So I'm sitting here in my underwear.
It's nice living alone. You can pee with the door to the bathroom open. You can pick your nose anytime you want. Fart and not have to apologize. I only have my own dishes to wash.
My sheets smell but there's no one around to complain about it. I can leave my laundry all over the place.
Yep. I am a total slob.
Aside from the fact that I'm hideously ugly and need to wear a bag on my head at all times, I'll be a bachelor for life because of all these benefits.
And I'm never embarrassed when I bring hookers over either and scream at the top of my lungs 'OOOOHHH YYEEAAA BITCH GET ALL THE FINGERS UP MY ASS'.