At 5/17/11 04:23 AM, Turkeybean wrote: I'm still not going to kiss your fucking pinky ring.

My pinky is gonna be the last place I make you kiss buddy.

And you damn right that better not be a one fucking liner. Will wipe out all traces of your DNA if I see a fucking one liner in here. Put a price on your head and you're gone before breakfast, all cause you couldn't think of a fucking sentence, damn some *****s is borin.

MAFIA DEPARTMENT REASSIGNMENT
For the time being all sections of the mafia shall be scrubbed. All members are required to choose from the now only two remaining groups. BITCH and NOT-BITCH, please choose your position in accordance to with how you will be representing the Mafia. All departments are now subcategories headed by those choose to uphold them. Make your decisions.

Boris out.

so is there a story here or what cause if there is then i would over the summer i would make it into a big file for those who want to read it?

At 5/19/11 05:12 PM, kidd25 wrote: so is there a story here or what cause if there is then i would over the summer i would make it into a big file for those who want to read it?

If you wanna go through over 1500 pages account every story that's occurred by all means do it. I'll be sure to give you a warm heart full thanks once you've completed it all. It would probably be easier just to give you our cache of stories that we already saved, but i wanna make sure you get 'em all so go for it ; D

No really i'm fucking with you don't come back.

Sick of this damn page already! Like sitting here yelling at a loading bar to fucking load. Lucky for me I've still got my stash, and tearing through everyone's room in this deserted mansion has been holding me down, some of you fuckers are sick. Also took a shit under someone's pillow, not saying who though.

All of you.

It is truly how the mafia end with one man clinging on to what ever is left, cursing and hollering fighting not to give up what is already lost... sad story, but a true story from page one to the end where hard work and play has started, i won't tell the last man to give up, but to keep fighting keep hollering cause the mafia never dies...it just sleep with the fishes before swimming back up again/.

At 5/23/11 09:54 PM, kidd25 wrote: ...it just sleep with the fishes before swimming back up again/.

Right there is the difference between this club and you. The club will rise from the ashes, but you won't. Stop fucking posting in here. You were already told not to come back. For someone who claims to be able to read vast pages of history you can't seem to comprehend one simple command. Goodbye.

The lame 15 year old should stop talking about the fishes before someone actually ends up reeling his decomposed skeleton out of a lake in the woods. There's a lot of things we do to mamaluke's who pathetically post in here, ignoring them to me seems the most painful and effective treatment, but the best is the humiliation they do to themselves by sloppily banging on the keyboard before they press the post button, while people silently laugh at their dumb ass'.
We don't need your attention and we don't need you here. Do as your told and fucking stay out.

There's gotta be some awesome stashed around here somewhere. Already cracked all of the safes here, even in Ghost's room which oddly enough only had a bowl of salsa, a half eaten Chipotle burrito, and a kilo of yack. I'd go fuck around in the lab but then again I'm not the ideal person to be operating high tech equipment, especially while juggling two opened bottles of Jack.

And Triv try not to mind all the destroyed droids scattered all over the place. Tried my best to spare them, really. *CLICK, BOOM!, BZZZT, tssss.*

Hey Charlotte if you stop by and happen to be reading this make sure to bring your ass up in here so we can get it on. By get it on I mean I handcuff our legs together and see who can knock the other out first and carve their name in the losers neck.

