I'm so bad

Once upon a time a young boy and girl were changing and saw eachothers parts and asked eachother... "What's that?" - since they didn't know they asked their parents.
The father told the son that it was his car.
The mother told the daughter it was her garage.
After a brief and poor explination the parents left the room for an hour to prepare dinner. When they return their is blood everywhere in the room. The father walks up to the son and asks "What happen?" the son then looks at the father and says...
"I tried to park my car in her garage but, it didn't fit so I had to cut the back wheels off."

<3

At 10/20/08 12:32 AM, TheCriminalDuder wrote: Once upon a time a young boy and girl were changing and saw eachothers parts and asked eachother... "What's that?" - since they didn't know they asked their parents.
The father told the son that it was his car.
The mother told the daughter it was her garage.
After a brief and poor explination the parents left the room for an hour to prepare dinner. When they return their is blood everywhere in the room. The father walks up to the son and asks "What happen?" the son then looks at the father and says...
"I tried to park my car in her garage but, it didn't fit so I had to cut the back wheels off."

<3

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha that has to be one of the funniest jokes I've ever heard.
here's a good one, sorta like that one.

Pinocchio and his girlfriend are in bed, doing what wooden puppets do, when she suddenly sighs. He asks her why, and she replies, "You're probably the best lover I've ever had, but every time we make love you give me splinters."

This remark bothers Pinocchio a great deal, so the next day he seeks advice from Gepetto, who suggests a bit of sandpaper might "smooth out" Pinnochio's relationship with his girlfriend. Pinocchio graciously thanks his creator and goes on his way.

A couple of weeks later, Gepetto runs into Pinocchio at the hardware store, where his little wooden friend is buying every package of sandpaper the store has in stock.

"So, Pinocchio," Gepetto remarks, "things must be going pretty damn good with the girls, eh?"

"Girls?" says Pinocchio, "Who needs girls?"

You're all sick bastards.

I was just listening to Stairway to Heaven backwards and I actually got scared. Ok, not scared, but.. like.. I dunno how to explain it. It's fucking creepy.. Makes me want to believe in God/Satan, because there must be some explanation - the words are too clear to be coincidence (I know they aren't incredibly clear, but you can make them out). Plus the forward song lyrics talk about different paths and such, and you can kinda interpret the song to be quite positive and about dieing and going to heaven. Listening to it backwards is the exact opposite. Theres a few other songs that are creepy too; some are intentional (like "Empty Spaces" by Pink Floyd) but for example "I'm So Tired" by The Beatles seems to have the backwards-lyrics "Paul is a dead man, miss him, miss him". This is obviously a coincidence, but it's fucking scary.

I'm very creeped out, someone hold me.

Uh.. brighten the mood!

How many velociraptors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they prefer to wait for you in the dark.

At 10/20/08 03:25 AM, liaaaam wrote: for example "I'm So Tired" by The Beatles seems to have the backwards-lyrics "Paul is a dead man, miss him, miss him". This is obviously a coincidence, but it's fucking scary.

I've heard all these but the "Empty Spaces" one, but I think The Beatles song was easily the creepiest. Especially the voice.

Name Meaning Fun

Derek means Famous Ruler
Leroy means The King
Vandenberg means (or is translated ) to People from the mountains
All of it is dutch orgin.
So then let us see lads...
Derek Leroy Vandenberg would mean... Famous Ruler/King from the mountains.
Thus I am the mountain king. :3

And now I must listen to the Apocalyptica version of a kickass song.

Dare you explore your own meaning?

Also: Yoko Ono (OR WHATEVER) shot John Lennon.

At 10/20/08 03:35 AM, TheCriminalDuder wrote: Dare you explore your own meaning?

Liam = Determined Guardian.
Daniel = God Is My Judge
MacDonald = Son of Donald

Determined Guardian who works for God? And my dad is named Donald.

no he's not.

I'm ill
Expect psychotic moderating from me today

Viktor (Victor) - Winner, conqueror.

Yeah.

I'm still crippled

So as some of you know, I crashed my bike on saturday; not badly, i still got basicly straight back on and finished my trip to town (Mostly out of worry for friend i was meeting thinking I'd ditched her since I don't have her number) and to walk around town for a few hours, then go to work and work for 6 hours.

