At 12/22/04 06:31 PM, nananananana_MALZAR wrote: man, you know how to treat a lady..i think i'm falling in love over here!

Figures that you'd be the only person to actually respond to my post. Oh well, I trust that you had a good Christmas? Say, how come no mention of spending any time with your girlfriend during the holiday season? I would've thought that you'd be all over her this past week, jingling her bells and whatnot. Come to think of it, what about everyone else here? There's more references to drug abuse than Christmas on this page alone. Oh, by the way, I've updated the blog. You know how to get there, Mal. And Konrad, don't even mention the Cable Run. Just the name brings to mind the days of pneumonia that followed.

So, for me, I have exactly one more week of freedom before I have to drag my ass back to that pedantic penitentiary known as NWSS. It's not even freedom, really. I actually got assigned homework over the holidays. Mostly reading. I've been staying on the ball with that though. It's just that sometime in the next few days, I need to finish reading "Stanley Park" by Timothy Taylor for my English class, turn in two Chemistry review packages so I can be ready for the provincial I need to write next month -- think SAT's, but for Canada -- and I need to type out my Capilano College application essay so I can make the deadline in time. The fact that I actually plan on doing all this already makes me the antithesis of everything that this crew stands for. But then there's the juggling as well. I've been meaning to call Stasia over to watch my new Shaun of the Dead DVD -- Best. Movie. Ever. -- but I also promised Ori I'd give her a call as well, so we can sit around and watch the Monty Python's The Meaning of Life DVD that she got me for Christmas. On the other hand, Oriana has kind of been alluding to the idea that maybe we spend too much time together, whatever the hell that means, so Stasia's first priority right now. I mean, I don't want to exacerbate things. But yes, today, me and Ori will have been going out for a whole month now. Maybe I will call her, just to talk. We don't do that as much as we used to. What do you think though, Mal? Do you think she's pissed off at me for some weird girlish reason? What does "too much time together" mean anyways? Oh, what the hell. All I really want to do right now is get all my work out of the way. I should probably be getting to that instead of blowing what's left of my precious time here. Guess I'll be catching you guys next in a few days' time. I'll try to drop by once more before New Year's.

Speaking of which, what's everyone doing for that?

At 12/27/04 03:35 PM, biteme2514 wrote: how come no mention of spending any time with your girlfriend during the holiday season? I would've thought that you'd be all over her this past week, jingling her bells and whatnot.

hes got a point. whats with you and anna the past few days sexi maly? i havent talked to you.. you seem to have picked up some sort of life outside of internet or something... but arent filling us in, lol. talk talk talk

. I actually got assigned homework over the holidays.

i have to complete an assignment for law 12 which is 20% of my grade for the day we get back. i still havemnt strted. i shouyld do that...

I've been meaning to call Stasia over to watch my new Shaun of the Dead DVD

im still out here in the middle of nowhere- i might be back tomorrow, if im lucky. so dont count on it. but, well make a date for wednesday or thursday if you want to...? phone me.

spend too much time together, whatever the hell that means, so Stasia's first priority right now.

:D im first priority! muahahahaha! well, the best thing to do is not contact her for 2-3 days and get er missing you... then phone her. course i cant give you that advice now, im sure weve talked about her already. just give her some space. <3
congrats on the one month thing. your doing good sexi benny!
new years... im going to jasons... bring in the new year getting drunk. thats the only way to do it, lol

At 12/28/04 01:53 AM, TearDropped wrote:

At 12/27/04 03:35 PM, biteme2514 wrote: how come no mention of spending any time with your girlfriend during the holiday season? I would've thought that you'd be all over her this past week, jingling her bells and whatnot.

hes got a point. whats with you and anna the past few days sexi maly? i havent talked to you.. you seem to have picked up some sort of life outside of internet or something... but arent filling us in, lol. talk talk talk

haha, not much at all. this vacation has been totally destroyed by basketball and work. its really pissing me off. i've seen her maybe once this whole vacation, and we didn't do anything of any nature that would have been cool for either of us.

. I actually got assigned homework over the holidays.

i have to complete an assignment for law 12 which is 20% of my grade for the day we get back. i still havemnt strted. i shouyld do that...

wow...i have almost no homework..cept backwork..probably should do that so i can pass the classes, eh?

I've been meaning to call Stasia over to watch my new Shaun of the Dead DVD

im still out here in the middle of nowhere- i might be back tomorrow, if im lucky. so dont count on it. but, well make a date for wednesday or thursday if you want to...? phone me.

ooo oo, whats your phone number. i'll call you!

spend too much time together, whatever the hell that means, so Stasia's first priority right now.