Mafia Science Journal
Volume One, Issue Two

Mr. Trivia walked into the lab and received his daily briefing from an aggregator bot. The central computer's hard drive was found intact, so it was quite simple to restore systems such as Emergency Human Replication and Robot Assembly. The latter was especially handy to have online with a drunk and disorderly Russian wreaking havoc.
"Each new robot uses up to 90% recycled material," said the news bot, "if you count the reclaimed parts strewn about by Boris."
"Don't mention that to him or I'll have to rebuild you from scratch!"
The Teleport system, which gave Prower so much trouble - and an extra limb - required only a data cache clearing and recalibration.
Everything was going smoothly again...
Then lights flashed and klaxons sounded throughout the facility. "Warning! Hostile takeover in progress!" announced the laboratory mainframe. "Warning! Hostile takeover in progress! Activate self-destruct sequence!"
Damn it! Just when I had this lab restored, some asshole makes me blow it all up!
"Execute Program Omega," ordered Triv. "Authentication code Eight Three Kilo Mike Foxtrot."
"Code accepted, Mr. Trivia," replied the computer. "Please set parameters."
"Delay detonation until five minutes after my vital signs are lost."
That should be plenty of time to reach safety, but not enough for the enemy to disarm the system.
"Do you have any details on the threat, computer?"
"Affirmative. Godfather Ghost has gone missing, and Boris has assumed control of the Mafia."
"Wait, that's the 'hostile takeover' that prompted the self-destruct?!"
"Affirmative."
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Boris a Capo? I believe it's his job to step in if Ghost disappears. That's the point of a hierarchy!"
"Error, file not found. No record of 'hierarchy' exists in the laboratory database."
"But still," argued Mr. Trivia, "it's not like the Mafia was invaded. Why did you call for the self-destruct?"
"A threat has risen to power," answered the computer. "Protocol dictates that the laboratory and all of its secrets must not fall into the wrong hands."
"I don't like Boris destroying our equipment any more than you do, but he's not the enemy! Cancel self-destruct on my order. Authentication code Eight Three Kilo Mike Foxtrot!"
"Invalid code."
"Invalid, my ass! It worked just fine a minute ago!"
I don't like the sound of this, thought Triv. If this thing goes "HAL 9000" on me, I'm taking a sledgehammer to its CPU.
"Emergency Override, code Five Oh Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!"
"I'm sorry, I can't let you do that," replied the computer with the dreaded quote.
"You asked for it!" shouted Mr. Trivia, ripping open the mainframe access panel. He tore out the Central Processing Unit, the brains of the computer, and smashed it to bits with a five-pound sledge, borrowed from a nearby maintenance bot. At least it didn't call me "Dave."
With the mainframe taken offline, the self-destruct command was cancelled. Triv had to reroute the laboratory computer systems to his wrist-mounted super-computer until he could rig up a temporary mainframe using five laptops and a smartphone.
"Your attention please," announced Mr. Trivia. "For the time being, all input to the computer must be via a terminal keyboard. Voice commands will not be supported until I'm convinced that the AI won't become self-aware and try to kill us!"
As insane as it may appear, this is one more step back toward normalcy.

To be concluded.

Is the mafia for favors and doing favors for the OP or the godfather because I'm kinda confused on the concept of this club.

At 5/27/11 09:57 PM, J-Rex wrote: Is the mafia for favors and doing favors for the OP or the godfather because I'm kinda confused on the concept of this club.

If the concept alludes you, please choose a section of about 100 pages and read them. I'm sure that after this you would have learned more about the Mafia then I could have possibly told you, and in greater detail. Just in case you were wondering, we don't make house calls or do visitations for no purpose other then viciously robbing you and your fridge.

Triv.

*thumbs up*

short story contest anyone?

At 5/28/11 08:35 AM, Marsupial wrote: short story contest anyone?

Give it one more day to see if anyone else wants to join. If no one can find the time then it'll just be me and you doin shorts. Sure Prower will pop up eventually. But i'm in, I'd start today but i'm having trouble seenign with two eyes. yep, now both eyes are fucked up, we'll try this another day. bye

Shit story #1

Boris was once again in the bar, drinking and rummaging through all the the litter on the floor, his eyes lit up with glee as he looked down on the floor staring at three brand new shiny shurikens that just sat there as if they had fallin from the sky. Without hesitation he picked them up, spun around and with all his might threw all the three in no particular direction. Boris sat on the floor quietly after wards sulking as the three stars had all miraculously found their way to Boris' keg, which was now leaking to no end. As if hit by lightening Boris jumped up with a great idea, he had always wanted to work out and drink at the same time. He laid on the floor and began to bench press the keg as he drank the beer that flowed out of it. Once he was done he made himself a trophy, strapped C4 to it, and flushed it down the toilet to be taken care of at another time. He walked back to his stool at the bar, life was good.

