Reaching nearly 5,000 posts, (not much in the broad scheme of NG) I have learned a lot. I have seen the edges of the internet, and everything it has to behold. I have seen Goatse. I have seen Tubgirl. I have seen Harlequin Fetus. I have seen the Pain series. I have seen all that ebaums and albinoblacksheep have to offer. I have read and seen the much info and graphic violence you can get from Snopes, Ogrish, and Rotten. I have read every article the genius known as Maddox has written. In the 13 years I have had a computer, and the 5 years I've had internet, and the year plus I have had Newgrounds, I have learned much.
If you plan on locking or deleting this thread because it touches on the truth too much or offends you, go away
If you have to ask, "WHY IS WAIDFLUP'S TEXT SO SHINY", Go away.
If you have to ask, "WAI IS STAMPLER'Z NAIM IN PINK LOL", Go away.
If you get the urge to say "OGM IT'S 2 L0NG 2 READ LOL!", Go away.
If you feel the need to promote your bullshit forums/website, Go away.
If you have nothing to say, but say something anyways, Go away.
If you feel the need to act like a bad ass 24/7, Go away.
If you think it's a good idea to post advertisements on NG, Go away.
If you are planning on posting "OGM MAI FLAYSH WUZ BLAMZOR'D, Go away.
If you have to bitch "WAID DIDNAWT RED MAI EMAIL", Go away.
If you think we care about how hot your GF is, or if you don't even have one, Go away.
If you think we give two shits about your annoying sister, we dont, Go away.
If you believe everything you see on the internet, Go away.
If you feel the need to IM me after I dissed you on your topic, Go away.
If you decide to make a topic titled <insert genre of music> Sucks, Go away.
If you have to ask a stupid, bizarre, or vague question, Go away.
If you have a habit of making too many shitty parody topics, Go away.
If you have not yet grasped the subject of irony, Go away.
If you are an alt account, yet try and say you aren't, Go away.
If you make erroneous topics about your favorite show, Go away.
If you express your hate for hentai/yiff just to cover up the fact that you like it, Go away.
If you consider yourself a pyro, Go away.
If you have "666" anywhere in your name, Go away.
If you have numbers, grl, gurl, boi, sk8r, azn, hott, or any other bastardized form of retard English in your name, just because it's "Kewl", Go away.
If you can't follow these, it's probably best to get off the internet
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I know I can never know everything, and I don't claim to, but goddamnit, at least I know something.
No one cares how you act on the internet, because sitting behind your computer, you are a faceless nobody. Assumed to be a fat, prepubescent child with one hand in a bag of Cheetos and the other hand on his mouse, surfing the internet for hardcore porn. The art of sarcasm is lost among people, and much throughout the world. No one can ever take a damn joke, and no one can ever laugh at a joke. No one can see the humor in something because it's all too "Edgy" and "Controversial".
You can't slam a game console, or a handheld system, or a game just because you don't own it. You appreciate what you have, and look forward to what you'll get next, because you're one lucky son of a bitch to have all that you have. Have you ever bothered to change the channel from your cartoons and video games to see those less fortunate? They don't want your shitty PS2, Xbox, or Gamecube, they'd be thrilled for some food, but what do you care. The amount of food wasted that dribbles down your four chins, onto the front of your faded "Don't Make Me Go Zelda On You" T-shirt (5 sizes too small of course) is enough to feed a small Ethiopian family for a week.
As if being a wasteful, conceited, greedy little fuck wasn't enough, some of you go as far to be a bunch of elitist fucks. "I 0wn j00 in teh h4l0, j00 r t3h sux." as if the fact that you can kick my ass in Halo has any relevance to the real world, or that you can photoshop Bedn or an MS paint penis onto an old woman's face will land you a high-paying job. None of you ever bother to notice how insignificant some of the things you do are. No one really cares if you have a girlfriend or not, or if you smoke pot, or drink, so quit being a pretender. Even if people really do take it so serious and call people names for it, WHO FUCKING CARES. On Newgrounds, the only people who have power over you are the mods, and even they can't change you for who you are. Maybe you should take a break to walk outside, then come back later on.
While looking at the bbs, amidst the tons of "PHOTOSHOP ME LOL" and "BEST GEETAUREST EVAR" and "HOW DO I POST HERE" threads, there’s one thing that occurs damn near more than any other. " _____ Sucks". That's nice that you hate something so much, that you decide to dedicate a topic to it. If you spend any time on the internet WHATSOEVER, it should be obvious that you can and will be flamed. RAP SUCKS! Ok, that's nice, there are plenty of people who like it. Just because you have to say it, people aren't going to go "OH, rap sucks? Then I guess I should stop listening to it, even though I like it" If you go to make a topic, and think "This is a pretty subjective topic, lots of people are going to disagree" DON'T POST IT. No one really gives two shits and a fuck if you don't like Rap music because that's YOUR problem.
And then it reaches the mods. Lately, they seem all high and mighty, upholding the rules (with utmost force, mind you) yet they never fail to somehow break the rules THEMSELVES. I guess it's alright to ban someone for a week after making a spam thread, but when a mod does it, oh its perfectly fine because, hey, what do you know? I'm a mod. Hell, why not just remove the pretty green color from every mods' name, you all look and act the same to me anyways...
Runescape sucks. End of story.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
And remember,
You are not your level
You are not your B/P rate
You are not your batting average
You are not your Whistle rank
You are not your karma
You are not your uptime
You are not your GBs of porn
You are not your download speed
You are not your Alienware PC
You are not your LINUX OS
You are not your GB OF RAM
You are not your kill rate in Quake
You are not your flatscreen monitor
You are not your high resolution
You are not your 12,000 MP3s
YOU ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING POST COUNT