D im first priority! muahahahaha! well, the best thing to do is not contact her for 2-3 days and get er missing you... then phone her. course i cant give you that advice now, im sure weve talked about her already. just give her some space. <3

awww, ben has girlfriendy trouble....yeah, anna right now is bitching at me for not wanting to go to this damned new years party.

i've busted a few blood vessels already in my one eye just out of exhastion from work and basketball practices...and then she expects me to go to the house of her friend who i can't stand and deal with all the other people i cant stand. i know it sound selfish, but the only highlight of the night for her will be the 5min between me getting there, talking to her and then getting in a fight with somebody

congrats on the one month thing. your doing good sexi benny!

heh...i've been going out with ana for 5 or 6 weeks now...i'm a bad boyfriend. we almsot never have time to hang out and fool around. now that its vacation, we can't even hang out because of my fucking job and basketball schedual.

new years... im going to jasons... bring in the new year getting drunk. thats the only way to do it, lol

anna is trying to convince me to go to that damned party and i was just trying to explain to her that i dont want to go. but i might and that i wont know untill probably taht day.

this was my day today:

6:45am: wake up, take shower

7:10am: really get up and take shower...

7:20am: scramble around house for

7:30am: i'm supposed to be gone

7:45am: finally leave the house

8:15am: got to work finally, go into main office of the lodge, notice i have a private lesson in 15min. scramble downstairs and put on my boots

8:20am: show up 5minutes late for the daily news dealy at the bottom of the trail for ski school people

8:30am: private lesson begins. meet dad and two kids. do the lesson and all that

9:30am: lesson is over. run over to group lesson meeting place

10:00am: finally receive a shitload of crying little kids who are all not supposed to be in the level they were put into.

11:30am: bring lesson from hell back in. go back to private lesson meeting place. find the parent and his kid for a one hour private lesson with his 3yr old daughter

12:30pm: same parent hands me other kid for another 1hr private lesson

1:30pm: private lesson ends. get a $10 tip. scramble over to group lesson meeting place. receive lesson from hell YET AGAIN

3:00pm: lesson is over

3:30pm: do paperwork for the day. private lesson stuff is mess up have to wait a long ass time.

4:00pm: give up on trying to work stuff out, hand in paperwork anyway, get extra pay because of it. go home

4:30pm: arrive home after finally eating for the first time today at mickyDs. take a nap

7:45pm: go to basketball practice

10:00pm: back home. go on computer.

12:32am: tired as hell....writing this...

At 12/29/04 12:33 AM, nananananana_MALZAR wrote:

i've seen her maybe once this whole vacation, and we didn't do anything of any nature that would have been cool for either of us.

you poor bastard. shes gonna kick your ass.you better spend some good time with her or else shes gona say you two dont spend enough time together.

ooo oo, whats your phone number. i'll call you!

(604) 540-7121. hey, you asked. lets see if you actually ohpne nw... :P lol jp

awww, ben has girlfriendy trouble....yeah, anna right now is bitching at me for not wanting to go to this damned new years party.

maybe, cause you never see her, you should just.. you know... go. then make her feel bad about it when you get in a fight. lol

i've busted a few blood vessels already in my one eye

oh shit man- you poor bastard. <3
now my new years plans may have changed- i might be going to this huge party in surrey, but with all older guys. jason would be coming, but hes all worried about it, i dont think he has much to worry about. silly boy. i think were doing that anyways... we mght not. cause hes all scared. its cute. he cut his hair, it was past his shoulders and now its half an inch. well, im sick of this topic being on the second and third page.. im gona go eat chocolate now...
okay, sorry if i sound wierd. im freaked out. i had dreams about jasons friends in oklahoma- i wanted to sleep with them and now im all paraniod about them coming up. *is severely traumatized* course it was just a dream... err... but... i dont know. sorry.

At 12/29/04 02:53 PM, TearDropped wrote:

At 12/29/04 12:33 AM, nananananana_MALZAR wrote:

i've seen her maybe once this whole vacation, and we didn't do anything of any nature that would have been cool for either of us.

you poor bastard. shes gonna kick your ass.you better spend some good time with her or else shes gona say you two dont spend enough time together.

well, its not really exactly my fault, she has basketball too and work. if i'm not working, she is. when i dont have practice she does. its a viciouse circle of annoying shit.

ooo oo, whats your phone number. i'll call you!

(604) 540-7121. hey, you asked. lets see if you actually ohpne nw... :P lol jp

if i have time, i will...seriously. you called me once, might as well return the favor.

man, have to find ryans number....stupid forums are down. can't wait till nemoX finally gets his foreign ass a credit card to pay for hosting again!! ^_^

awww, ben has girlfriendy trouble....yeah, anna right now is bitching at me for not wanting to go to this damned new years party.

maybe, cause you never see her, you should just.. you know... go. then make her feel bad about it when you get in a fight. lol

no, i wont do that to her. but i told her that i wont know till that day. which totally makes her crazy because she's the type of person who wants everything planned out way in advance...and yeah, me, i am the type of person that wakes up in the morning and goes with whatever the day gives me. i suck at planning ahead

what i've found is that when i plan ahead, my plans get smashed and turned into a bloody pulp come time to fallow through with them. so i just let things happen as they do, then make plans depending on what is really going on. that way i dont get too annoyed when thigns dont go as planned. because there is no plan

i've busted a few blood vessels already in my one eye

oh shit man- you poor bastard. <3

you read that shedual right?

well, i had the exact same schedual. except after i came home from work i went to the school and jumped on a bus and had a game tonight at 6:30. i just got home half an hour ago.

