it's Xmas story time...ugh...
hohoho fuckheads...
A small light glowed in the dark room, it softly lit my face, chrismas had come and it sucked ass, not evry year, just this one, it all started okay but then I got replaced, by a whole bunch of people, just...replaced, evryone knows I'm around but noone cares, my legs move, I walk to the mirror to see my face, haven't shaven for a week, I stink of alcohol and weed, haven't slept for 3 days and I haven't took a bath in 2 weeks or so, I look, smell and feel like shit, in a shitty apartment becase noone has a job for me to do these days, my fist breaks the mirror, breaks me, my soul, my past...myself...
"You're shit...why did you let this happen?"
My voice whisperes, a few more hits and I calm down, the blood drips from my fist, hitting the ground...drop after drop after drop. The night falls and yet another cigarette bud falls to the floor, I decided to pay my old familly a visit, shaven, clean and sober...and even a present, afterall, I can't keep blamming them for the fuckups I made, my best suit, my best cigars, my best behavior.
Another great xmas party, good lights, good music, good champagne and evrything else, top of the line as usual, I greet a few old friends but I don't really talk to anyone, I didn't come here to talk, I see all the memories, the killing, stealing and stabing eachother in the back over a penny, just like they did me. A hand, a soft hand places itself on my shoulder, that parfume, I turn around and there she is, the most beautifull woman in the world, a woman I used to have, Tess, my black haired angel.
"Hello Tess."
The words escaped from my mouth, she smilled in return, she opens her mouth and then those soft words are formed from those perfect lips she used to kiss me with.
"Are you doing alright Joic?"
I smilled, I felt like shit but she was able to act as if she loved me, so I should be able to atleast act like I'm okay.
"I'm fine...are you still with Strauss?"
She nodded, it burned me to the hearth that after all we went trough she turned me down when I proposed and started fucking my boss, just wave and walk upstairs I tell myself and I did so, not much left to tell, I fond an empty room and lit a cigarette, I laughed a bit.
"So this is it huh Joic?Dead end...pfft...what the hell am I doing?Fuck those bitches, they're using my style, that makes them my childeren and they shouldn't make a move till I tell them to...But you let it slip and look where it got you...nowhere..."
I place the barrel of my colt under my chin.
"Hohoho fuckheads."
Pulling the trigger was easier then ever before, goodbye mafia, goodbye drugadiction, goodbye shitty apartment, goodbye Joic...you asshole.
The end.