At 1/24/05 07:25 PM, MasterOfPie wrote:

I only wack,suck,and fuck em not be one.

oh, your gay. i thought uyou were just an ass

sorry, i guess i replied too early. this is a slackers crew... i gues you fit right in. just most people here arent as slacky as you- well, us. lol...
but hey, speaking from a chicks point of view- your never gonna get laid if you act like that. as in, how you did when you first came in. but you dont seem like you want anyones opinion, so ill shut up...
(thats just asking for some snarky comment. oh well, im happy right now :))

At 1/24/05 10:23 PM, TearDropped wrote:

At 1/24/05 07:25 PM, MasterOfPie wrote:

I only wack,suck,and fuck em not be one.

oh, your gay. i thought uyou were just an ass

he's actually bisexual. he was complaining about a girlfriend a lil while ago too. and recently was talking abotu wanting some friends of his girlie friend

either way, thats it.

At 1/24/05 10:40 PM, MALforPresident wrote: either way, thats it.

i just dont understand how those people's minds operate.
i would never, ever, ever think about suicide, because there is no point in that.
"ohh, but my life sucks, though... waa waaa" bull shit. if your life sucks, make it better.
some fucking people are just stupid.

Hey MasterOfPie,

Yah, sometimes life does suck and we are stuck in an seemingly endless loop, but man think about all the sucking, whacking and fucking you will miss out on if you off yourself. After all the first 10 - 13 years of life we already miss out on the sex thing. All those people you get to screw around with and give and take pleasure from are way more fun than getting planted. Then again laying still for eternity, decomposing is the ultimate slack...........he he.

Marcus is right too about the school thing, it's like a test for 12 years to see if you can make through the bull shit......then you get dumped into reality.......ha ha. You get the rubber stamp......"Processed".

Thanks for the welcome Mal!

I am behind in posts, its Konrad's fault he's been keeping me way too busy., but ha ha..........he's a lot of fun to hang out with and do....other fun stuff with ......

Wow, yet again I have so many posts to read and can't find my place.

Now some of you are wondering where the hell I've been yesterday, so here's the story in point form:

1. Ride down to Vancouver General Hospital (I think) for Don's checkup.
2. Show him where I grew up.
3. Ride to Lengley and see where he grew up.
4. Ride back to Abby for shopping and other things.

Oh, and as for the M.O.P. suicide thing, I already resolved it - Don't bother replying to his posts anymore for they will no longer be answered. :-(

At 1/25/05 05:29 PM, Painbringer wrote: Wow, yet again I have so many posts to read and can't find my place.

Now some of you are wondering where the hell I've been yesterday, so here's the story in point form:

1. Ride down to Vancouver General Hospital (I think) for Don's checkup.

Transplants are a good thing.

2. Show him where I grew up.

Nice walk fun memories that were had.

3. Ride to Langley and see where he grew up.

Where did that park pool go? Oh and the house was impossible to see because all those little trees were now huge. Everything looks so much smaller now.

4. Ride back to Abby for shopping and other things.

Ah....... the other things were more fun.

Oh, and as for the M.O.P. suicide thing, I already resolved it - Don't bother replying to his posts anymore for they will no longer be answered. :-(

Too late for me.....I already posted Kon!

At 1/25/05 02:48 PM, DonBush wrote: "Processed".

damn right.
haha, my school year starts tomorrow... i r t3h sad.

seems like Kon and Don had an eventfull day yesterday :) haha.
i went to go get the new uniform i needed since i grew like 5 inches in the last year XD haha.

At 1/25/05 02:48 PM, DonBush wrote:

:After all the first 10 - 13 years of life we already miss out on the sex thing.

yeah, if your so lucky. i dont know if i told you guys this- im sure i did- i was sexually assulted by 4 different men when i was a child. luckily, im not traumatized.
and suicide id a fleeting thought. i think everyone gues through the phase- i know i did, but quickly and i never really tried- im not that stupid.
and everyones likes guys here, its hilarious. it was only afew months- no, weeksd ago me and konny were talking about being the ony two here who liked dick- and that turned dirty, but still. hee hee hee

At 1/25/05 05:47 PM, DonBush wrote: Where did that park pool go?

Beats me, and all of us.

Everything looks so much smaller now.