we won ^_^. and tomarrow we are playing the current state champions....SS sewerd or some gay shit town like that. i donno why the fuck anybody would ever invite them so far up north for a tourniment...i mean its a givin they're gonna destroy us...why do they bother showing up?

now my new years plans may have changed- i might be going to this huge party in surrey, but with all older guys. jason would be coming, but hes all worried about it, i dont think he has much to worry about. silly boy. i think were doing that anyways... we mght not. cause hes all scared. its cute. he cut his hair, it was past his shoulders and now its half an inch. well, im sick of this topic being on the second and third page.. im gona go eat chocolate now...

well, i'd be scared to lose you too if i were dating you. hell, i'd probably be a little worried if anna were to go to a party with a bunch of other single older guys.

hell..i have no fucking clue why she'd choose me at all..i mean, yeah, i'm nice once ina while, but for the most part i'm an asshole to her best friend, i have horrible self esteam issues, i'm no good at sports, i lack ambition in school, i dont have any plans for my future (i dont even plan on being alive till 30). and here she is, uber smart and like a 4.5GPA in school, good at basketball and running, amazingly nice to everybody and already has her life planned out (she's going to MIT, then after that she's going to medical school, after that she's going to africa for some doctors abraud type dealy, and then back to the states or something where she's going to research for cancer or something cool like that..and the peace corps is gonna be fit in somewhere in there too)

yeah, peace corps sounds like fun, i might even do it one day. but i'm not going to be no damned doctor or going to MIT...i dont much care abotu school.

okay, sorry if i sound wierd. im freaked out. i had dreams about jasons friends in oklahoma- i wanted to sleep with them and now im all paraniod about them coming up. *is severely traumatized* course it was just a dream... err... but... i dont know. sorry.

awww, it is just a dream.

i had a dream the other day that i had hooked up with some chick from work (dont remeber who exactly) and when i woke up i felt kind of bad that i wasn't dreaming of anna...well, i fell back asleep and had a good dream about anna ;p.

At 12/29/04 10:08 PM, nananananana_MALZAR wrote: well, i'd be scared to lose you too if i were dating you. hell, i'd probably be a little worried if anna were to go to a party with a bunch of other single older guys.
hell..i have no fucking clue why she'd choose me at all... [insert list of incoherent ramblings concerning his apparent mediocrity]

I hear you. Not only am I worried that Oriana might one day realize that I'm nothing special, I'm also worried that she might one day decide that she can do better. And there's no doubt in my mind that she can. At the moment, things are proceeding along nicely -- I actually did get around to calling her and watching the movie, and what's more, I got a very nice good-bye from her -- but less than two weeks after I first took her out, she was already talking about how "cute" this guy was who worked at the SPCA Thrift Mart just down the street. That was just one of the things that was bothering me at the offset of our relationship. She still makes weird groping motions at the TV screen every time John Cusack or (for some bizarre reason) Rupert Grint appears. Whereas I haven't done anything of that nature since I first asked her out. I mean, how am I supposed to feel? Oh well, at least she's not the type to go to parties with "a bunch of single older guys". See, I'm not worried that she's going to cheat on me -- I know her well enough to know that she would never do that -- but I'm worried that one day, she might find herself wanting to with someone better. I'm kind of like you, Mal. I have no game plan for my life. More likely than not, my decision to go into independent filmmaking as a career will lead to me and whomever else I happen to be involved with at the time having to live in a dingy, dodgy, too-small apartment for a good four or five years while I'm busy writing, editing and submitting to festivals. What kind of life is that for a girl used to having the best? Part of me wonders if she even started going out with me because she somehow thought I was rich, that I could provide for her whatever she wanted, be it jewelry (done), gourmet food (done), or a life-size replica of the Mir Space Station (er, working on it?). But the truth is, I can't do all that. My future, being one that completely revolves around an ideal, has all the stability of a poorly-constructed house of Chinese playing cards. And I'm scared that when she sees that, she's gone. I'm not saying she's a gold digger or anything. I'm just saying that she might have started dating me with a romantic projection in mind that isn't true. And to be frank with you guys, if things do go awry and I end up getting raped from behind, I really don't think she'll be there to pick up the pieces. Not yet, anyways. In any case, she's out of town at the moment and I'm probably, once again, reading far too much into all this. But I really want this to work. And now, with 2004 rapidly leaving us all behind, it looks like I only have six more months to solidify things before I move on to college, leaving her to Grade 12. Guess I'll just take it one day at a time like you, Mal. But solidity or not, I know that she's the one I want to kiss when the ball drops in 2005.

Meanwhile, I'm really not looking forward to tomorrow. Since Ori gets back from her three-day trip to Port Alberni on the 31st, I want to get all my work out of the way tomorrow so I can spend a little more time with her before I have to drag myself back to hell -- I mean, school -- on the 4th. So, more reading from "Stanley Park" (forty more pages to go), one more Chemistry review package to work through (which simplifies down to two to three hours of mind-numbing calculations), and a short scene-by-scene treatment of the next few events in my latest screenplay to write out (which, hopefully, will be quick and painless). If all goes well, I might even get Stasia -- you there, Stasia? -- to come over tomorrow and watch Shaun of the Dead with me to wrap up the evening. Eh, maybe it won't be so bad. Maybe I'll enjoy the movie more as a mental zombie. I still need to figure out what's going on on New Year's though. A few of my friends are expecting me to party with them, but I'd really much rather spend it with Oriana. The unapparent horrors of popularity. Well, bugger all to 2004. I want champagne and foie gras.

