Brilliant
I went through the reviews you've recieved and saw so many negative comments on it. Of course, people tend to down-grade the fact this was a brilliant flash, just because it didn't load well for them, or they hate anime style art... Don't let that ever discourage you though. Do what style you want.
Story wise: I liked the nice twist to it. I'm not too much into dark things, but I enjoyed watching this. The story change is nice, since the original being drawn out happily would be just boring.
Voice acting: Not bad. Not bad at all! I like the voice, it sounds great. Kudos to the voice actor. It is a great example of a "dark" narrarator.
Music: Enjoyed the music. (Whoever suggested "Requiem of a Dream" from LOTR, that song is over-used and wouldn't fit.) It fit with the style of the animation.
Graphics: Very well done! It's a very nice style, very well drawn, very well animated.
Over all, great job on this animation. :D I liked the character designs. They were rather interesting.