I know how you feel! I noticed that the most when I visited my old apartment in 2003.

Ah....... the other things were more fun.

A different kind of fun I guess.

Too late for me.....I already posted Kon!

Yeah, but yesterday's gone, Don.

At 1/25/05 08:54 PM, TearDropped wrote: and everyones likes guys here, its hilarious. it was only afew months- no, weeksd ago me and konny were talking about being the ony two here who liked dick- and that turned dirty, but still. hee hee hee

i'm pretty damn sure i'm heterosexual.

um..marcus is too i beleive, XwaynecoltX, he comes by. benny boy. i assume he's not gay yet.

At 1/25/05 08:54 PM, TearDropped wrote: i was sexually assulted by 4 different men when i was a child. luckily, im not traumatized.

Glad it turned out for the better - I'm sure some girls would never want sex if something like that happened to them. Though I kinda feel like you're growing up too fast, but at least you'll be all grown up in like eight months.

i know i did, but quickly and i never really tried- im not that stupid.

I still don't get why I seriously considered suicide in 2002, but not in my teen years.

and everyones likes guys here, its hilarious.

Though some here have denied it.

it was only afew months- no, weeksd ago me and konny were talking about being the ony two here who liked dick-

Yeah, there are now five confirmed cocklovers here: Me, you, Don, Allison, and M.O.P. - Is there anyone I missed?

At 1/25/05 10:19 PM, MALforPresident wrote: i'm pretty damn sure i'm heterosexual.

You'll never know for sure until you try both.

um..marcus is too i beleive, XwaynecoltX, he comes by. benny boy. i assume he's not gay yet.

Are you questioning Postmaster Ben? Better be careful or he'll put some of his BBS moves on you!

At 1/25/05 10:19 PM, MALforPresident wrote: i'm pretty damn sure i'm heterosexual.

boo ya.

um..marcus is too i beleive, XwaynecoltX, he comes by. benny boy. i assume he's not gay yet.

boo ya.
enough said? naww...
haha.
hey guess what, my school year starts this year, aweome... not.
anyways i wont be around too much in the coming year. im going to try and get laid XD lol i know i will most likely fail, but i have a few of my old friends in my class who are sort of 'bad'... so i have a chance! boo ya! lolol.
gona be playing a lot more sport so it will only be one post a day in here...
later everyone.

Hi TearDropped,

I didn't know about the sex abuse thing, sorry. Those are some sick fucks man. I have always thought what I would do to someone who did that. Many tortures come to mind.

Marcus, school starts with new opportunities to get laid, ha ha. You will need to post and let us know if you are successful and who the lucky one is.

I am tired so maybe will have to leave work early and go home for nap ha ha.

Hetero, Bi, Gay .....its all good. After all without the Bi's and Hetero's there would be no Homo's.

At 1/25/05 10:36 PM, Painbringer wrote:

At 1/25/05 08:54 PM, TearDropped wrote: i was sexually assulted by 4 different men when i was a child. luckily, im not traumatized.

Glad it turned out for the better - I'm sure some girls would never want sex if something like that happened to them.

Kinsey actually found that all sexual patterns are established in early childhood. Which is why, more often than not, children who have early homosexual experiences end up exhibiting homosexual characteristics later in life, forced or not. This also explains why Stasia's one of the most sexual people I know. At the very least, she's very open-minded about all things having to do with sex. You never told me about this though, Stash. I'm sorry. Stuff like that usually isn't very easy to deal with, but out of all the people I know, you'd be the one to handle it best. As always, copious love rays.

So, depression. I really just don't understand it anymore. It seems that every time things go bad for me, everyone else is a ray of sunshine -- my Grade 11 year comes to mind -- but every time things start working out for me, I'm surrounded by sad people. Oriana broke out in tears the other night for a reason which I feel is better expressed in my blog; my friends, Shannon and Pearce, are both so upset about relationships that didn't work out that I can barely even talk to them now because they know I'm in a happy relationship; and now, this here. Must be one of those Natural Balance of the Universe things. It's like my whole thing with T-Shirt Karma. Wait, I've never explained that, have I? Well, long story short, I've noticed that whenever I'm wearing my CIBC Run For The Cure volunteer T-shirt, things go really well with Oriana. In fact, the one night I didn't wear that shirt over to her place was the night she started crying. It can't even be anything on a subconscious level because I'm always wearing something over the T-shirt so she never sees it. Weird, huh? I really think it's because I got the T-shirt on the same day that one of my lady friends, Amanda, gave me that final bit of advice that drove me to finally ask Oriana out. I'm probably just crazy, and it's probably just coincidence, but I really think that something's there. Just hope I didn't jinx it just by telling you all. (I am crazy, aren't I?)