At 12/29/04 11:21 PM, biteme2514 wrote: I hear you. Not only am I worried that Oriana might one day realize that I'm nothing special, I'm also worried that she might one day decide that she can do better. And there's no doubt in my mind that she can. At the moment, things are proceeding along nicely -- I actually did get around to calling her and watching the movie, and what's more, I got a very nice good-bye from her -- but less than two weeks after I first took her out, she was already talking about how "cute" this guy was who worked at the SPCA Thrift Mart just down the street. That was just one of the things that was bothering me at the offset of our relationship. She still makes weird groping motions at the TV screen every time John Cusack or (for some bizarre reason) Rupert Grint appears. Whereas I haven't done anything of that nature since I first asked her out.

well, anna has a weird obsession with mat damon...so um..yeah, i can deal with taht.

i have probably the lowest self esteem she's ever seen. and i kind of feel bad that i'm always a little self loathing, almost to the poitn where i even think she might be dating me out of pity or to help me feel better about myself. which is totally selfish. i'm sure she really does like me.

but lately we would argue and today she started going on about how whenever we have a few minutes of not talking on IM or something it means we have nothing in common.

sorry if i'm spending my time not talking to her, i'm not too good with conversation period sometimes, especially when she's tlaking about smart kid stuff i have no clue about. oh well.

i'm just afraid that i'll be so open and outrigth with her, that come the day when she does realize how sad and useless i really am for her, she'll drop me, and i'll be left hurt again. or that i may one day hurt her when i act like an asshole, whichi s bound to happen.

I mean, how am I supposed to feel? Oh well, at least she's not the type to go to parties with "a bunch of single older guys". See, I'm not worried that she's going to cheat on me -- I know her well enough to know that she would never do that -- but I'm worried that one day, she might find herself wanting to with someone better. I'm kind of like you, Mal. I have no game plan for my life.

well, anna keeps telling me her ex couldent stand up for himself, that he had no backbone. well...i'm not exactly the gutsiest person when a confrunation comes along. especially with somebody who i know can totally beat the shit out of me. and i know she would never cheat on me. or me on her. but i mean, if somebody starts hitting on her. i think i'd kinda flip out on them and get the crap beat out of me. or not do anything and look like a complete lamer to her.

More likely than not, my decision to go into independent filmmaking as a career will lead to me and whomever else I happen to be involved with at the time having to live in a dingy, dodgy, too-small apartment for a good four or five years while I'm busy writing, editing and submitting to festivals. What kind of life is that for a girl used to having the best?

i know raight? i dont have any money right now. i can't even buy anna a gift for chirstmas yet. and we pushed our holidays back a little so that i can get her something nice. i feel so bad. and my gameplan is totally less generalized.

i'm very idealistic, i'll probably go into politics or some type of human resources. i couldent stand being a teacher or some shit where i deal with foster kids and that. yeah, i like to help people. but i'm not going to be a shrink or anythign like that. maybe a physical tharapist...or at least a personal trainer of a sort for skiing and snowboarding, that's my dream

and i'm going to college most likely at some community college in colorado because i'm a bum like that...anna's complaining about not wanting to go to one ivy league school over another...

Part of me wonders if she even started going out with me because she somehow thought I was rich

i ask myself why anna chose me every single day. i dont have money, i never did. i once paid for myself on a date with a roll of quarters at the movie theater. she had to pay for herself. i dont have a car of my own so i have to bum rides or ask my parents to use their cars (my dad has a full size van. mom doesnt let me near her car). i'm an asshole to her friends because they annoy me. i never have time to hang out with her, even though wel ive 7 miles apart. i dont plan quite as well as she does, and my idiocy usually causes our plans to crumble. i have bad grades and almost no ambition. we're almost opposite. except for the fact that we like eachother a lot.

if things do go awry and I end up getting raped from behind, I really don't think she'll be there to pick up the pieces.

dont worry, you have great friends like stash and uh..i donno who else, are you still friends with robin? i donno.

either way, we'll all be here for you dude!!

