clap clap clap......crickets
This was......interesting. The beginning of the fight scene seemed strained because you went to so much trouble it didn't flow as naturally as it could have. Also thare could have been a bit more swordplay and clashin and a little less beard. Just my opinion. But other than the beard I really liked your bad guy and the girl fighting him was a bit pathetic (in strength) but I liked that angel move she used out of nowhere. Other than that I'll try to shorten up the comments. 1.cop's voice doesn't fit right. 2. your story intro and humor were a bit too direct. No I'ma cop's.
--The light of Jak (sorry if i was a bit harsh)