Life is good though. My first semester classes officially ended today and aside from the two Provincials I have coming up -- a Chemistry one that I still have eight days to study for and an English one that's guaranteed to be a cinch -- I'm free from school until, what, the first Monday of February? No more Chemistry homework. Ever. That's such a load off my mind, you wouldn't believe it. So, in the next few days, watch a few more movies (I have The Station Agent and the original 1962 Manchurian Candidate sitting upstairs), do a little bit of work on my screenplay, catch up on my reading of the Kinsey bio, study a little for my Chem, and it's all cheesecake. I'm even taking Oriana out to see a play next Monday. "Humble Boy", it's called. Better be damn well worth it. Two tickets set me back $38.00. Still though, I'm genuinely happy. About all this and the fact that I just hit 17,000 Blams a second ago. My cat's sitting on my lap and I'm just a little stoned from an aromatherapy candle, but all is right with the world. Perhaps more importantly, all is right between me and Oriana. I'm happy, guys. I really, really am. Catch you all in a few days.

i donno about the shirt kharm. seems a lil dirty to me ben

but its good you're doing well.

i have my own opinions on kharma.

the way i see it theres one really bitchy and angry kharma god that's got it in for me. because whenever there's an ounce of happyness, a pound of shit falls and hits a fan to make it seem like it never happened.

it has happened recently again. i wont go into details, stash knows about it, but i dont think you guys need to know it. sorry if i seem a lil resurved about it, normally i'm pretty open around here. either way, its not horrible, but its still kind of bad. so dont be worrying about me

and stash may kill me for who i called to talk to about it......

anyways, on a lighter note, the play i'm in is on saturday, i dont know half my lines and i start the play off. either way, it should be halarious, tis one of those really funny plays taht just bash shakespere

its called "the complete works of william shakespere [abridged]" its fucking amazing!!! too bad some of the people in it i dont think are capable of acting or comedy at that, but whatever, it even makes them seem funny. amazing, eh?

and next weekend i'm back on the road for my final drama/acting compitition. if i dont get a half bid i'll have to try ONE LAST TIME at regionals. a few weeks later.

and if i do place, i'll be going to the state comp. later this year

i was afraid i might not have gotten into a writers conference i've been looking foward too because i didn't get an acceptance letter yet, turns out they were backlogged with it, and i'll have to wait untill the first week of march. thats just fucking twisted.

i got one of the last 4 slots in an SAT prep course, maybe i can raise my score a few hundred points. well, concidering its a brand new format and all, but yeah, comparitively a few extra points.

i think i told you about a few of them a long time ago- but you have incredible short term memory loss, and i actually just found out about one over the summer- dont ask. basically, it was a big one and i blanked it out. even wierder, one of them, mini elvis- oh the class- admitted to the police that he did shuff with me, but ive never had any recollection of it. apperently he drugged me, at, like, 6 or 7. youve got to be fucked up to do that. *shudders* but i grew up fast cause i had to. i dealt with more shit before i turned ten than most peple do in thier whole life. high school is the calmest ive ever had the chance to be. ill show you a fucking slacker...
and mally- im sorry. i suck at this now. i cant eve help you anymore- i love you though....