But solidity or not, I know that she's the one I want to kiss when the ball drops in 2005.

exactly how i feel, but i mean, theres going to be some dumbass party at her friends house, i dont want to deal with allt he idiot people. but theres not a snowballs chance in hell either of our parents would let us go to the others house for new years. they assume we'll have sex and then she'll bep regnatn or some stupid shit like that

A few of my friends are expecting me to party with them, but I'd really much rather spend it with Oriana. The unapparent horrors of popularity. Well, bugger all to 2004. I want champagne and foie gras.

its kind of funny. people actually know we're dating now and keep asking me questions.

a friend of mine at work (well, not really a friend, btu i know her) came up to me while i was waiting for my private lesson int he morning and was like "so i heard you're dating anna..."

me: yeah.

her: so..i hear your a girlfriend stealer

me: what?

her: yeah, poor *ex's name* is heartbroken

me: they were broken up for a while before we started dating, plus she can't stand him

her: why not?

me: well, i dont think i'm at liberty to give out information on anna's personal life to you, but she doesn't like him anymore.

her: but he's so nice..

me: yeah.....

she then proceeded to go on with other awkward conversational topics that i dotn quite remember.

she's a cool cat though. a snowboarder and actually used to babysit me. now i'm taller then her and bigger then she is.

howdy... i am riding out my holiday vacation with movies and friends, still putting off all work i might need to do soon. 'the aviator' was an interesting movie, with an ending i never really expected. actually, the whole movie was unexpected. at first me and a couple of friends were going to see 'darkness', but the very attractive employee we asked to tell us the best movie playing told us it 'was pure shit'. she recommended 'the aviator'.

after seeing it i was wondering if this was a true story or not. i actually figured the guy was real, howard hughes, but i thought that maybe they exagerated in the movie. they didn't, which was a suprise as well.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Howard_Hughes

i finished reading 'lullaby' which was probably the best book i've read all year, and now i'm watching 'napoleon dynamite' for the sixth time with a friend.

im not going to that party. i haent told jason yet... and i wouldnt be there alone or anything... hed be there and steve would and aaron... but i d undertand that its not fair to him... and i love you too mally. ben and mal, any girl would be lucky to have you. serious. you dont look at yourselves properly. ben, your insanely smart, funny in a million different ways- some inappropirate, but thats not a bad thing, romantic, and commited. Mal, cmon i shouldnt have to give you this. if you lived here id be all over you. (dont tell jason) your sexy, sweet, and can always make me laugh whenever im sad. you to ben. and you can both hold up a great conversaton- even with someone like me so im sure you could d it with a girl you like, or are involved with. i dont want to hear you be down on yourself. i dont care who you fucking talk to, money has nothing to do with a relationship. or nice things. and you both just seem to think your assholes, you try too hard. all guys think theyre assholes. i promise you, you arent. and ben, i should know, i was glued to you for awhile there. and mal, you dont give an asshle vibe even the least bit. when i met you you were nice. your always sweet to me. and such a flirt, lol. i love you both desperatly. <3.
and yeah... i feel bad whenever i have sex dreams about other guys- ive had one about a foursome with steve and sam- but i told jason baout that. lol.
moms being a bitch. gtg. <3 to all

im mostly allowed to ramble about guys cause jasons bi and we can have a going convo about them. we have the same taste i guys. i love him so much.

At 12/30/04 03:08 AM, TearDropped wrote: Mal, cmon i shouldnt have to give you this. if you lived here id be all over you. (dont tell jason) your sexy, sweet, and can always make me laugh whenever im sad. you to ben. and you can both hold up a great conversaton- even with someone like me so im sure you could d it with a girl you like, or are involved with. i dont want to hear you be down on yourself.

you give me too much credit. really you do. yeah, i'm sweet and nice to people when i want to be. but i mean..i've noticed that i'm kind of mean to her friend. and lately people at work i dont much care abotu dealing with are always calling me an asshole

chick: give me a fry
me: no, go buy your own
chick: you'r such a jerk
me: you have money, get off your fat ass and get your own food.

yeah..i'm not that nice to some people either

and that girl had a boyfriend and we actually reffered to her as "hot chick" when she first started working there because we didn't know her name

i dont care who you fucking talk to, money has nothing to do with a relationship. or nice things. and you both just seem to think your assholes, you try too hard. all guys think theyre assholes. i promise you, you arent.

i'm still pretty bitter and sarcastic at times. and that could seem like a mean thing. and i hope to god money doesnt have anythign to do with relationships!! because i never have any

and mal, you dont give an asshle vibe even the least bit. when i met you you were nice. your always sweet to me. and such a flirt, lol. i love you both desperatly. <3.

you didn't get that vibe, even though i spent half the time making snide remarks about canadians?

and yeah... i feel bad whenever i have sex dreams about other guys- ive had one about a foursome with steve and sam- but i told jason baout that. lol.

i feel bad about having sex dreams period..because it usually means i'm not getting any and then i remember that i wont get any and that in my dream it wasn't anna...mostly i feel bad for the latter

At 12/30/04 12:22 AM, nananananana_MALZAR wrote: sorry if i'm spending my time not talking to her, i'm not too good with conversation period sometimes, especially when she's tlaking about smart kid stuff i have no clue about. oh well.
i ask myself why anna chose me every single day.
theres going to be some dumbass party [for New Year's] at her friends house, i dont want to deal with allt he idiot people.

