So I've decided to review really really bad anime. Which, by the way, isn't hard to find. However, how do I tell the difference between good and bad anime. Well first I started with Wikipedia. Then I went on Google and just randomly searched until I got to the bad grammar section and preverted anime lovers. Most, if not all, was 4chan. Although I did manage to find my way into the underpits of the Internet. You know, that area that you are so ashamed to visit that you don't even tell your online friends that you went there.
The underpit represents an actual armpit. It smells, its hairy, and no one wants to see it.
When I found that place I also managed to find Kasimasi ~Girl Meets Girl~ which I just assumed was some yuri anime without any hentai.
But I was f***in wrong.
So I'll start off by reviewing it by 2 episodes in a row. If I'm lucky I won't have a tumor by the time I'm done watching all of this.
Episode 1:The Boy Who Transforms
*sigh*
This is what threw me off. The title. The title actually didn't pop up at first.
What started was a big eyed anime girl with red hair (which is a lie in Japan) sitting in some oddly short school girl outfit. All of a sudden another big eyes anime girl walks in. She starts to talk to the red haired one although there is no audio. She immediatly grabs her hand and whispers in her ear. Then she lunges and there is some shadow kissing. It's implyed, but you don't really see it.
ALL OF A SUDDEN GODZILLA RIPS THROUGH THE CEILING AND STARTS TO EAT THE ANIMATORS!
Actually I wished that happened. What really happened was some OTHER girl walks in and sees them kissing. She freaks out and this is oddly reminding me of Az's "Worst Porn Ever"
I learn later that this Red haired girl is Hazumo. A boy. No really. He's a boy who is climbing up a mountain because some girl rejected him.
I think Joe Lieberman knows exactly how he feels. Only instead of a girl it's the Democratic party. And instead of crying he just goes, "A BOODY BOO BOO BOO!"
Anyway, there's this whole incident where his friends, who names escape me. Well, actually, I just didn't care. Anyway I guess the names are Tamori-chan and Yasuna-chan. There are flashbacks where all "his" friends tell him to be a man and confess your feelings to Yasuna-chan. Which become the biggest irony in the world.
I use "his" in quotations because automatically, even though Hazumo looks like some pansie guy, sounds like a girl. They didn't even bother to try to get a male voice actor in. Which is ironic because whenever he transforms (which is a halarity on its own marit) they all are like "ZOMG HIS VOICE IS CHANGED!" Which is doesn't. He still sounds the same. Idiots.
While Hazumo is reflecting on a mountain and all his friends are looking for him all of a sudden it cuts to an alien ship orbiting Earth. Trust me this isn't the weirdest part. They start to crash land and it cuts to NASA. The weirdest part is that, what I notice is, the alien ship looks like a huge penis. Yup, a penis. Anyway...
All it does is say NASA. Then there are some people speaking English. BAD ENGLISH. I got the whole conversation here.
"We detected an Unidentified Flying Object. It's obviously man-made. The size is about 6,560 feet long (huge penis)."
"Within 3 minutes and 36 seconds. It will crash into ground."
"Recheck it! Don't you understand? We're not allowed to make any mistakes this time!"
"I'm afraid that that's the fact."
"All data prove exsistance."
"What the heck...? Aliens attack you say? EMERGENCY! A call to the president!"
I couldn't stop laughing. This anime was taking itself too seriously around this point.
Hazumo's friends go to his parents house and they freak out and do some really weird gestures. All of a sudden a woman appears. She is his teacher and has gone without a boyfriend for 35 years. That's a fact. Why? Because she constantly says it...in each episode. She falls in a hole and her legs stick up. This seems to be an ongoing gag. Oh well, I know why you don't have a boyfriend.
We cut back to Hazumo who see's a shooting star. He instantly starts praying for a loving relationship over and over. He still see's the star and wishes to be more manly and then the ship hits him and turns him into a girl.
Oh well, we all can't get what we wish for.
The ship magically appears over the sky and transmitts to every single nation on Earth. I'm not going into details, but this is what it basically says:
"We be speakin to you yo bout how we f**ked up an crashed. We hit this boy here'z and now he'z a girl. It's irreversable. Oh well, f**k you. Peace out!"
Then they leave and a naked Hazumo floats down to his friends when they see him as a girl. She wakes up and instead of freaking out about the whole event just smiles and closes her eyes.
The episode ends.
*twitch*