At 1/26/05 11:37 PM, TearDropped wrote: i think i told you about a few of them a long time ago- but you have incredible short term memory loss, and i actually just found out about one over the summer- dont ask. basically, it was a big one and i blanked it out. even wierder, one of them, mini elvis- oh the class- admitted to the police that he did shuff with me, but ive never had any recollection of it. apperently he drugged me, at, like, 6 or 7. youve got to be fucked up to do that. *shudders* but i grew up fast cause i had to. i dealt with more shit before i turned ten than most peple do in thier whole life. high school is the calmest ive ever had the chance to be. ill show you a fucking slacker...

one of my best friedns from camp was sexually abused and beaten as a child. she had to grow up fast aslo. her mother also used to get high and snort crack infront of her. alll that bad stuff. i love her emensly, she's a really great person. but to think of allt hat she's gone through. but she really did come out fine. but its a pity to ever see somebody whos that cool go through that, or have to remember it. i hope this isn't all bringing back bad memories stash!.

and mally- im sorry. i suck at this now. i cant eve help you anymore- i love you though....

its ok, you dont suck at it. and dont worry about it, i'm fine. really

At 1/26/05 08:58 PM, MALforPresident wrote: i have my own opinions on kharma.

the way i see it theres one really bitchy and angry kharma god that's got it in for me. because whenever there's an ounce of happyness, a pound of shit falls and hits a fan to make it seem like it never happened.

Arr, I can relate. It seems like any progress made lately with anything, moral, physical, or emotional, has been rewarded with the mental equivalent of a swift kick to the balls. It had been mostly a more benign absence of any effects, positive or negative, up to the point of this week. I managed, through putting physical needs like food an sleep aside, to work myself to the bone, and as a consequence, both of my marks for this semester are now roughly 20% lower.

I have also managed to find, once again, to show myself how well I fit the bill for the term 'just a friend'. During the course of this last week, I have heard that phrase twice, both times from the same mouth, because I was given another chance after it was said the first time, and managed to have the exact same result. At the moment, I'm giving a large and pointed 'Ballocks to this' to the whole relationship thing. It seems that the last few years (save for a month during this summer) have, if nothing else, proven to me the futility of trying. A new semester is starting soon, and I suppose I could see it as a fresh start sort of thing, but really, I see no point in expending the energy to even try anymore, and I couldn't give a rat's ass about hope.

Well, that's more than enough whining for now. Sorry to annoy or bore you with this... I find it odd to complain this much about these sort of things. Back to happy conversation, now.

At 1/27/05 12:09 AM, muh_not_stooped wrote: Well, that's more than enough whining for now. Sorry to annoy or bore you with this... I find it odd to complain this much about these sort of things. Back to happy conversation, now.

heh, no problem

nice to see you around man.
i know how you feel though, it sucks, huh?

either way, nice to have you back. but working hard?! what the fuck man...not cool. you lay down and you eat! now!

Well guys, I finally got 3,000 posts.

Took me 2 years, but I finally got it.

At 1/27/05 01:53 AM, -Frank- wrote: Well guys, I finally got 3,000 posts.

well done. i acheived such a feat on the 18th of January.

Took me 2 years, but I finally got it.

*ehem*... 2 and a half years, i might say, lol.
well done in any case.
oh, and you're coming up on your 1000th day here at NG, looks at your posts along with your posts per day. gettin' there.
---
im ouuuttt!
first day of school:
it was around 90 degrees (32 centigrade) humid, and i was wearin' pants. well im not making that mistake again, haha.
anyways, i got good classes, so im happy i recken. just going to be doing more homework is all.

Hi Ben, sounds like an interesting play, Humble Boy. I haven't been to any for a long time......but hopefully will get back into it sometime soon.

One of my fav movies, (I really need to watch it again) was Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It was weirdly captivating.

On the early homosexual or sexual experience thing...... I don't recall ever having anyone do anything to me as a small child, however I was always sexually aware even though I didn't understand what sex was. Some right wing religious zealots and politicians claim it’s a choice. I really can't dissect my sexuality and the reason I am who I am, but once I did accept it there was a major relief of stress and the beginning of being much happier.

Anyone care to explain "normal"? ha ha ha

On another note, Konrad was over last night and the poor guy just happened to come down with the 24 hr stomach flu. I sure hope he feels much better today. I gave him some Gravol and ginger ale.....but well he was feeling pretty bad when I took him home.

Later.........

At 1/27/05 01:04 PM, DonBush wrote: One of my fav movies, (I really need to watch it again) was Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It was weirdly captivating.

i've been meaning to see that for a long time now. ben would kill me for this, but ive been spending way more time reading lately then watching movies.