See, you say you're not good with conversation, but my problem is just the opposite. I'm fine with holding a conversation, but me and Oriana just don't talk as much as we used to. Months ago, I was able to just call her up and talk well into the night, but now, when I do call her, she'll be watching TV or something and she won't give a rat's ass about the fact that I'm actually on the other end of that peculiar plastic device she has in her hand. And when I'm over at her place, sure, watching movies and then making out for a bit is all well and good, but before I know it, the evening's gone and my chance to really know her a little more and more each day has gone to Hell. I want to talk to her. I mean, isn't communication the most important thing in a relationship? The worst part is, if I tell her this and say, "You know what? We don't talk enough," to her, I don't think she'd really get what I'm driving at. She'll say, "Okay then, let's talk," and then I wouldn't know what to say. An awkward silence would fall upon the room and then we'd both be annoyed at each other. She may be my girlfriend now, but I want her to be my best friend again too. I miss that part of her. But you know what? Maybe I just don't know a good thing when I see it. After all, this is what I've wanted ever since I first realized that I liked her. It's just that it bugs me when I look at my phone, think about giving her a call and then change my mind. I should be able to do that. But I can't. Which really makes me wonder what's going to happen when I'm off at college and probably won't be able to see her more than once a week. What then? Only six more months left to find out.

Which brings me to my asking myself why Oriana even chose me in the first place. I don't know if she's thinking about this whole thing in any long-term sort of way. And that hurts. First off, I'm the first boyfriend. All she's done is make out with two other guys before me, but you don't need to know that. In some crazy way, I almost worry that because she hasn't explored as much, that she might change her mind at any moment and start wanting to. Second, before she told me that she thought she liked me back, she said that the only reason she didn't have a boyfriend yet was because I was the nicest guy she's met thus far. Of course, later that night, she told me, but I can't help wondering about the wording there. She's not only dating me now so she can bide her time and wait for a nicer guy, is she? I'm sure she wasn't thinking that but I guess I'm kind of worried that that's how her mind might work. You know, just going for whomever seems the best. I guess what it really boils down to is that I'm just not sure whether or not she's committed. I haven't screwed up yet with anything -- I haven't forgotten an important date, I haven't broken any sort of promise and I've never even been in a fight with her -- but what happens when one day, I do? Is she willing to stick with me enough to forgive me? At this point, I think so, but I'm just not sure. If only we just talked more often. It's more difficult to break it off with someone you actually converse with than with someone you just make out with all the time.

As for New Year's, now that my Chemistry is out of the way and I have less than twenty pages of "Stanley Park" to go, I guess I'm spending tomorrow night with Oriana. As much uncertainty as there is in everything I'm doing with her, I'm not going to make things better by just brooding on a website forum all the time. Unfortunately, I think she already told one of her friends that she might be dropping by tomorrow night. I can go with her if I want to -- that's not the problem -- but see, I just don't. I just want New Year's to be with me and her, no one else. But maybe that's selfish of me, who knows. I guess you know how I feel, Mal. I guess you know how I feel about it all. Oh well, at least I get to see her for New Year's. Maybe tomorrow night will change my perception about everything I've said here, but something tells me I'll need a lot more time than that.

Maybe more than I have.

Man, it seems a lot harder to reply to anything here with all the big ass posts you guys are making.

Anyway, just two days ago my grandparents bought some new furniture and needed to do with the old sofa and loveseat. So they called me down to dismantle both, and so I kicked and tore the two apart. Among the pieces of berber and OSB chipboard I found a lot of shit, including pencils, lego, gas coupons (expired 15 years ago), pop up baseball card (1992), and over three dollars worth of coinage.

At 12/31/04 03:26 AM, Painbringer wrote: Man, it seems a lot harder to reply to anything here with all the big ass posts you guys are making.

FUCK yeh dude. we should just talk to each other and make <10 line posts... that would be far better than whats going on here atm..

Anyway, just two days ago my grandparents bought some new furniture and needed to do with the old sofa and loveseat. So they called me down to dismantle both, and so I kicked and tore the two apart. Among the pieces of berber and OSB chipboard I found a lot of shit, including pencils, lego, gas coupons (expired 15 years ago), pop up baseball card (1992), and over three dollars worth of coinage.

hahahah!!!
dude, grandparents rock dont they?
i was at my grandparents earlier today with my dad playing them all in table tennis and sharing with them some knowledge about computers..
and ofcourse, eating yummy food. 'twas a grand time.

Hey Slackers
Just thought I'd drop by and say hi. So hi, oh and Happy New Year! when it comes
For those who don't know who the hell I am, HI my name is Robin. I'm good friends with TearDropped and Biteme.

Well I hope everyone here is good good. That's all from me.
See Ya.

At 12/31/04 05:20 AM, M-A-R-C-U-S wrote: FUCK yeh dude. we should just talk to each other and make <10 line posts... that would be far better than whats going on here atm..

I agree that under ten lines is enough to fit in the whole message. But what would we possibly have to talk about?

dude, grandparents rock dont they?

Meh. I don't think "rock" would be the word I'd use..

'twas a grand time.

Okay, so the pong thing would be fun. But what did you teach them about computers?

At 12/31/04 07:55 PM, batmans_sidekick wrote: Hey Slackers
Just thought I'd drop by and say hi. So hi, oh and Happy New Year! when it comes

Hi. Long time no see, Rob.

I'm good friends with TearDropped and Biteme.

So I'm not a friend of your's, huh?

That's all from me.
See Ya.

Well, goodbye. It's been 14 months since you've been with us.

