Your first movie
Sorry to say this, but this flash was really bad. However, I can see this flash was made a few years ago. It was also your first flash. Yep, an old flash with bad graphics. Overall, this flash was bad. I could've gave this flash an overall of 1 or even 0, but since this flash was made a few years ago, I thought I'd let you off and give the overall score a little higher than I could've given it.
-Bahamut
Don't need to be sorry. No need to 'let me off'.
'This flash isn't funny! There's no aesthetic appeal and no other entertainment value here!'
Say it like it is.
OMFGWTFBBQ
Not your finest work
I guess you off the hook since it was your first flash and I know for a fact you can do better. Your experimental period if you might.
Add sound, a storyline and better animation and it might be a daisy in a pile of poo. Right now its just poo :(
-Rhabdophobia
I'm guessing the title is meant to be totally unrelated? Made me chuckle anyway.
Again with the single number across the board. It'd be nice if you'd put some thought into the individual ratings.
'I guess you off the hook'
I think you meant 'you're'.
Suggesting an author adds the things you suggested is basically asking for a brand new animation. They can't really be added as it is.
It'd be more valid to simply state 'this has no sound, storyline, any decent animation, or any other redeeming features for me.'
Well, I understand what you mean anyway.
As I mentioned earlier, I do believe the bare min. for a review should be one positive remark, an overview and some constructive criticism.
Even in the shittiest work, you should be able to find one positive thing to say about the actual work.
Consider it a challenge.
5/10
Very weird flash
The very first thing I noticed was that it took me a while to figure out how to get the movie to start. After finally being able to click on the blue line (I was trying to click the spiked parts rather than the original line) I saw what was a very weird movie. The entire movie was basically a spray can of fertiliser (I was gong to whine about how you spelled it wrong until I realized that fertilizer and fertiliser are both right) that was used on a mushroom, killing it. I don't understand the moral too much, as I wasn't convinced by this alone that fertilizer is good.
As for the graphics and animation in itself, a part of me absolutely hated the apprent lack of effort, but at the same time, I actually enjoyed the extremely abstact look of it. the purple lines on the black background give it a somewhat surreal feel that's hard to do in a flash, good or bad. It looked like the ground at times, the sky at others. The fertilizer and mushroom were drawn relatively well using only lines. Granted, I could say that it needs more color, sound, animation, and a complete makeover, and it would be true. It would be a lot better, but it would take away the one thing that this flash really has, and what probably allowed it to be protected: surrealism. Not a bad flash when taken at face value, terrible when compared to actual flashes.
You give a good amount of detail. It's always nice to hear the little things about your experiences, like your confusion over my button.
Your 2nd paragraph is rather insightful and raises some points, making me consider things I hadn't really thought about thus far.
When I consider my normal criteria (specific constructive criticism, one positive point, an overall appraisal) I see you met all 3 (what I consider) minimum requirements.
Your review, though, is greater than the sum of its parts, in the questions it raises; the points it states.
7/10
You won't blieve this
I wtached this three times.
I thought I missed something each time so I watned to make sure I didn't miss anything. Maybe I'm just thinking too much.
Not sure why you did this with no sound, not even sure how this made it.
Yet it did, thus here we are.
Well that was a interestign short. It did have a message and it did present it . I doo look to see what the one with sound is like, I can only imagine taht it is better than this one. Sometiems sound is not always needed, but in this case I think it will help this flash.
You could have spent some more time on the graphics and such of this flash, that would have helped also.
Well, call me silly, call me stupid, but at the time, I was actually kinda annoyed when I came to Newgrounds, to find that most movies needed folk to hear the sound to understand what was going on. (I saw them at a uni library). For that reason, I made a decision to exclude sound from this and the sequel and sorta advertised it as silent meaning 'hey, even if you don't have speakers, you won't miss out on anything!'
My review of your review:
You begin with an amusing retelling of your viewing experience. Always interesting. The main point of a review, in fact, and something many forget.
You give both positive comments and constructive feedback. The latter is given with a pleasant tone, despite the low standard of the 'movie' - a considerable achievemnt.
There are a few typos, though they don't really detract from your review and I only mention them out of a 'completist' attitude.
You assume that the title of the flash means there was an alternative version available - a mistake. In life, try to avoid making presumptions.
It was an enjoyable read and a good review as is. My only suggestion would be to maybe have more specific constructive crit. Although it's questionable as to whether this submission would deserve it.
This review is short, but packs a good punch.
I give it 6.5/10
So! the great Bezman has...
a skeleton in his cupboard!? (albeit one with a score of just over 4, which goes to prove how artificial NG scores can be!)
I cant compete with the last reviewer for technical skill in reviewing so I won't try.
+ its vaguely funny
+ it has some a punch line, therefore purpose, which makes it better than quite a few NG subs
-it looks crap, with no background, meaningless colours, no shading
-very few movies get through without sound- even just an explosion would be a considerable improvement.
-animation very crude.
You must have some powerful friends or something, I don't see any clocks or B's in it. How did you get this through judgement?
I wonder how you would have reviewed it if it came from someone you didn't know? I ask myself that of my own work sometimes and it pushes me to do better.
Best Wishes,
Ice
Thanks for the review!
Bear in mind that this was 2001. Kong had been at #1 for a few months straight. Nothing else could reach the score of 4.00. There were far fewer submissions and 'spam groups' weren't around. Everyone had a far greater chance of getting accepted into the portal.
When the famous B was submitted, my understanding is that passed of its own merit - people just found the shock of finding that letter and nothing else amusing.
Likewise, some folk just found this made them chuckle. Check one of the first reviews for proof.
For the record, it passed at maybe 2.5ish. Above 2 anyway. I voted it up afterwards myself - something I wouldn't do now - and did so until it reached 3.7. A fan took it upon themselves to upvote all my stuff recently. I didn't ask them to.
In a way, my LLL account was an attempt to have a fresh slate, free of upvoting and whatnot.
Stay funky!