell
of a dog with open pours

the dog happened to walk in
on me and her fucking
So i grab the dick of the dog
and me and her started a sucking

She swallowed it load
as i licked ball sweat
tescticals, ambulance
Two sheep moaw moaw

dingleberry time mary and said
daddy keeps snarling at the richardsons
will there ever be a day when i get to SHORT BREAD!1!!11!!!

Smelly telly had a bone
call myself when nobodys home
I grabbed her nose and fucked her dad
slit my dick off and pocket knifed her alien ant farm cd

i'm twisted like that fruit roll up lemon juisce
yet another grease gun rap style flip flop eating mud pie poem

this one intitled- sex with seductive animals

You had me at hello
but your dog had me at the door
As i could waft in the gruesome smell
of a dog with open pours

the dog happened to walk in
on me and her fucking
So i grab the dick of the dog
and me and her started a sucking

She swallowed it load
as i licked ball sweat
tescticals, ambulance
Two sheep moaw moaw

dingleberry time mary and said
daddy keeps snarling at the richardsons
will there ever be a day when i get to SHORT BREAD!1!!11!!!

Smelly telly had a bone
call myself when nobodys home
I grabbed her nose and fucked her dad
slit my dick off and pocket knifed her alien ant farm cd

i'm twisted like that fruit roll up lemon juisce

there is to much of a smell
liquifing itself itn my
yet another grease gun rap style flip flop eating mud pie poem

this one intitled- sex with seductive animals

You had me at hello
but your dog had me at the door
As i could waft in the gruesome smell
of a dog with open pours

the dog happened to walk in
on me and her fucking
So i grab the dick of the dog
and me and her started a sucking

She swallowed it load
as i licked ball sweat
tescticals, ambulance
Two sheep moaw moaw

dingleberry time mary and said
daddy keeps snarling at the richardsons
will there ever be a day when i get to SHORT BREAD!1!!11!!!

Smelly telly had a bone
call myself when nobodys home
I grabbed her nose and fucked her dad
slit my dick off and pocket knifed her alien ant farm cd

i'm twisted like that fruit roll up lemon juisce

there is to much of a smell
liquifing itself itn my

where the hell did my hat goes?
i wouldnt know there was no more enough of this
time out this is crazy
x-men never evere

where the hell did my hat goes?
i wouldnt know there was no more enough of this
time out this is crazy
x-men never evere

there is to much of a smell
liquifing itself itn my

where the hell did my hat goes?
i wouldnt know there was no more enough of this
time out this is crazy
x-men never evere

there is to much of a smell
liquifing itself itn my

where the hell did my hat goes?
i wouldnt know there was no more enough of this
time out this is crazy
x-men never evere

there is to much of a smell
liquifing itself itn my

where the hell did my hat goes?
i wouldnt know there was no more enough of this
time out this is crazy
x-men never evere

there is to much of a smell
liquifing itself itn my

where the hell did my hat goes?
i wouldnt know there was no more enough of this
time out this is crazy
x-men never evere

there is to much of a smell
liquifing itself itn my

where the hell did my hat goes?
i wouldnt know there was no more enough of this
time out this is crazy
x-men never evere

this one intitled- sex with seductive animals

You had me at hello
but your dog had me at the door
As i could waft in the gruesome smell
of a dog with open pours

the dog happened to walk in
on me and her fucking
So i grab the dick of the dog
and me and her started a sucking

She swallowed it load
as i licked ball sweat
tescticals, ambulance
Two sheep moaw moaw

dingleberry time mary and said
daddy keeps snarling at the richardsons
will there ever be a day when i get to SHORT BREAD!1!!11!!!

Smelly telly had a bone
call myself when nobodys home
I grabbed her nose and fucked her dad
slit my dick off and pocket knifed her alien ant farm cd

i'm twisted like that fruit roll up lemon juisce

there is to much of a smell
liquifing itself itn my

where the hell did my hat goes?
i wouldnt know there was no more enough of this
time out this is crazy
x-men never evere

Um... dude... you should go see a professional...