At 5/29/11 11:09 AM, Boris-4-U wrote: Boris sat on the floor quietly after wards sulking as the three stars had all miraculously found their way to Boris' keg, which was now leaking to no end.

haha at first i thought the shurikens found their way to your leg, was thinking why the fuck you'd be working out while your leg was "leaking"

Yeah when a better idea comes to mind i'll be sure to bust out a short story. Keep trying to do chapters but usually say fuck it after the first three cause I got no more ideas. Short and sweet I like it.

Also I am going to begin to allow the posting of one liners. Penalties will not be issued unless your one liner if fucking retarded, so i'm expecting to be yelling at all of you. Good day.

At 5/29/11 05:26 AM, Boris-4-U wrote: Give it one more day to see if anyone else wants to join. If no one can find the time then it'll just be me and you doin shorts. Sure Prower will pop up eventually. But i'm in, I'd start today but i'm having trouble seenign with two eyes. yep, now both eyes are fucked up, we'll try this another day. bye

God, I have that problem almost every day and I don't even have to drink. I figured it'd have to be pretty soon I'd have to reply to all of this. I'm in motion to have things get back into the swing of things here.

May hasn't been a nice month for me. My dog died earlier this month, then some other bullshit happened and I'm just happy to get the fuck out of the month of May for the time being. On the brighter side, been playing quite a lot of LA Noire, so that might be able to hardcore fuel some awesome stories in general. :) For this short story thing, you can count me in, but I may not be able to produce one until like...Wednesday night possibly at the latest. But I'm game, so I'll throw my hat in haha.

Now, let's see....re-assignment eh? Well what do we- *BITCH and NOT BITCH* ....

Decisions, decisions....*ponders and waltzes off*

*CLICK*CLICK*CLICK*CLICK*

Boris pulled the empty gun away from his temple, "If only it was that easy." he thought to himself. Leaning over the bar Boris threw up for what seemed like forever. After wards he stumbled off back into the hallway to search for more bullets and blunts. "Always late these fuckers."

An annoying buzzing noise filled the room. Boris turned in his sleep, "baby please keep it down." he mumbled. The buzzing got louder and now Boris could feel something bumping into him, he felt it circling around but paid no mind at first. Following its patterned Boris slammed his fist down on the pest, feeling metal crush underneath his fist and cuts being to bleed finally stirred him awake. 'Poor lil thing, gotta stop destroying the only things keeping me company round here.' Boris thought to himself. It was only trying to clean up the mess of garbage Boris had fallen asleep in, "Shesh never had the munchies that bad before heheh." he said to himself.
It only took him 5 years but it finally occurred to Boris that by making use of the hydroponic systems that were used to produce crops in the mansion could also be used to grow the finest of grass. Boris noticed that the mansion was starting to become cleaner again, although he missed the flickering of the lights, occasionally he would shoot some out just for fun.

Boris had moved most of the furniture to the main lobby in front of the entrance; a couch a big screen a fridge and Ghost's personal chair now sat right in front of the door. Boris returned to his seat and began to roll himself a joint, he drank a beer after wards and turned on the tv.
It was gradually happening, but the somnolence was beginning to get to him, Boris was starting to see shadows, hear voices down the hall, he wondered if he was starting to lose it. He didn't care, he literally had all the time in the world, and if it came to it he would die waiting on the front porch. It was only yesterday that he had branded the initials NGM above his left nipple, he was too drunk to do the tattoo himself, he tried at first but instantly realized that was a dumb idea, fire and a coart hanger seemed like a smarter one. Plenty of times did Boris contemplate just leaving, getting behind the wheel and driving until the car, for whatever reason, was not able to move. He could never do it, he knew this was his only home.