*stumbles in with lampshade on head*
Hey... everybodeh
It's new years eve and so lets...
PARTEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*colapsses on floor*

At 12/31/04 09:16 PM, Painbringer wrote: I agree that under ten lines is enough to fit in the whole message. But what would we possibly have to talk about?

shit. you raise a good point, ma man.

Meh. I don't think "rock" would be the word I'd use..

lol... come to think of it, neither.
maybe 'young at heart' fits better? lol.
my granddad is 71 or 72 now and he can beat me at tabble tennis and in tennis... hes a fucking freak!

Okay, so the pong thing would be fun. But what did you teach them about computers?

ping pong is a totally different game to tabble tennis... i will ask of you to never speak of this ping crap again!
heh, well first of all their speakers had never 'spoken' - they had never heard sound from their computer - because firstly they had failed to plug them in at the power point (that was a while ago), and yesterday we realised that they hadnt turned them on :P lol... very funny. they were amazed at the sound they heard from their on PC. haha.
oh, and my dad showed em a little bit about clip art and so on. they are doing a computer course... weird.
anyhoo, i must be getting on 10 lines, haha. im out.

At 12/31/04 09:28 PM, CaribuDude wrote: *colapsses on floor*

Uh, should I help him, or should I pop a cap in his head?

JK >:-)

Refresh my memory: I know you are a vet and all, but what names did you go by, and are you a member of Slackers?

At 12/31/04 09:56 PM, M-A-R-C-U-S wrote: shit. you raise a good point, ma man.

It may be the reason why I have trouble making friends.

my granddad is 71 or 72 now and he can beat me at tabble tennis and in tennis...

And you thought old people are a bunch of wrinkled weaklings, didn't you?

ping pong is a totally different game to tabble tennis... i will ask of you to never speak of this ping crap again!

Have I offended you? Good.

they were amazed at the sound they heard from their on PC. haha.

Considering that they grew up in the age when computer music came from the PC speaker.

they are doing a computer course... weird.

Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?

anyhoo, i must be getting on 10 lines, haha. im out.

Leaving, so soon?

At 12/31/04 10:28 PM, Painbringer wrote:

At 12/31/04 09:28 PM, CaribuDude wrote: *colapsses on floor*

Uh, should I help him, or should I pop a cap in his head?

JK >:-)

Refresh my memory: I know you are a vet and all, but what names did you go by, and are you a member of Slackers?

No... no I'm not

At 12/31/04 10:37 PM, Painbringer wrote: It may be the reason why I have trouble making friends.

there you go.

And you thought old people are a bunch of wrinkled weaklings, didn't you?

..nnno not really :)

Have I offended you? Good.

lol, sukah... i pity joo!

Considering that they grew up in the age when computer music came from the PC speaker.

:S wtf?!
im going to take that as sarcasm...
*walks off scratching head*

Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?

not me thats for sure.
but how many 70 year olds do you know doing a PC course?
thats why i said 'weird'.

Leaving, so soon?

no im here for another couple of hours i guess.
i was just adsent from my computer for about 4 hours because i was outside and eating and so on and so forth...
and i missed out on 30 bp points! gah!
---
if i already havent bloated... i got 3,000 REVIEWS BIZATCHES!

At 1/1/05 03:47 AM, M-A-R-C-U-S wrote: there you go.

I don't think saying hi to everyone on MSN helps either.

..nnno not really :)

What, you have a fetish for old people? Yes you do.

lol, sukah... i pity joo!

Could you please repeat that in English!

S wtf?!

So they never owned a 8086? Weird.

but how many 70 year olds do you know doing a PC course?

I'm sure there's quite a few around here. Hell, I've seen an 80-year-old guy surfing on TV.

and i missed out on 30 bp points! gah!

That many new submitions?!?

if i already havent bloated... i got 3,000 REVIEWS BIZATCHES!

Bloated? Is this some kind of tsunami joke?

At 1/1/05 04:08 AM, Painbringer wrote: I don't think saying hi to everyone on MSN helps either.

are you saying that to me or is that what you do?
hmm, ive noticed that you tend to just say 'goodnight' of a night to me even if we have not talked in days, lol... weird.

What, you have a fetish for old people? Yes you do.

lol... no... i dont.
you probly do!

Could you please repeat that in English!

LAUGH OUT LOUD. you are a sucker. i pity you.

So they never owned a 8086? Weird.

dude i have no idea what a fucking 8086 is... and im certain they dont either.

I'm sure there's quite a few around here. Hell, I've seen an 80-year-old guy surfing on TV.

lol, yeh ive seen an 80 year old that does extreme sports with his dog always with him. any thing he does, the dog does...

That many new submitions?!?

yah... all in all, ive calculated that you can get 100 bp's in 12 hours.
thats 8.333 subs per hour.

Bloated? Is this some kind of tsunami joke?

lol! no!
bloated = boasted = showed off = "look at me im so good"...
lol... tsunami joke! haha.

At 1/1/05 07:07 AM, M-A-R-C-U-S wrote: hmm, ive noticed that you tend to just say 'goodnight' of a night to me even if we have not talked in days, lol... weird.