On the early homosexual or sexual experience thing...... I don't recall ever having anyone do anything to me as a small child, however I was always sexually aware even though I didn't understand what sex was. Some right wing religious zealots and politicians claim it’s a choice. I really can't dissect my sexuality and the reason I am who I am, but once I did accept it there was a major relief of stress and the beginning of being much happier.

i donno, maybe some people are born like it, some make the choice, and others just are so open minded that they are willing to try anything.

i dont think there are simple answers to why we are who we are. you can claim that your upbringing led you to it. but sometimes somebody who was braught up in basically the same conditions would wind up homosexual, and the other a KKK member. it all depends on your life experiences, how you were taught, and how you taught yourself. how others influence you and how you reacted witht he world around you.

Anyone care to explain "normal"? ha ha ha

normal?! . been told to act as such..but could never get the hang of it.

On another note, Konrad was over last night and the poor guy just happened to come down with the 24 hr stomach flu. I sure hope he feels much better today. I gave him some Gravol and ginger ale.....but well he was feeling pretty bad when I took him home.

man, that was going around at work during christmas. and then my girlfriend had a cold, needless to say i put myself at risk of gettting sick way too much already this winter. basically i'd spend a day with anna, then go home and chug a bottle of orange juice and eat half a box of flintstone vitamines.

or come home from work. chug a bottle of orange juice with extra immune inhancers and eat any zinc, cough, or vitemen C tablets i could find.

At 1/27/05 10:53 PM, MALforPresident wrote: ben would kill me for this, but ive been spending way more time reading lately then watching movies.

Well you're totally wrong because although ben is a movie geek, he also likes to read and write. If anything he would encourage you to read more.

i donno, maybe some people are born like it, some make the choice, and others just are so open minded that they are willing to try anything.

I think the answer is simple: As a kid you're either interested in girls or guys. And if you are gay after puberty, then you have to make the choice whether to live straight, or accept who you are.

At 1/27/05 01:04 PM, DonBush wrote: Hi Ben, sounds like an interesting play, Humble Boy. I haven't been to any for a long time......but hopefully will get back into it sometime soon.
One of my fav movies, (I really need to watch it again) was Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It was weirdly captivating.
Some right wing religious zealots and politicians claim it’s a choice.

Oh yeah, I love plays. Haven't been to that many but it's something I'd go to all the time if they weren't so damned expensive. The last one I saw was actually exactly two months ago. First date with my lady friend. Went to go see a college presentation of "A Midsummer Night's Dream". By far, the best date play ever. Hmm, date play. Date play. Play date? Wow, that's weird. In any case, "Humble Boy" is kind of a loosely-based, modern retelling of the old "Hamlet" story. My English teacher's a bit of a live theatre lover and he told me it was one of the better offerings of the Vancouver Playhouse 2004/05 season. I'm really looking forward to it. As for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I love that movie too. Actually own it, along with two other films from Charlie Kaufman's twisted mind: Adaptation and Being John Malkovich. Crazy stuff that guy writes. Talk about a mindjob.

Now, going back to the whole homosexuality thing and how certain people see it as being more of a choice, I don't think it's so much a choice of being but more a choice of accepting. Fact of the matter is, no one's pure heterosexual and no one's pure homosexual. Going by Kinsey's infamous H-Het scale, 0 being exclusively straight and 6 being exclusively gay, everyone moves back and forth throughout their lives. Someone could say, be a 0 as a teen, climb up to a 2 in his or her twenties, end up a 4 or 5 in their adult years, and then fall back down to a 1 at death. People who believe it as being a choice, I feel, are simply held back by societal convention. It's their way of insinuating that anyone different from them isn't capable of moral restraint and are somehow inferior. The irony here, of course, is that they're all more similar than they like to think. On the other hand, I'm sure to a man who's been happily married to his wife for thirty years, even the first hint of arousal at anything "on the other side of the road", so to speak, would make him a little uncomfortable. And that's fine. More likely than not, he won't start driving in the streets of London anyway -- a little road humour for you -- and more often than not, it's just a thought. Nothing more. As far as I'm concerned, you have no real control over your sexuality. Your childhood years usually set up the blueprint for it, but as always, nothing's written in stone. You can either accept who you are or, in the cases of people who see it as a choice or as something somehow wrong, you can reject it. I mean, I can comfortably say I'm about a 1 on the scale. It's no big deal and I'm just fine with it. But on the other hand, I know a certain someone who acts as homophobic as the dickens -- no doubt brought on by a strict Christian upbringing -- yet I know for a fact that he's sitting at at least a 3 (what Kinsey would refer to as bisexuality). It's all about acceptance of who you are, it really is. I don't freak out all the time at the fact that I have ridiculously skinny wrists. After all, it's who I am. I agree with you though: "Hetero, bi, gay; it's all good."

