Well...
To begin, the time looks well spent in this. It wasn't half-assed. A bombardment of sprites, sounds and music, blended well and served cold, I love it. The story was thick and it had detail, but the characters were rather two-dimensional, (no point intended). That being said, there were a few things that I didn't like at all.
The dialogue was very bland and childish. The sophmoric name calling and cliches really didn't fit the flash, at all. Also, having to tap the spacebar everytime something was said, really tore away from the action, making the fight scenes very anti-climactic. Having to stop, and press the spacebar during a fight, made the flash seem like, like it was dragging it's feet. Finally, the incorrect use of words, the misspelling of words and the choice, don't seem like common dialogue of ANY of the characters. All in all, the flash looked like it has a lot of work put into it, but it looks like it was made by a talented kid. If that's what you are, more power to you, I could've never made a sprite flash of this quality if I tried... But I wouldn't need a dictionary.
Work on that. You're on your way.
-Llynok