At 9/12/23 07:52 AM, vlsrb wrote:At 9/12/23 07:18 AM, Thetageist wrote:Best of luck. My dad taught me that one of the consequences of pursuing a degree you’re not really interested in is that you’ll enter an industry you’re not really interested in. Some creatives with a secondary interest in a more lucrative industry can do that as their day job and have artistic endeavors be a side hobby, but if you find no joy in your job at all, it’s probably gonna be harder to feel like sitting down and making art. I think you’re making the right choice.
Oof, this post just summoned me back to the thread.
As someone who has been finding very little joy in his job for years now, I can very much confirm that the dissatisfaction and hopelessness seep into every aspect of your life, including making art. I alternate between two modes at my job: sucking it up and giving it my all every working day, and feeling completely unmotivated and not doing anything at all. The former leaves me too tired to really do anything when I come home from work, but it's the latter that really kills me. When you just waste eight hours of your day doing nothing and then come home, whatever you want to do with your free time just... doesn't feel earned. Leisure time doesn't really feel like leisure, because it's not like you did anything at work. Soon enough you're just floating through your life, doing nothing.
I don't think I would be able to turn art into a career because I don't want to make a chore of something that I genuinely love. Having it be a side hobby and building up a following on a site like Newgrounds would be ok for me - not ideal, but ok. But I feel like I need to find purpose in what I do for a living in order to form a healthy core that all my hobbies and leisure activities will orbit around. I need to feel that my abilities are being put to use, that I'm achieving something and that I'm at least contributing to something with my work. To this day I've no idea what kind of job could provide those things for me. I've been struggling with it for ages and I really hope I'll make it out the other end someday, because it's no fun being in this tunnel.
I wanted to make a comment after reading this.
I used to post a lot at the forum Level1Techs, which used to be known as Tek Syndicate. It was newgrounds but for hackers, basically. Eventually the guy who ran the servers decided to clout grab when the owner wasn't looking and trying to do something stupid, and used that to kick him out and take control of everything. Only, all he did was make it a corporate shit hole and completely killed the community that was there. Where it used to be hackers building Halo Warthogs and CRT TV AIO computers, now its "my homework is hard, help" or "Googleable GPU Driver Issue #387683763876"
Eventually they got tired of me and kicked me out. ATP I'm fine with that, but at the time I was really angry because they were continuously trashing what had been previously established. Now wendell is getting ~interviewed~ and is getting cameos on channels like.... LinusTechTips! A place he's said he wanted to be rather than TS previously if he didn't run his own business.
So instead, his solution was to take what wasn't LTT and mash it into as close to LTT as he could manage. All he ended up doing was making a github boys club though, ands anything that would have gotten views in threads previously either goes completely un-noticed, or one person from the boys club social lounge comes in and actually blows your post up. Like I'm not even kidding when I say getting views on that fprum is as fucking retarded as establishing a youtube channel these days.
Back when TS was around, I posted my hacking projects and my blobs of thought that couldn't really go on facebook on there, and hell sometimes I made such a big deal post that they made an episode. And that wasn't very damn common.
........
Actually I went to go find the video I was thinking of, and its completely gone. I don't think it was in the TS library, I think it was in the L1T library, and its just..... gone.
See back in the day TS was like NG, like I said. If someone in the community started a company and did something cool, they showcased it, if there was a letter someone sent that was cool, it got read live, eventually all of them did though. Posts were showcased when they were a big deal, etc. _People Mattered_
but as they drifted away, more or less only wanting raw output like a corporate studio, more than a forum for hackers, it just became an awful depressing experience. It was like the worse apple got in reparability the worse the forum got in usability. It weighed a lot, and eventually was just impossible to use as a creative person.
All in all, the lesson here is to recognize the environment you're in. I absolutely couldn't ask fulp for a documents page, so my Documentation and Hardware Research will go.... well.... somewhere. Probably Lemmy / Mast, IDK yet. But I still want recognition, literally of any kind. I have a lot of random skills that are hard to use for much except hacking stuff, so IDK what else to do. Theres just..... no where for me to go. Been like that for years. TBH, its like peoples interest for me wained as much as their interest in their old tech.
But, atp for me, I plainly have to figure out do I even want to anymore. I have more interest in my skateboard right now than honestly ever opening a laptop again. I'm just burned.... maybe singed is more appropriate.