So, today's my two-month mark with Oriana. She's just as surprised as I am. Oh, and she thought the two-month mark was tomorrow. I swear, she's like the guy of the relationship. (Nothing kinky. Really.) But things are good. We're both at the point right now where we're giving each other the space we need, but we're not worried. Besides, I don't want to suffocate the poor girl. I'm over there at least twice a week by default already. But things are really great. In addition to all the stuff that goes on behind closed doors -- well, not that just yet -- I'm also actually talking to her on the phone every now and again. Shocking. When you can do sexy stuff with a person and still want to talk to them afterwards, that's when you know. Still; Mal, Muh? Sorry. I've been down Muh's road already so I know how that feels and if I'm right, I'm pretty sure I don't ever want to be down Mal's road, but I can empathize. Feel better, the both of you. And Muh, don't feel bad about bitching. I used to do it all the time. You're probably only annoying Marcus. And we all know he doesn't matter anyways.

Just kidding, Marcus. You know we love you.

At 1/27/05 10:53 PM, MALforPresident wrote: Posts: 9,179

wow i just realised you've been posting slower than my grandma would be if she was a member... and she doesnt know a thing about the internet! haha (they're taking classes soon tho XD)...

when are you going to reach 9,000 dude!? haha.

At 1/28/05 02:50 AM, biteme2514 wrote: You're probably only annoying Marcus. And we all know he doesn't matter anyways.

Just kidding, Marcus. You know we love you.

lol, i think thats the second time you've now addressed me in your uber long chunks of text XD
thanks, haha.
i feel loved...
more so because of that pic...
SPREAD THE LURVE!! NOT THE >3!!!!
>#:( hahah.

At 1/27/05 10:53 PM, MALforPresident wrote: i've been meaning to see that for a long time now. ben would kill me for this, but ive been spending way more time reading lately then watching movies.

Reading is good too. I am glad I read the Lord of The Rings Trilogy before I saw the movies. BTW I watched the extended version of Return of the King and it was awesome. Many things left our of the theatrical release were filled in.

i donno, maybe some people are born like it, some make the choice, and others just are so open minded that they are willing to try anything.

Thats a good way to look at it, other than the choice part. I mean I determine my sexual preference by what is attractive so I can't....well get "turned on" by hetero thoughts. Some of my good friends are females and I have always been able to have girls as good friends and relate.......ha ha.....okay lets not go there.

i dont think there are simple answers to why we are who we are. you can claim that your upbringing led you to it. but sometimes somebody who was braught up in basically the same conditions would wind up homosexual, and the other a KKK member. it all depends on your life experiences, how you were taught, and how you taught yourself. how others influence you and how you reacted witht he world around you.

I agree life experiences and whether we are the "explorer" type in our own lives or the "follower" type. The "follower" type, to me, is someone who believes that their parents, grandparents and on up the tree did things "right" and they follow without questioning. The "explorer" takes risks and chances and asks "why". They like to try different things. I like to think of myself as the explorer type but have had to push myself because of my "follower" upbringing. I tend to polarize towards those who fit my "explorer" type definition. I think most people here are more of the explorer type (according to me....lol) and no offence to anyone.

normal?! . been told to act as such..but could never get the hang of it.

lol .... I totally agree on the "act normal" thing. Its a broad spectrum and I sometimes like to live on the fringe.

man, that was going around at work during christmas. and then my girlfriend had a cold, needless to say i put myself at risk of gettting sick way too much already this winter. basically i'd spend a day with anna, then go home and chug a bottle of orange juice and eat half a box of flintstone vitamines.

or come home from work. chug a bottle of orange juice with extra immune inhancers and eat any zinc, cough, or vitemen C tablets i could find.

I chatted with Kon <3 yesterday and last night and he is starting to recover and feel a bit better. I am waiting for him to log on today to see how he is today.