During this time, i got stiffer and stiffer as the swelling got worse until for the last 34 hours I've basicly done nothing but lying down (on stomach or right side) and watching TV/chatting on MSN. I have bad road rash on forearm and upper thigh, and worse on my bum where i've lost some feeling altogether in part along with serious swelling that has stopped me sitting down, walking properly, bending down properly, lying on back or left side etc etc. No broken bones or anything like that that i'm aware of.

The bike isn't too bad, the clutch lever snapped in two, the gear shift lost it's clip and washer that holds it to the pivot, but it also got bent out of shape which means even if i trys to slide too far off the pivot to work, it does still work. The bike is still running, apart from that there is some wearing away on side of left mirror and handlebar end, and a panel is cracked to shit.

Re: Road Rash

At 10/20/08 05:18 AM, dELtaluca wrote: I'm still crippled

The bike isn't too bad, the clutch lever snapped in two, the gear shift lost it's clip and washer that holds it to the pivot, but it also got bent out of shape which means even if i trys to slide too far off the pivot to work, it does still work. The bike is still running, apart from that there is some wearing away on side of left mirror and handlebar end, and a panel is cracked to shit.

It's nice me and dELta both seem to compete in the same fields. I code, he performs miracles in actionscript. I ride a cruiser motorcycle, he rides a more powerful one. I lowside my three month old motorcycle in the wet and scrape my leathers and rash my leg, he highsides his month old one and rips a new hole in his arse.

Why must you be better than me at EVERYTHING Luca?! WHY?!

As I keep telling you, you need to go to A&E to get looked at. Get well soon.

Hey, hey guys

Hey,

Why does Dr Pepper come in a bottle?

BECAUSE HIS WIFE DIED!!!

What?

At 10/20/08 06:12 AM, RyanPridgeon wrote: Why does Dr Pepper come in a bottle?

Next guy to tell a joke in this lounge gets banned for a month.
I'm serious.

Hahahaa, that's a good one Kayn. I love you with all my heart.

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Remove the pin and throw it back.

Yo momma's so fat, that when the cops showed her a picture of her feet she could not identify them.

There were two women going down Highway 84. A cop pulls them over and says,"do you know you were speeding?" She replies,"I wasn't speeding, the speed limit is 84." The cop says,"That's the name of the road." He looks over at the passenger who is huffing and puffing with a pale face.
"What's wrong with her?" He asks.
She replies,"We just got off 218."

A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I've got a special game for you. I'll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint...my...house."

Once there was a duck that wanted some grapes so he says to the shop owner "do you have any grapes?" and the shopkeeper says "no". 1 hour later the duck comes back and asks "do you have any grapes? and the shopkeeper says "no". Then the next day he asks "do you have any grapes?" and the shopkeeper says "no and if you come back i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor!!!" "ok! ok!" said the duck. the next day he asks "do you have any nails?" "no" "do you have any grapes?"

There where three soliders walking through the forest. The first one says,"Look theres some deer tracks." The 2nd one says,"No those are rabbit tracks." The third one says," No those are raccoon tracks." They all got hit by the train.

Three men in the army are doing target practice. First guy has a rifle, second guy has a really sharp knife to throw and the third guy has a grenade. The first guy shoots his gun, totally misses the target, and a little boy comes in crying. "why are you crying?" the guy with the gun asks the little boy. "My brother just got shot out of nowhere." The second guy throws the knife, totally misses, and a man in a tux comes in crying. "why are you crying?" the man with the knife asked. "i was about to get married when my fiance` got stabbed outta nowhere." The third guy threw the grenade, totally missed, and a blond come in cracking up. "why are you laughing??" the man with the grenade asked. "I FARTED AND MY HOUSE EXPLODED!!"

One day the boys were playing soccer. then their ball gets stuck on a tree.Blond girl comes and the boys tell her that they will give her $50 if she would climb the tree and get the ball for them. She does as the ask and goes to her mom and says "Mommy mommy, I got $50 from the boys for getting the ball for them." Her mom says"Silly girl they just wanted to see your underwear." The next day the same thing happens except this time the boys offered her $1000.She accepted and got the ball. She went to her mom and said"Mommy mommy, I got $1000 from the boys for getting their ball for them." Her mom says" Silly girl I told you they just want to see your underwear." Blondie says" well, I tricked them this time cuz I didnt waer any underwear!"

A big fat lady walks in to a bar with a duck under her arm. The bartender says "Hey, were did you get the pig?" She says "It's not a pig it's a duck." He says "I was talking to the duck"

What?

HUH?

Tad= Derived from Thad. Ohhh....