He sparked his joint and began to toke. Jeopardy music ringing through his head.

Mars rose from his slumber with a groan and the driest mouth he'd ever had. He was sprawled on his bed covered in snacks and empty rizla packets. Mars stood, his eyes glazed and posture slanted. He fumbled around his corner of the mansion looking for some smokable substance for the acclaimed "wake 'n' bake" he so desired. Boris appeared to have smoked the last of the afghan kush the remaining mafiosos had shipped in yesterday
"Fucking Russian"
Mars located his phone and tapped at the dial button, attempting to call the source that had hooked him up so generously with the kush, he clumsily lifted the phone to his ear and spoke.
"Yeah...we're gona need more of that good shit buddy"
he said while chuckling, the ridiculous level of THC in his body still evident. Mars muttered the address and slumped in a nearby armchair and watched some random Korean film for the next half an hour or so.
The doorbell rang.
Shit that was quick
Mars headed down the massive marble coated stairway and swung the colossal oaken doors of the mansion open with the remnants of his strength, grinning. His eyes focused on the group on the other side of the door. 6 armed policemen, grinning back in unison. Mars had forgotten about the prank call to the police department he had made last night which at that point of time was the most hilarious idea. So today his most recently dialled number was that very same police department who he had invited so politely to the Mafia's humble abode. 2 officer's cuffed Mars while the other 4 spread around the house searching for incriminating evidence, the mafiosos had a particularly unfriendly history with the police and they only needed 1 concrete reason to throw them all in jail.
Mars smiled as he slid off his handcuffs with ease and felt for his pistol at the back of his trousers. This was going to be a fun afternoon

good Morning everyone from philippines

i want to join this club but how????

At 6/13/11 01:30 AM, ghostealth wrote: good Morning everyone from philippines
i want to join this club but how????

You can't join, no one can join. This club is for outstanding members which we have an abundance of, so sorry but you're about a year late.

On another note that wasn't a bad story Mars, if i'm feeling up to it or if I so happen to get drunk tonight I'll throw in another story for the hell of it. Wish I could see who was lurking in here so I could smack them up for bein bustas.

At 6/15/11 08:36 PM, Ocelot wrote: Thought I'd drop by and say hello. Maybe stick around a little bit. How is everyone?

Heheh hey there partner. Really isn't an everyone to question but I'm good same ol' shit different day, that seems to always be the case. Anyway welcome back.

jesus christ, this place is still up? it looks like you guys have gotten it started again, so what do you do here? exactly? wow, it's been a long time

At 6/18/11 09:12 AM, Strauss wrote: jesus christ, this place is still up? it looks like you guys have gotten it started again, so what do you do here? exactly? wow, it's been a long time

We...fucking..dooo...THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII INNGGGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSS

*Boris 3xplodes*

You don't even know where the fuck i've been >:(0 i'm tanked on everydifferent types of shit and i'm malfunctioning likea yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

You wanna know what we do? WE FUCKING LIVE!!!!!!!!!!

Oh damn, pcp's is one hell of a drug, amongst other ones :P lucky we really don't have a mansion, or the first thing Strauss would of seen coming back is me running around naked with a knife screaming for freedom. So yeah things really didn't change that much, except for attendance. Stories come and go along with old timers, I'm still here however, keepn it old school or as old school as i can keep it.

But yeah in a nutshell...we do "things."

Alright fruitcups line up!

Boris cocks his paintball gun.

Inspection time!
Hello anyone here?! I will find you come out come out >:)

Hello Mafia members I feel like I am ready to join as your newest thug member since I am level 12 and have a broken bottle to use.

I'll join, but how exactly r we gon' kno who need help?