Yeah, sometimes I feel like saying goodnight to everyone who is active.

lol... no... i dont.
you probly do!

So what if I make out with older guys? :-P

LAUGH OUT LOUD. you are a sucker. i pity you.

So you're jealous that I give better head than you?

dude i have no idea what a fucking 8086 is... and im certain they dont either.

See that IBM XT pic below? That's the most common
kind of 8086 computers.

lol, yeh ive seen an 80 year old that does extreme sports with his dog always with him. any thing he does, the dog does...

Yeah, that's why you should respect you elders!

yah... all in all, ive calculated that you can get 100 bp's in 12 hours.
thats 8.333 subs per hour.

Is there such a thing as a fraction of a submition?

lol! no!
bloated = boasted = showed off = "look at me im so good"...

So in essence an attention whore, right?

lol... tsunami joke! haha.

I've actually been trying to find some on Google last night - No luck.

At 1/1/05 07:54 PM, Painbringer wrote: See that IBM XT pic below? That's the most common kind of 8086 computers.

Oops, forgot the pic.

At 1/1/05 07:54 PM, Painbringer wrote: So what if I make out with older guys? :-P

*shudders*

LAUGH OUT LOUD. you are a sucker. i pity you.

So you're jealous that I give better head than you?

if i was gh3y, maybe... but no.

See that IBM XT pic below? That's the most common
kind of 8086 computers.

well, i do in your later post :P haha.
and no ive never seen one of them, and i doubt my grandparents have either...
i dont think that those old crappy computers were big in Australia.

Yeah, that's why you should respect you elders!

so if one person is cool, i should respect all of them? i think not.

Is there such a thing as a fraction of a submition?

did i say there was? no.
im just saying that 100 over 12 is 8.333...
douche!

So in essence an attention whore, right?

exactly.

I've actually been trying to find some on Google last night - No luck.

damn. try those crappy sites like funny junk.com and ebaumsworld... theres bound to be something there...

At 12/31/04 03:00 AM, biteme2514 wrote: See, you say you're not good with conversation, but my problem is just the opposite.

anna and i just sit there in silence a lot of the time. its not very awkward anymore though. sometimes i even like it. i'm not saying i'm bad at keeping conversation, i can talk to people for long periods of time and be just fine (allison would know). but its kind of nice to sit in silence with somebody for a little while and just look at eachother.

Which brings me to my asking myself why Oriana even chose me in the first place. I don't know if she's thinking about this whole thing in any long-term sort of way. And that hurts.

before we started going out anna was telling me why she decided that she liked me and at one point said "because your not my ex"..heh, i donno, that could be taken the wrong way.

think of it this way ben, they are just trying to make us feel better. when oriana said that you were the nicest guy she'd ever met, she was trying to give you a compliment, not put a subtle hint that she will one day leave you.

the way i see it, i dont think anna or i are looking for a long relationship. a year or so maybe. we have plans to be together at least till april and june. its not like i'm afraid of the relationship not working. but yeah, i've already let myself get really involved into this all and i'm sure by the time we break up (god forbid) that it'll hurt. oh well, at least i'm happy for a little while.

Maybe more than I have.

i understand completely. but i also know that nobody is perfect, and that you are a very great person, ben!! any girl would be lucky to have you. you dont understand some of the slimeballs and assholes girls fall for sometimes, compared to them, youre fucking jesus.

anyway. i had a great new years. wound up spending my entire night making out with anna and fighting for space on a two person futon couch, which really couldent hold either of us alone. but it was still fun. fall asleep for 20min, wake up, make out. fall asleep again. stuff like that. it was the happiest i can remember being in the last few years.

then today after work she came back to my house, of course i had fallen asleep. i woke up to her next to me. you have any idea how great of a sight that is? so yeah...we layed in bed together from about 2:30 to 5pm. didn't even do anything, just kinda layed there in silence. then for about an hour she started messing with my hand...i donno, it was cute and really kinda cool. then she did the most cruel thing you could think of. we started making out for an hour or so. and then was like "in two minutes you have to go downstairs and talk to devon and jacob (who had been there for an hour or so) and play that damned risk game (whcih wound up being givin up on) " so yeah, i laughed it off...she kept looking at the clock and i'd laugh. and then right when two minutes were up she pushed me away and got up. i swear. that was just plain evil...then i got dressed (kinda funny how i was just in my boxers the entire time) and said "you only said i had to get dressed" and she's all like "no i didn't" we kissed some more and went downstairs.

At 12/31/04 03:26 AM, Painbringer wrote: Man, it seems a lot harder to reply to anything here with all the big ass posts you guys are making.

sorry dude, but nobody else was really talking at the time.

either way, nice to see everybody around some!!

robin, nice to see you again. i assume you got an email from stash asking you to reply in here.

Anyway, just two days ago my grandparents bought some new furniture and needed to do with the old sofa and loveseat.

sounds like fun.

my grandparents on my moms side are kind of in the shits lately. par (grandfather) is pretty suck, but we can't figure out what he's got. he even had a blood transfusion the other day. gram (grandmother) has alziemers and is pretty out of it.