At 10/20/08 07:21 AM, RyanPridgeon wrote: Hahahaa, that's a good one Kayn. I love you with all my heart.

I make that a 9 month ban :D. One per joke.

Road Rash

Hmm, if you've got bad road rash that bad you'd better get some antibiotics on it, it's basically a burn, and by the sounds of it, a pretty bad one, so i agree with kayn, get it checked. Also read this for a helpful guide from the interwebs.

Adam - Mankind
Laurence - Laurel-Crowned

And Pearce isnt there :(

Mines pretty shiity :(

At 10/20/08 03:25 AM, liaaaam wrote: I was just listening to Stairway to Heaven backwards and I actually got scared.

I've listened to a whole Slipknot album backwards, it sounded great.

At 10/20/08 12:32 AM, TheCriminalDuder wrote: Once upon a time a young boy and girl were changing....

My mate told me a joke similar to that a while ago, but with some parents and a small kid who kept walking in on them.

At 10/20/08 03:24 AM, Depredation wrote: You're all sick bastards.

Why, thank you!

Name fun

My internet can't pick up any of the sites that let you search name meanings, can someone search:
Michael,
Connor and
Keating?

Tom- A twin
William- Protector
John- Merciful
Mattinson isn't there but Mattox is so I'll use that which is God's gift. (Mattox being a shortened nickname kind of thing.)

So that makes me: God's gift the merciful protector who is a twin 0o?

Biscuits: Yum yum. My favourites are probably viscounts. (Green minty circles.)

At 10/20/08 05:41 AM, KaynSlamdyke wrote: It's nice me and dELta both seem to compete in the same fields. I code, he performs miracles in actionscript. I ride a cruiser motorcycle, he rides a more powerful one. I lowside my three month old motorcycle in the wet and scrape my leathers and rash my leg, he highsides his month old one and rips a new hole in his arse.

Lol, all I could think when I read that he crashed was "BUT HE JUST GOT THAT BIKE!". Mainly because he said he was Ok, not because I'm an asshole =D Get well soon, both of you :)

Why did I cross the road?
Because I love you.

not a joke, I do.

At 10/20/08 01:05 PM, mwmike wrote: My internet can't pick up any of the sites that let you search name meanings, can someone search:
Michael,

Michael, archangel of Fire. Hebrew for "Who is like God?"

Connor

Gaelic for "Lover of Hounds", also French for "he who is eternally persued by chronologically displaced androids"

Keating?

He who croons in Boyzone

At 10/20/08 01:15 PM, tommattox wrote: Tom- A twin
William- Protector
John- Merciful
Mattinson isn't there but Mattox is so I'll use that which is God's gift. (Mattox being a shortened nickname kind of thing.)

So that makes me: God's gift the merciful protector who is a twin 0o?

Biscuits: Yum yum. My favourites are probably viscounts. (Green minty circles.)

I'm your other twin protector <3 My last name is meaningless though :C

Will
Tom

Wow, Kayn. You actually looked it up.

At 10/20/08 01:35 PM, KaynSlamdyke wrote: Michael, archangel of Fire. Hebrew for "Who is like God?"

I like fire.

Seriously, I do. Deodorant can flamethrowers are great.

Connor

Gaelic for "Lover of Hounds", also French for "he who is eternally persued by chronologically displaced androids"

Probably the Gaelic one, since my family are Irish. My name in Gaelic is 'Mihall', though I'm not sure if I spelt it right.!

Keating?

He who croons in Boyzone

Hmm.....?

Name Meanings

One I found:

Name:
Dick
Meaning:
Powerful

At 10/20/08 02:26 PM, mwmike wrote: Name Meanings

One I found:

Name:
Dick
Meaning:
Powerful

I know Edward means Wealthy Guardian, but that's not hilarious =D

Hurray Duder E. is up today. The server was down for a bit and I was talkin' to the dude in charge and he told me it may go down a bit again sometime durring the afternoon.

When my site was down breifly I got me thinkin' 'bout it. I think It's time I polish it up and update a few things.
I should totally jack a Luis idea and start interviewing people once and a while.

I wouldn't be so lonely on the internet then maybe. Haha!

names
since when Adam means mankind ? Adam means humen...
Saar means = storm
shalev = calm
oximoron...
all the names that ends in el like daniel are somthing conected to god. cause el in hebrew is god
dani is like din which is justice..
funfacts =]

At 10/20/08 03:34 PM, patu1 wrote: names
since when Adam means mankind ? Adam means humen...

Names tend to have more than one meaning.